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Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bila Minda Ku Mula Berbicara

Kalau nak di banding, sememangnya saya bukanlah antara yang rakyat yang ada semangat patriotik. Sebolehnya, impian ku hendak bertapak di Negara  Laos dan tidak pulang ke tanah tumpah darah dan peluh ku ini.

Benci aku tengok jalan yang sesak sentiasa.. Benci aku tengok kerani lembab di kaunter-kaunter pendaftaran. Benci aku bila terpaksa berhadapan dengan mereka mereka yang kurang kompeten dan mengucap serta melaungkan keluhan bila hujah yang mereka cuba sampaikan tidak kesampaian. Benci lagi aku bila terpaksa berhadapan dengan mereka yang tidak sewawasan semasa bekerja. Kalau boleh, hendak aku kisar mereka dan tuangkan saja jus kisaran ke dalam longkang.

Benci aku bila membaca bahasa kebangsaan yang di tercemar dengan penggunaan tatabahasa yang salah dan kata singkatan yang terlampau tidak dapat di fahami. Bukanlah hendak di katakan pemahaman bahasa ku yang begitu jitu dan persis ini tiada tandingannya...

Bahasa ke html yang tak terproses?

Benci lagi bila aku kekadang terpaksa berhentikan kereta untuk pemeriksaan polis dan di beri sebab-sebab yang tidak dapat aku fahami yang berkisar tentang bagaimana isu-isu yang mungkin telah aku timbulkan itu dapat di tangani dengan sedikit duit kopi.. Tahulah aku cantik.. tapi itu bukan sebab yang munasabah tahu! =P

Menuduh aku racist memang bukan suatu tuduhan yang munasabah sekiranya anda terasa bagai di perli bila membaca luahan ku. Kenapa aku bukan racist? Tengok saja kepetahan ku berbicara!! Boleh mengalahkan bonda di kampung! Koleksi baju kurung ku bukan main hebat. Koleksi sari ku sememangnya mengalahkan Jalan Masjid India. Sekejap! Mungkin aku racist... Aku benci tarian naga Cina yang bergolek-golek atas lantai O.o

Mungkin aku seorang insan yang INDIVIDUALISTIK. Kalau boleh jangan di ganggu hidup aku. Berperang lah kamu. Saling bunuh membunuhlah kamu. Saya tidak kisah. Asalkan jangan kacau hidup aku. Aku sememangnya tak kisah. Janji aku tak rugi.

Mungkin itu suatu persepsi yang salah. Walaupun aku taklah semuda mana lagi, tapi rasanya masih lagi mampu bergelar belia yang bakal melapisi negara dan menyumbang keada anjakan paradigma negara.
Maaflah kerna aku tidak mampu dan tidak ada wawasan untuk berbuat demikian. Kemungkinan besar jasaku takkan di kenang pun. Tapi tidak apa. kerana sememangnya falsafah hidupku hanyalah satu : jauhkan emosi dari hidup. Janji hujung bulan, profesion ku memberikan pulangan gaji dan hidupku di teruskan.

Isunya sekarangnya... falsafahku sentiasa tergendala. Di sebabkan kegusaran yang timbul setiap kali berita berkenaan perjuangan antara mereka yang cintakan negara dengan mereka yang meng-komersialkan negara untuk tujuan masing-masing yang tidak aku peduli sangat pun.
Bukannya aku gusarkan apa.. Hidup di kota metropolis ni, dua isu sahaja yang sentiasa berlegar di minda : bilalah jalan tak sesak ni. Dan satu lagi : takunya beg ku kena sambar / anak ku kena rogol.

Buat masa ini, saya pilih isu pertama : macam mana aku nak pergi appointment kalau ada road-block macam marathon ni!? Ni mesti jalan sesak lagi....   ;(


Disclaimer :
Luahan di atas hanyalah luahan semata-mata yang tidak berbaurkan politik, agama mahupun budaya. 
Kemungkinan besar penulis menghadapi sindrom kemurungan dan tahap Satu dan sindrom syok sendiri tahap kronik bila memikirkan bagaimana keadaan jalan di pagi esok.





Sunday, July 3, 2011

Om Shanti..


