Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

CONFESSION FROM A LOSING END..

I love to write. I enjoy the time spent on penning down thoughts.
As much as i hate making this a plaform of frust-vending, or shrieking in disgust to my friends who may not mind to listen to my horrible stories of pathetic life, I really do not have much of a choice. before may hand slip off and get hold of a molotov and shove it at someone.

And the chances of me getting caught again for bitching is probably 75%. Yeah, I calculated the risk despite the fact that the blog name have been changed. IP address still same mah...

Then again, I am not allowed to carry a sunken-blacken-chicken face in reality. At least let me do it here!!!

Many a times, i sat and ponder, where did i go wrong. I really did think hard. I made some comparison. I really do. Then I try to relate how I can go wrong. Tho i dun get it, i pretend to be wrong at situation where I am not in the wrong side of it.

Along the journey I have learnt so much to let it be. I have understand the demeaning factor of not to be bothered despite earthquake from the neighbour. Then at times, the small faction of emotion and displeasure just didnt do much to help me ignore the catastrophe of surrounding.

Ma just came back from the numerologist's place. I was told next year, nothing will go well with me. That I should do more charity. REALLY do more charity. Like go donate rice to the orphanage, give money to the old folks home.
It did struck my mind why is it not karmic enough when I loaned 1000 bucks to someone who need help and he is nowhere to be seen.
That I loaned another 250 bucks to a divorcee so she can pay her car instalment and she went missing.
That I constantly buy stuff for the Indon worker so he will hav more food for dinner than packing an egg to be boiled and heated alon the rice in the rice cooker.
That I never fail to do most of my frens a favour as and when requested.
That I do not really claim excessively and sometimes forgo expenses I've spent for work.
That is not marmic enough?? Fine !! :(

Somehow the devil in me seems to grow at drastic rate than the karmic side of me. I am quite sure I will go straight to hell with all the swearing I've made. All the curse. I hope the written ones here will not be considered as curse, cus it didnt come out from my mouth. No?

But I know I am not gonna go to hell on my own. Despite my bad mouthing and cruel writing, I am certain there is someone else who will head the same path as I do. Cus they are just born with .....

This is about all the bad things U did? Or about your lack of common sense. . Well, you have always been outstanding with your lack of common sense. At least to me, that's how I distinguish u.

I am beginning to understand why most of the people who survive in the rat race somehow or rather do not really require much academic skills or integrity. All they need is a heart crude enough to cast a virtually pleasant facade despite the rotting faeces in between. And it's usually people of such genus who will survive well in the rat race.
Wait, where is this post heading to...

My day was never bad. Till U decide to come and ruin it up for me.
Do not blame me if you have impaired vision, impaired mental complexity to get to know the differences of Invoice, Develiry (yes, that's how u pronounce Delivery, case u cant recall) Order, Purchase Order.

As far as I am concerned, suppliers are issued Purchase order and not Invoice. And purchasee are issued Develiry order, not Develiry Order to Supplier. Invoices are to people who buy your stuff, not people who try to sell you stuff .. u got it boh???

And oohhh!!! U sure wont have guessed this!! Someone called the lady whom u threatened to fire, whom u have bitched about in outrageous complexity to the paymaster. And she is now sitting at home jobless and she did not really blame you for yelling at her and asking her to resign. I think she have got a blessing thru all this. At least she does not have to go thru your stupidity in senses and take order from someone who cant seem to be able to derive the meaning of running numbers in documents..

And also all the previous cases which causes a lot of stress in human resources.. thanks to you.. I now realised its not really me.. its just how u deal with it.. but as long as u r happy, I am fine..

Which reminds me... u really have agitated me by pretending that you do not know that u are creating a new sheet of invoice. When I so remembered i uttered these : This is a quote, and this is the old invoice. Can you re-do this invoice based on my quote and follow the same format of the invoice HERE?
U did not ask if it's a revise / new / or i- simply- ask -u- to- do- to- fill -up -ur- time invoice. And did it not occur to you that both the items from the quote and the old invoice is the same? EACTLY same but differ in quantity? And did u not realised that the client is a first timer? FIRST TIMER? and there have been so much hoo-haas on getting the client tat everyone know this is THE FIRST ORDER? PESANAN BARANG KALI PERTAMA??
So very first that not even the goods from the order have been out.

NOPE!! I do not know what's in your dumphuck mind. I really have no idea. I may be sexually deprived that I may have irregular disorder in rationale. But I am sure u r not sexually deprived rite????????????????
So why do u even say u do not know what is the freaking document for and u simply do it??
(I swear I so want to swear at your dumphuck innocent-looking expression) Only to leave a big yell at my face from the paymaster??

Ohh... and your 10 mins of equiries to the 4 telcos company operator of the same telco company who did not get what u are trying to relate and ai have to reach the phone 4 times to assist you in -- nope, it does not prove I am better than you. it just prove that you ... you go figure.. maybe its not u.. its just that ALL 4 of the operators are just dumphuck (like u) :S

U have master your skills of diverting the worst for others that I do not even feel a need to defend my sane self. .. Thanks to you I have learn to be a performer who accepts all.. Shout if u all need to.. Throw stuff on my desk if there is a dire to do so..

I AM SO TIRED OF U PEOPLE, THAT ITS NO LONGER HILARIOUS!!!!!

People of the same mind flock together.. that's what people always say.
And I do not wish to be flocking with the rest of you..

I felt hilarious. I felt ridiculous. I felt immaculately insane!!!
But I know the path only have 2 roads... and definitely we do ot walk the same path..
neither do I want to be holding your hands and walking towards hell..

I would like to end this by still pondering what could I have done wrong. I sort of figured these out :-

-I have bad managerial skills I am not able to produce good staff.
-I have OCD in dealing with matters/ issues / people/ environment
-I am not qualified to even be on par with the rest of you productive people
-My sales is so bad I dont think I deserve a say in any aspect ( yup, I hav stopped saying anything)
- I M REALLY NO GOOD IN MY JOB I SHUD REALLY OPT TO SURRENDER.


Sigh.

And I would like to present you a Darwin Award :)
I figure u deserve one of it based on your story here

Darwin nominee : Ah moi, is this roll of paper here 7meter?
(holding a bag with a roll of paper labelled with a sticker that reads - 7 METER
of paper)

Ah moi : Well, what do u see on the label?
Darwin nominees : It says here 7meter of paper.
Ah moi : well, then have u figured out if that ROLL is
7meter?? -______-
And u have officially got yourself an award.
Dear Award Winner,

SAYA MEMANG SUDAH KETIH DAN TAK BERMAYA NAK LAYAN KERENAH U.
KENAPA? KENAPA SAYA????
AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








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