It’s amazing how something quite mundane can turn into a deeper lesson. This is what I experienced just last weekend.
The Media Team in my church and I went to Malaysian Bible Seminary in Rawang, Selangor. We were divided into the male dorm and female dorm. For both dorms, there were double-decker beds, placed side by side.
When it came to the time to check in our bags into the room, I was one of the first to be queeing up. I didn’t have much of a game plan or idea which bed I wanted to choose, just that it would be the one on the bottom and not one on the top, as I was afraid of heights and would have difficulty sleeping at the top.
The benefits of being one the early birds is that I can choose which bed to sleep in. When I was in the dorm, I also considered the temperature, which is related to where the air con is situated, as I don’t want to be frozen during the night. Therefore, I chose a place that was sorta a distance away from the nearby air-con. Additionally it was quite close to the door, as I thought it would be more convenient.
However, I realized my mistake a short while later on that night. After our sessions, we came back to the dorm, bathed and as I switched off the lights and prepared to sleep, I saw that since my bed was sorta beside the door, and the door did not have curtain covering it, there were quite a lot of white light from the outside that fell on my bed.
Oh no!! What can I do now? Most of the other girls was already in their beds, and have fallen asleep. I looked around and saw that all the bottom beds were occupied. So I decided to change to another bed, but sleep where I was. Even though I brought blinkers to cover my eyes, the light was very disturbing to me, and made it difficult for me to fall asleep, even when I turn to face the opposite side.
After twisting and turning for a while, I finally fell asleep. But unfortunately I did not get a very good rest, as i had interrupted sleep. I was awakened a couple of times during the night, changed my body position, went back to sleep. This cycle was repeated a few times. When the alarm rang in the morning, it wasn’t that difficult for me to get up, since I wasn’t in deep sleep. So I got up, washed my face, had a super quick cold shower to help me wake up and got ready for the activities for that day.
As I was sharing this experience to some of my other friends there, it came to me that it was like an allegory. Like the phrase, “You have made your bed, so you have to lie on it”. In my case it’s more of “You have chosen your bed, so you have to lie on it.” I have no one to blame but myself. This can be applied torelationships, specifically choosing a partner, in my case choosing a husband.
If I choose foolishly, like in my earlier case with choosing the bed without considering an important factor which is LIGHT, then I would have to pay the price for it. Similarly if I choose a husband foolishly, I would have to bear the negative consequences of it. The difference would be I would not only suffer one night, but for a long time.
Conversely, if I choose wisely, then I would have a comfortable bed and good sleep. In the context of relationships, there would be positive consequences such as less conflict, higher satisfaction in the marriage.
Later as I thought about it, this question came to mind, “As a photographer (serving in this area in Media ministry in church), how can I forget such a important aspect such as LIGHT?” Very likely because I was thinking of taking photos at that time, but focusing on choosing a bed. Plus, this was the first time for me to sleep in a dorm. Okay, so I do have some excuse / reasons...
In choosing to step into a relationship, I must say the theory that applies to the above revelation, most of the time are hard to adhere by. Simply because the 'item' that we deal with in a relationship have more substance than a bed covered in Freeman quilt made of 100% cotton.
If I can choose correctly, I would not be at where I am now. And so are those of you who are most probably sobering over some emotional bruises over relationship.
There could be many factors in determining your favoured partner..
Yah, so everyone wants a good looking until you can't stop wetting yourself over him, owns 3 Continental cars, our of which you get to choose one to drive, own a property in the prime land of Bangsar, must be filial to your parents so that your burden are eased off in taking care of your own parents, a good husband to satisfy your sexual need and a good father in case your kids come out cuckoo and hyperactive.
And a guy would most probably steer towards a petite lass who loves wearing floral and not a pixie cut hairstyle girl, a girl who can smooch and have long hair, with melodious voice and enjoy eating salad and sandwiches.
There are so much preference in every individual. So much so that even the advancement of Facebook sometimes can't help you much if you refuse to budge from your list of criteria.
How do we define if it is a right choice or a wrong step taken? The problem with a PC is that after some time, it grow old and slow. The problem with a calendar is that at the end of the year, it expires and you require a new one. The problem with human that comes with a barrel of feeling and emotions are that they are easily altered under many circumstances, situations and conditions.
You can re-format a PC, and it will never ditch you if you can manage it properly. As in you gotta do your own back up la before you re-format. You can opt to throw away the calendar of cut the nice pictures for scrapbooking and dispose the rest. But you can never re-format a person. Or send a bomoh to do the job. Or cut into pieces and keep those that you want.
When it came to the time to check in our bags into the room, I was one of the first to be queeing up. I didn’t have much of a game plan or idea which bed I wanted to choose, just that it would be the one on the bottom and not one on the top, as I was afraid of heights and would have difficulty sleeping at the top.
When you walk into a relationship, if you have your list of 10 Commandments then congrats, because you know what you wanted and the probability of getting what you want is almost NIL and only YOU yourself know better. But relationship is not a strategy game. If only it is as easy as marking on a Gantt chart on how you can fare well, there won't be losers out there sulking for god sake. In an instance when you want to have a pretty faced guy / girl to be the other half, because you think your pimpled-zone face cannot stand the other half not being too good for you.. then you could most probably be masturbating for a while before it materialise. To be fair, there are some lucky ones of course, but not ALL.
The benefits of being one the early birds is that I can choose which bed to sleep in. When I was in the dorm, I also considered the temperature, which is related to where the air con is situated, as I don’t want to be frozen during the night. Therefore, I chose a place that was sorta a distance away from the nearby air-con. Additionally it was quite close to the door, as I thought it would be more convenient.
In the event of a relationship, early bird entry, coupons and such doesn't count much. You may give in early sex. Still don't count. yeah, that's how the world goes. Go jump if you can't accept it. There simply is no guarantee. You just need to banyak doa. Which is again no guarantee..
(to be continued....)
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