Get The Coke right..

One day Mary was walking in the pasar pagi and have decided to buy a lamb for long term companionship. So she walked and browsed and came across a stall.

Mary : Elo, i wanted a lamb

Berry : Ok, wat kinda lamb u want? we can custom-rear our lambs accordingly to your requirement.

Mary : erm, ok, u get me something that matches my dress, can? their hair must be red and pink with streaks of turquoise.

Berry : erm, ok, how u want the streaks to go? vertical ? horizontal?

Mary : wei!! u r selling, u have more expertise than i do in custom rearing rite? why dun u go figure and show me some?

Berry : oh yah!, u r rite. no worries, gimme a minute. i go get some samples for ya. yuuhooo senorita Silly !!! I need u to get me some samples of lambs in various turquoise streak for Miss mary here.

Silly : Ok. ( do, do, do, do)

Berry : Miss mary, here u go

Mary : nope, somehow ur sample is not intriguing. can ya do better? and i think this is not a lamb with blue streaks,it looks like a babi with tocang. and this one - it looked like a giraffe with a basket on his head!

Berry : hmm, ok. wait a while. Yo Silly!!! Ur samples aint impressing. u may wanna do another few more for miss mary to choose? shave more lambs pls!

Silly : wtf !! wtf !! eh, wat is wrong with miss mary? who she think she is? why she kip asking me to do more samples? wtf wtf wtf !! how many lambs have she got from us?

Common sense of the day : a vending machine 'vends' out stuff, when coins are placed in ,and options selected. If a coke is required, please vend a Coke out and not Pepsi. When pepsi are 'vended' out, obviously vending machine's programming gone cuckoo....and coin slotter may not want to have a pepsi .. it's not for u to accuse the money slotter for slotting in money for a can of Coke... it's U who have to consider if your output is even relevant to what people demanded for!!!! u dumbwart!

I think ...

I really do think that ;

1- all women drivers should emulate me when parking. Most of u ladies took too much time to park! Why drive a bull Avanza when u dare not and have much hesitation to reverse park?
2- life is never fair. Some gt to have hair extension for RM700 and i am contemplating if i should be spending RM21 to buy a hair colorant or get some gay men to do it with streaks of highlight for less than RM120
3- all bitch-tard* should go to a reserve land in Tg Sepat and plant their own crops and rear love child, play with vibrators and do not come and irritate people with their unstable, easily-provoked emotion.
4- there really is nothing wrong with me and my character. Its just that I am what I am after being insanely ill-treated wth much prejudism by all of U !!
5- some people should learn to take control of themselves in the office!! in the park, in the malls and everywhere where public are involved. others do not deserved to be insulted by U just because u are either lacking or have over abuse estrogen intake in your daily supplement.
6- ex-es ( gfs or bfs shud learn to take a grip and not whine after the end of the chapter). And I am so gonna blog about U very soon!! )
7- I can make a lot of changes in perspective to the people in Lao PDR :D
8- I have found a place that Iwould love to be involved and contribute my effort in. But there are too many unnecessary hurdles of emotion shattering my determination.. well, i supposed i got to bring my eagerness elsewhere and it better be soon..
9- porn is unnecessary to promote erection or ejaculation or any sort of arousal. I personally think porn is like watching a horror story of the CSI agents dissecting some dead one's anatomy and u get 250% zoomed up shots of someone's labia erectico in over-used mode and almost ripe to drop off any time.. *shivers* and how can these promote arousal? i felt like having been shoved a rubber dildo and forced to chew on it!!!
10- I am an emo-freak.. and all this unnecessary stress relating u, u and u out there moulding a stronger me..

wtf..

work still not done, color pencils still intact, designs still not drawn..

wtf..

Break the Door With Your Sissy Hand!