If you do not know by now, I am a big fan of Indian Classical Dance. I am scared of the Chinese Lion Dance however..
I have started watching Tamil movie since Standard One and the first movie that I could remember was Anjali. And after that there were many session of Kamal Hassan and Rajnikanth to follow each week. I still remember that my primary school bus driver look like a plumper version of Rajnikanth ;)

And so I have kept this desire to learn Indian classical dance since I was in Form 3. before that I do have the vision too, just that I am too confined in a Chinese community that I don't think I have a sane mind when I have vision of doing the dance from the neighbouring culture ;)

And so after much hassle, I finally started realising dream when I was about 28 years old or so. When I met up with some random stranger (who is now friend - Malathy!)in facebook via some random friend and was introduced to the beautiful world of Indian Classical Dance. And so I pursued the dance from Orissa, the Odissi :)

I must admit my hand and feet coordination isn't one of the best, hence i am pretty slow in catching up. I had the same jittery issue when I started salsa and was doing it for almost 2 years and still jittery.
But then salsa is merely a fun thing to do. Things that I wanted to do for the sake of doing. But it's different with the Indian Classical Dance. I am sure there is a reason why my vision of doing it did not die down after I have been nestling it since Form 3. Hence I pursued till my work killed my time...

As at now, I must have stopped for a year. And every time I attended any Indian Classical Dance Show, it's like an almost crying session because  I would always imagine if I were to pursue when I was way younger, today I could have been out of the corporate world and dance into the artistic world =D Or perhaps, I could one day perform!!! Which dancers wouldn't want to perform? But oh well, I still suspect I am suffering from some hand and foot mis-co-ordinated syndrome ;(

After much hesitation on what to do next, and after another failed attempt to register in Sutra, I think I may want to continue my dream of being Aishwarya Rai  in doing the classical dance again. Because it hasn't really died down on me. Only that I have way too much thing to do in between life which leads to the neglecting of it.. Now I am giving another attempt to it :)

If you too are inquisitive about what is it and are always curious to explore this beautiful, artistic world of Indian Classical dance..look no further and give it a try with the Madhura Academy.. yeah, that's wher I used to go.. And I am going again soon ;)





Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What I See


Tumblr is great! t's like a platform for people who have been traumatised and suddenly they get creative with loads of inspiring statements that really is interesting. 
yea, you give me shit, i give you pee

and just so you know, my willingness to go out for dinner with you does not mean I wanna be your girlfriend =P

and you can also tell I'm bored with you when you no longer hear from me ;)

In Chinese, I think we call it 'thu-lan'
No work, no commision lor... as easy as that..


and most of the time I don't behave like a cow -I don't  regurgitate

because I always take away my food.. sigh... ;(

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Why? What Why?

I desperately need to make more sales while the iron is hot
Because the financial year end is coming..
And I remember the reminder to work the ass off before the financial year ends.
I need the sales
Because I felt like the rest of the 12 people down there harps on me for better wages
And I have the burden to be able to provide
I need sales
Because I heard if one do well in sales, they get their additional incentives
And momma looks like she needs a new juicer.
It aint easy to juice 12 orange manually ;(
My make up are sponsored, my accessories are sponsored, and sometimes my meals too are sponsored.
I need sales if i want to be able to afford things un-sponsored
I simply need sales
Because that is my job designation
And I need no more counselling
To be reminded that I need more sales
Because it makes me sad to know I can't do justice to what have been rewarded to me
It makes me feel like dying
Hence I need the sales...

I hate sales
But I know I need sales
Its a complicated love-hate relationship that I have developed
I pursued with no hatred, just grudges sometimes
But I know it is a joy when sales are achieved
I know I am of no good
Neither here nor there, this or that

I don't know
Maybe I am good
But I think I am no good
I wish I was good
I wish I can see how good I am
But maybe I am just not that good after all
I don't know
Because I follow suit all that is given
That I no longer know if I am good or of no good
But in general I assume you deduce I am of no good

I broke down
Not because I a tired of facing slugs in the cubicles where I am seated
I broke down
Not because I cannot cope with things that are going on
I broke down
Not because I am not able to handle situation
I broke down
Because I am not able to learn from a situation
But on another note,
I could have broken down
Simply because I am just not as good

