A New Job Perhaps

This is the week that I most probbaly felt the highest surge of desire to actually start looking for a job - I logged onto Jobstreet for the first time. Not to advertise for vacancy for the company I am currently attached to. But to browse on jobs that I think I can perhaps give a try. Finally.

Previous stint in the batik factory full of faggots was a real nightmare that ended on time before 2012 hits. I practically released a big heavy clog of breath which I have kept for the past 6 or 7 years. I can't say that nothing was learnt. Because I learnt a lot. And I am much wiser. And I got back a life which alot more options to steer.

My only problem now - I am too free for what I have been paid for >.<
Most probably an understatement. But I am seriously feeling a bit lacking in leadership, in vision and in energy. Because I had way too much freedom. Such is what freedom can do to break one's life ;/

It is pretty sad to see that my vision was not shared among peers. I finally have to bow to the saying that 'You can't teach a china man to eat scone. Cus he's been eating char siew pau since forever'

I have an option to join them if I can't lead them. But I do not wish to think that such principle shall apply in situation I am in now.

Given more lease of freedom to me, I think I can do much more than what I am doing now. Visually hoping to steer the organisation to a greater height than where it is now. But that would mean I need to start firing those who doesn't understand the corporate trade. And that means firing all of them. Maybe that's not an option :(

If you can't change, shall you leave? This is not politic, where you turn to be an Opposition and fight till the end. Because there really isn't much to fight for. But for a better prospect for ownself.

Dilemma dilemma...

On another note, I managed to tidy up stacks of books and magazines in the room and stashed alot of it.
Fatty may not be pleased to come visit and see that I have a room full of arhives of magazines dated since 2008. Guess what have I thrown - Fashion magazines & SME Business magazines?

I threw away all the batik magazines, those fashion magazines, pretiges, Madam Chair and all!!
And I kept all the SME magazines :)

I guess I have always knew what I really love. Despite so many years in fashion and still blogs about fashion, fashion is just fashion. It's like how you like wearing pretty clothes and pretty make up and the hippest heels, and it's just fashion. Not passion. You love donning yourself in those fashionable gear but that's just it! You feel good,. you look good.. And nothing beyond that :/
Okok, I guess I am trying to say that I miss doing sales and marketing job. Meeting people, giving powerful negotiation talks, brainstorming, getting inputs and all :(

I seriously need a new, challenging job!! :/