Yeah
Slam the door as hard as u wish
but u still got a pair of boobs, not sets of scrotums
Bang the tables as hard as u may
but u still gotta admit u got unruly hair wiht no resemblance to any Tom, Dick and Harry

I used to get all fret up by people like ya
who creates such fuss over own disability to draw a line between logic and PMS
( oh yes, unfortunately in ur state now, u still have to go thru post-period syndrome)
I used to have a weak heart with desk banger in fear that they may felt hurt over a particular action (wtf ?? )
I used to start pondering hen peope slam door if its my fault that could have created such a commotion

u know what now?
I DUN GIVE A SHIT WHEN U BANG THE CIBAI TABLE !!
i have people like u all to thank for making me goin thru these learning curve..
now i felt hilarious everytime i see these behaviour because it no longer irk the senses in me
it no longer leave a twitch in my heart
so numb i cant event sing out nUmb by Linkin park in full emotion
its like watching Dungeons of Dragons with Scooby as the lead
U MEMANG BODOH GILA BABI BOLEH PERGI JILAT POONANI U!!! (poonani(R) - courtesy of KimberlyCun's blog which i visit often)

I SO HATE U
that i swear u to hell
I know i will be goin going to hell with all my explicit acts
but I can already imagine myself to be in the hell where all things are nice and U
U !!! i can see u in the part where all things are rotten and all ur species convene in an oblivious mode with maggots crawling from your pubes and crippled love children with one eye on ur cradle

things are never the same again
i believe in development
in transformation
in going for the better
but whatever it is, I think i m not to be blamed for all that have occured..
It's U . U. U. U.

U have caused me to leave so much filth in my porny blog by writing u hate mail!
The past were the times when I have to have second thoughts in fear people may read and have a second angle when deciphering me..
Now I so hope you can remember my IP address and read this out aloud to your members!!
Start a hate group hating me..
Pour all your angst and emotion towards me

U get it now?
U are channeling all your energy towards hating me ..
And I am happily planning my way to hell with lots of booze and nice men to taste, obviously oblivious to whatever hatred you have in me..
Lose it la... U have still got more estrogen than testosterone.. learn to grow a ball first before u start slamming door !!

POO KI MAK !!!

Sorry, did I gross u out?

I packed these from the Indian Kitchen in Bangsar the nite before departing to Laos.
RM 2 each blocks :)
There was no gulab jamu else I would have get another piece. What is better than a piece of darn sweet piece of the Indian savoury when u r in starvation?

Besides Deepavali, its great to have a piece of these any time!

Nope, cant fit in in such position

Nope, cant fit in too

Trying to fit in
Forcefully fitting regardless of how :P

And that's my starvation kit in case there is no food in Laos. Fortunately there is no need to rely solely on my sweets since since a bowl of noodle soup is only 10,000 kip ( dun ask me how much)

Noodle soup

Life in Laos for me also depend heavily on the lao Coffee at 7,000 kip. There arent many types of food over in Laos, but u surely wont starve to death. Else be like me, coffee and beer :) . Then there's also different types of baguettes, different types of noodle soup, plagiarised thai food,

worms..

eh!! worming at the wrong place... nope, Lao people do not eat worm, silk worm. Erm.. wait a minute.. I am not sure if they do eat worms. After all I saw dead bats, dead rats and snakes being sold in the market.. maybe..
Then there is also shakes and crepes.. at 7,000 kips to 15,000 kips

Even the Japanese gal, Rie, beh tahan and must have an Oreo shake everyday! (fyi, the oreo shake concoction is made up of ONE oreo cookie, half a tin condensed milk, and lots of ice blocks, all blended)

My staple - Lao coffee, and Shuba with mix fruit shake with yogurt.

And of course when laobeer is only 10,000 kip for THIS big a bottle, why bother thinking that alcohol is bad for health and creates beer belly?

LETS ALL HELP LAO TO CREATE A DEVELOPED NATION BY DRINKING LAOBEER!!!

And so I am back with some silks, a dirty bag full of worn out clothes and also the MARKS which will never leave me out of sight ----

THIS !! (nothing more below there :D )

Wtf, I have lost my ability to shed off any dark spots or dry skin on me in a week. That was 10 years back. With the advance technology in natural ageing, I have THIS! Its been for a month I've been wearing this fitted-on-the-skin blouse. No amount of exfoliation nor cream help. Thats how deep I love being in Laos U________U Its always in my mind!

