Going The Other Way

In a few months time. I will most probably be very consistent in updating my blog and also YourShoppingKaki.
Till today, I cannot imagine what will life be then after putting this decision to act. I am worried, while slightly positive that things we be okay.

I love my current job. Despite the challenges, the less than structured work-flow, the people who have so little passion towards developing to a greater organisation, but merely want a good take-home pay, I still love my job in a peculiar way. Yeah, I supposed I love the sensation of being under pressure and being in control and being part of the decision making process. I like the thought of having my decisons, opinions and feedback taken into consideration. OK, I am bossy. And I can afford to be one here... O.o

I think everyone can see it how I have been lacking this year.My thoughts too have changed and my motivation lost. In a lot of my previous post, anger is what seems to be cornering me. I failed to understand that sometimes we just cannot control what comes into a situation. And I guess i have failed to blend myself to eat up the outcvome for each situation. Yes, I cannot and I hate failing. I cannot eat the fact up that my thoughts are not taken into consideration just because somebody else have a higher title and I ought to eat the shit below them. It's very depressing. I don't know how some people deal with it. I just cannot bend myself down and eat the shit. It is like you are being sexually harassed and are forced to eat up the truth in order to stay put to your job.

I didn't get harassed or anything. In most cases, the harassment comes from me as I cannot tolerate the fact that I have to get things done in a stupid manner in order to COMPLY. So yeah, I could be an egoistic person. But I vouch to stand up for what's right and what's best for an organisation.

Over time, I have come on terms with going on with the flow. Doing whatever needed to survive and I think it's not bad a progress for someone with an ego harder than a rock. But all this have given me a very weak heart. I am losing passion at work. Because I am now like any other ladies in the neighbourhood who only wanted a pay cheque at the end of the month.

I lost my direction and I lost my drive and leadership. I am slowly becoming one who waits for lunch and later on clocking off time.

So yeah, I have made up my mind to end this.
Soon.

People have been advising me not to take such abrupt decision as times are bad.
Except those who are very close to me  agrees to the fact that I can do a lot better on my own or that I deserve somewhere else who will appreciate my effort and skills.

There is no right or wrong to a decision. This I have come to term. I will just have to make the extra effort to make it right to my thoughts/

Wish me luck.