My words do not correlate with my heart
I know
My mind do not correlate with my hands
I know too
I no longer find correlation in me
Perhaps that explains why it took me so long to get acquainted with my classical dance steps
perhaps I am just fickle
Or perhaps I should just keep it shut

Whatever sorrow that comes
When the cow comes mooing
and when the cowboys come home
I know
That tomorrow is a another day
To face, to live while hoping I can drown my sorrow
By being a better person ;(



On a lighter note, I hope the people from Gardenia do google and notice that I have been junking eating healthily on all sorts of Gardenia buns in the Shell petrol station everywhere around town. As of today, I've had the whole Gardenia range for breakfast, lunch and almost-dinner to curb my hunger pangs and to put a control in the financial strain I've been having.
It would be great if Gardenia Incorporated would consider in sponsoring me a year intake of all sorts of Gardenia buns. That would ease my fodd funding pretty much. In return, I could do you a review in this humble little blog? Yes, I need sponsored meals. Pretty please... ;(

Saturday, June 18, 2011

I AM THAT GIRL

I've been ooozing with the need to type, type, type of late. It's like I need to do a lot of things to get myself busy. not to say I am not busy, because work was like hell busy, but I felt like I need to do more to feed the soul after the weeping scenario ;)

And I have V-tjen to thank for making me her guinea pig for her Uni assignment in creating an Audience Dossier thing (which I have no idea what is it till now). But I got this from her ;)

Ahhh, if only this is real and is part of the feature in The Star =P
Nevertheless, love it much despite just being an assignment! <3

Miss Pung is back on the blogging mode and thinks that I should follow suit to talk about - I Am That Girl.
Yes, that particular girl whom you know very well and have grown accustomed to since the day you know how to nibble on your own fingers while drooling.


I am that girl who have ego 12 times the size of the bra cup, simply because I sometimes think I am better than you.
I am also the girl who always lost in the battle of perfection at work, in relationship, in life, because I think too much
I am that girl who vow not to pay my credit card debts in full.. because I am still hoping that the world will end soon.
I am that girl whom you think you have known and can grow find of. Till the day when I no longer want to be with you. Simply because my benchmark grew..
I am that girl who can talk if initiated, makes faces if need to, but not sing, even if provoked.
I am that girl who have so much hate in mind, because I could have chosen a wrong path..
But I am also that girl who will walk on the same path despite a wrong one, as long as I can withstand
Because I know the path doesnt' just belong to me..
I am that girl who learn to let go, let pass and let off
If I felt that you feel is best to let go, let off, let past..
I am that girl with short attention span, long constant nag..
I can't help it, I am fickle, undecisive hence insecure
I am that girl who may bring you joy, tho most time it will be misery, if you make me felt like shit...
I am that girl, who loves her friends first, then job.. and the rest follow
I am that girl, who needs only self declaration that I AM HOT. What you think doesn't matter. Because you are just envious. That you are not that girl =P
I am that girl who need more than attention. Yes, I need to be fed. With emotion, love and food..
I am that girl who have no shame to tell you my boobs are flat, my feet smells and there is a dead lizard under the sheet. I couldn't care less of what you think. Unless you are the Prince of Zibai-land who will marry me off, throw me daisies on the floor and feed me a daily serving of mojito..
It is also obvious that I am that girl who have no qualms to tell you that you in Crocs make you look like a defnite shit-arse, that I am too good for you and that you are of no good for anything
I am that girl who cannot stand the sight of not being able to be in control
But I am also that girl who cant control the emotion when I see elderly  having to serve the balance of their life staring at the sky, waiting for the public transport, to go to the city, to try and still earn a living.. I felt like shit :(
I am also that girl who is blessed to have great friends, great boss though sometimes...lazy staff, control-freak freinds comes into the scene.
But whatever it is.. I am that girl - who never fail to hope for a better tomorrow despite failure after failure. 
Simply because I am just a girl who wants to have fun. I think O.o

I am that girl who can sleep on it, only to wake up in sorrow and life still goes on

Yes, I hope so too ;)
And soon, I will sing. When I know how to make some acoustic sounds..



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