Another gross image of my toes.. Managed to scrape off some blood clot. Now I have an empty pocket between the nail and the flesh, where the clot used to fill themselves in.

Bluerghhh
Now u know why i refused to go for any manicure / pedicure session? I will gross people out.

When Coffee Just Cant Help Ya..

I have fallen in love ...
Very seldom I do fall in love...
In fact the possibility for loe to fall on me is rare...
Its always flings...
Or sometimes merely lust...
But I am serious this time...

I LOVE ........

LG KS360

The LG qwerty phone.. I am still not able to define what is meant by qwerty, maybe its cutie, sweetie, quirky..
I do not know how do people send MMS, I cant differentiate WAP and 3G or GPRS. None of the abbreviation excite me.
I only know -to receive call -to make call - to receive sms - to send sms
I also do not know what number to call back to the operator of the telco that I subscribe..
But it desnt matter..
I am still so in love with the qwerty phone!!!!!
Thank you for making me realise I still have the ability to love!!!

Back to real life now :(
I suspect I still have a contact len folded somewhere in my cornea since last week.
The stupid ankle is still in pain and in fact swollen from stepping to a concealed power plug void on the floor.
Am still not able to master 3rd speed of Chowka No.6 in my odissi ..
Sales report still dwindles and swindles .. gawd!!!!
Work... sigh.. pigh.. ligh....
And I thought a week of breakaway to the land where people dont rush (PDR -Lao) would bring back a full geared bean.. nop.. it didnt work...
The bean is soooo exhausted, so misaligned...
Everyday seem to consist of only 2 hours..
Never seem enough to get everything together in pieces..
Too short to even finish up the caffeine in the glass..
Doesnt seem sufficient to reply and to send out as many emails..

Then

At another angle things seems to not fall it its own place...
Some took too long..
Some went off and did not come back.. (i thought its a boomerang process!!)
Some return with a miniscule of hope after much effort thrown in..
Things just did not go where its supposed to be!!!

There were so many plans to execute and to implement..
There were aspirations..
There is these glitches and sudden glimpse that appear in the mind just before dozing off to sleep..
its the excitement to start a new day immediately tomorrow and make a difference..
Then the hope slums when the day arrive!!
Why??
Oh Why??

Mundane Sunday

Sunday sunday very mundane..
Sunday morning gives u an energetic mode to utilise the entire day on strategising what is to be done when Monday blues hurricane arrives the next day.
I swear I have so much plan to implement on a Sunday now that I seldom go out hiking on Sunday morning...
I gotta plan for my small little 'workshop' next door :) do a lil bit of costing to see how much it will cost me
I gotta plan for coming Chinese New Year, on things I can adorn this small home of mine so it won't look poor, when some bastards decides to come visiting..
I gotta browse the webs for more contacts to call, hoping the data derived wud last me a week before the next Sunday arrives..
I gotta start utilise all the books I've bought and start learning Japanese and learn ablout business from Michael Gerber!

I N S T E A D

All i did on a Sunday was and is and will only be ;

Wake up at 12.30pm only to reach the remote and watch Melodi to see if the recent Malay artistes have gotten divorce or not.
Look in the friedge and look in the wallet to see if its worth it for me to steam some edibles from lasw week remains as lunch or spare RM4.50 for food downstairs.
Stare at the backpack and rest of junk on the floor that i am supposed to return to a fren after borrowing for like... ages?
Voila, its almost 4pm and time to get ready for a jog!!
And there goes a day.. where I will be out and back after 9pm :(

I HATE SUNDAYS...

:(

Wat-Da-Fath no tomboys??

I hate tomboys who failed to personify a genuine tomboy.
A genuine one knows what to do with the hair and not let it hang around resembling semi woman, semi man.
A genuine one also almost very often have a stud on the ear.
A genuine one also wears cap and look sportive and not ah-pek-ish..
A genuine one also knows that besides the fugly Abercrombie t-shirts, there are more to play with, like... shirts!

U see la... u not-so-genuine masses of tomboys have caused much tremors to the rest of them good looking ones!! U guys/ girls cant live up to the name be a gutsy one.. till the 'wulamak' have to come out and declare the fat-war on u peeps!!

