Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Ma's Day as they put it..

I have never really liked her. Not that I hate her, I just have very little emotion towards her.
She spits out food bits in the car, and said I am snobbish to tell her off. It's my new car!! She spits food at the restaurant while waiting for the bill. I guess she will only know how rude it is when one day she walk pass a table and people spits on her.
She expresses nosy expression towards what people next table does and says. Yet she will never say a word of bad about her ruined son. Drug, whores, ecstasy, name it, his son would have done it. But I know words about me being rude to her have gotten around for some time. But I really do not care, because she did not really make much impression on me.. neither are those people whom she bitches about me.
She bitches about how other people's daughter is a spinster and not being able to get attached. She obviously have forgotten, she TOO have one at home. And maybe her constant bitching have thrown in some bad karma to the daughter who is now to suffer from the consequences of her remarks about others.
She also make sure she let those close to her knows how little did the daughter ( read : daughter, not son) did not do much to the household and her. But no comments made on the son whose only skills is to siphon money from her to feed his drug addiction once upon a time and still now constantly requires her to help him reload his prepaid phone.. But she forgot to mention she gets a monthly allowance equivalent to a clerk's salary and free transportation home from her workplace to home which takes more than 30 minutes at least from the daughter whom she has / have / had?
Communication was rare.. I no longer see a point most of the time. I said I am goin overseas, she nags about possibility of involving into narcotics issue in the airport. I informed on goin to the beach, she nags about getting drowned. I informed on goin out with friends at nite, she nags about being conned by men or stuff I barely remember. I told her I want to eat hot plate me, she told me I will get cancer from that.. I have 1001 more situation that I can relate to.. but let's not create such bad impression...
After all it's mothers' day today.. Adn she deserve an applause to have created a 'something' that she can use to nag on, bitch about and rely on at the end of the day..
Mothers' day is not just a day to celebrate the mothers, but also the accompanying daughters who need to have high tolerance level to go thru their mom's aging behaviour.. and not giving up. Of course then there are bouts of angst displayed, with some rude statement utterred sometimes, but it's all love :)
I am sure one day I will die with regret for not being able to be the best caretaker of aging parents.. which I tried and failed miserably, but I still endured. I knew the responsibility piled on me despite hating how things do not go as per my visualisation of a perfect situation.. I don't think i can do much changes to the situation or to myself to make it a better environment. I am after all an egoist and unless I am convinced that my visual are not realistic to be achieved, I will not spare a moment of backing up from my point of view...
I guess for many more years, I will have to endure the hatred scene of having someone spit food pieces in my car.... hmmph..
Happy mothers' and daughters' day ( see how ego I can be?)

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what u are talking about:( But i think its a Asian mother phenomenon, no?

    -Siva

    ReplyDelete

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