Have you ever considered why were u all brought into this turmoil of fat-war?

----

----

----

Scenario 1

Fucker-rudin walked into office .

Is-my-hai : pagi Fucker!

Fucker : ya.. pagi U___U ( with gloomy face)

Is-my-hai : napa muka ko macam sedih je? tak cukup seks ke malam semalam?

Fucker : pukimak... jangan ko cakap lagi! aku trauma!! trauma!!!

Is-my-hai : napa? napa? cerita la...

Fucker : aku jumpa la orang awek ni kan.. member pengkid la.... tapi muka ada macam Aishwarya Rai. Aku pun cuba ngorat ler... tapi dia tak hirau aku!! pukimak nya...!!!

Is-my-hai : ye ke?? muka ko kan hensem gila babi pun dia tak minat? pookimak!!

Fucker : itulah!!! aku benci pengkid !!! mulai sekarang aku nak ban diaorang!!!

Is-my-hai : ok, ok, takpe, besok kita mula kan kntroversi fat-war pada komuniti pengkid.. biar diaorang merana skit!

Fucker : betul kata kau.. ok, esok kita umum atas paper.. kita war-fat-fat dengan mat mat cheebai tu !!!




Scenario 2

Is-my-hai : pagi Fucker!

Fucker : ya.. pagi U___U ( with gloomy face)

Is-my-hai : napa muka ko macam sedih je? tak cukup seks ke malam semalam?

Fucker : pukimak... jangan ko cakap lagi! aku trauma!! trauma!!!

Is-my-hai : napa? napa? cerita la...

Fucker : awek aku nak break up :(

Is-my-hai : napa? kau tak leh naik ke?

Fucker : hoi!! tak lah!! Dia ada skandal dengan orang lain..

Is-my-hai : siapa dia berskandal? sapa? sapa?

Fucker : entah pengkid mana, nama Siti Rahman-y ... aarghhh gila babi marah aku di buat nya!!
apa dia ingat aku tak dapat naik? atau Rahman-y tu ada batang berjuntai ke??? aku marah!!!

Is-my-hai : takpe takpe, jangan marah... pengkid pengkid tu memang melampau!! nak cuba tumbuh batang ye? ok, takpe... esok kita kuarkan fat-war dengan diaorang..

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----

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Dear pengkids,

So soohray... deep sympathy that u guys/ girls / guys gotta go thru this.. since the Big Poop says we the babis are not supposed to raise sentiment, i dun intend to anyway... :)
Just hoping that if u guys/ girls / guys wanna be a pengkid, BUAT BETUL BETUL !! At least when i spot a good looking one, i can flirt around.. :)
In the mean time i will just sit on the fence and laugh at the commotion....

BODOH GILA BABI

BeerLAO here i come!!!

Sa-bai-dee !!!
Me no Lao, me Chinese, me from Malaysia.
Me speak Lao?? No! No! Me no Lao!!!

And so I arrived in Lao PDR the land where People Dont Rush, got it??

I have seriously not been to any of the ASEAN countries apart from getting stuck in the metropolitan KL. I've been to Singapore for the annual Singapore sales to load on Charles and Keith shoes.. Never even been to Kelantan or terengganu.. Heard the food is guarded by flies eh? :S
Ya, the villag-ey lifestyle is never something I had in mind.. Since small I vow not to be in such form of poverty.. Soohrayyy!!! Not the kinda lifestyle i want to have.. U__U i m a city freak..

Well humbly said ; i was never born rich.. we aint extreme poor though.. we hav enough food too throw in the mouth, we can also afford air conditoned eating place.. but I vow to be in better condition than what we have now.. so the image of villag-ey is always outta my sight.. anyway, I have never learn to appreciate the greens.. i love concretes :)

But all Lao have to offer this sexy bitch are :

Wats (temples)

Wats ...

and more wats...

filled with underaged novices

YOu alse better make sure you do what Johnnie do best...

TO KEEP ON WALKING

and more walking

cus there is almost no air conditioned vehicle on the road!!

In Lao, everywhere u go, u can see the significant Mekong River... literally, physically, mentally everywhere....

Mekong in Luang Prabang

Mekong in Luang Prabang again

Mekong in Vang Vieng
Mekong in Vientiane

And a liquid donor to the Mekong River :)

To non-alco visitors, please dont go to Lao and not be able to contribute to their economy by drining loads of BeerLao.. there is no reason not to have a splash of BeerLao which is incredibly cheap and smooth to gulp...

I think that is the staple for all tourist.. everywhere u go, there is beerLao, and its equally as affordable compared to a fruit shake. A big bottle cost ya only 10,000 kip and a fruit shake is about 8,000 kip. 1 USD = 8500 kip, u go figure..

everywhere!!

Why I Need To Marry a Rich Guy

A very concrete reason indeed :- I have permanent disability to tidy up anything, everything, anytime! I need a maid. I need someone who can afford me a maid. Nuff said??

THE VERY FIRST

Nope, 2008 did not mark the beginning of anything significant.
I am still happily left in the singledom.
I am also left to survive in this cruel society with a normal income that is not gonna make me afford a Coach without not feeling a big slit on the wrist.
I am still wearing the black skirt i got for mslef since ... Sixth Form.
My circle of friends do not seem to widen exponentially.

But I did manage to have did some stuff that I most probably would have died without not attempting..

I started hiking :)
The very first time in FRIM
A group of people of many faeces / face / faces
Convention of a multi-faceted group to conquer Bukit Tabur
Mission accomplished.

Then I started an odyssey to a land of arts I always have wanted to be in - the merry land of indian classical dance..
I am a slow learner that I have to draw every details, even the opening prayers.. U__U

The desire to do it have been around since I am 16. So yeah, now i can die with at least one wish fulfilled. Hopefully you can see me perform before I lay to rest.

I did a marathon(s)



and another few mores.. it wasnt an easy journey, especially for someone who is more prone to eat and drink than lead a healthy lifestyle, but happy to announce i am still surviving :)

I watched a movie !!

Considering I was never a fan and no one can really coax me to sit still in a cinema, I actually watched a movie!! OK, maybe 2. The first one being that horribly massive pig slain scenario 3 Kingdom thingy starring Andy Lau. I am sure its a good movie, but thats also one reason why I dont really enjoy the thrill watching anythign in the cinema.. When there is any killing scenes, the blood splashed so hard on my face i felt traumatized! Anyway, 3 Kingdom was sponsored by a friend though I knowingly am hesitant to go and waste my time in making Andy Lau another RM8 richer by supporting his movie.




I attended a theater play!!

I am a typical ah-lian wut.. where got Ah Lian attend theatrical play unless its gonna be starred by Jorin Ka-na-Tsai or the likes.. BUT i actually attended one explicit one and shall continue this artistic journey of mine .. looking forward to many more which is as explicit as After Ours :)

I sang in Karaoke!!!

being a salesperson, karaoke is a mandatory.. and yes, i have beent to one for not too many few times.. for the purpose of keeping angry customers at bay.. BUT BUT BUT
this time --- I actually SANG!!! I SANG-ed !!! I held on to a MICROPHONE !!





Then I backpacked to Lao PDR !


There's actually more to it.. but keep talking about it makes me realise how much hard-earned money I have spent on every single activities.. So we shall pause hre at the moment..

Despite the awesomely great time I had doing all the above there are strings of event which does not deserve any mention.. maybe its best to sleep over the not-too-pleasant ones and keep hoping for a better week ahead... sigh.. i hate waking up to realms of life.. U___U

WHOSE FEET IS THAT?

-NB stepped into tuk tuk. tuk tuk driver does not appeal in the photo. camera got the leg instead, with NB shoes and socks -



- that's what happen when you rush over to the front immediately when hearing people yell out something that sounds like 'FREE! ' -


- take of NB and wtf -- u got a bad feet not worth a pose. blister due to cheap slippers. blue back little toe due to marathon -



- disgusting squid ink toe, wtf -



yeah!!! i am the owner of the disgusting piece of lamb shank ... :D