Merry New Year..

Are you looking forward to a new year?

It is in less than a day time drom now. Nah, I don't mean looking forward to fireworks and counting down in a club with 1204 people that you do not know and another 5 person whom you don't really have much in common sitting at the same table.

2011 was just another year. Nothing great to boast. Perhaps, because 10 months of it were spent on work. And that included another 6 years previously which was also spent on doing the same thing in a redundant manner. Over and over and over again...

So glad I escaped!

I grew of course. Besides the horizontal growth which I am trying to curb, I grew alot in character and personal development. After much time spent slaving off my youth in exchange of working experience, I may have lost a lot of personal time, friends and moments, regret was never in the book. I choose to believe I could have learnt something each day in that narcissistic condition of work. Although my friends and colleagues and even clients around me do not agree with my stubborn philosophy and always wonder how I manage to survive. 

I learnt to be humble and eat in hurry during busy days - just like any other sales people

As everyone stashes my job, I keep defending it and telling them I am all good doing what I LOVE to do. Pfffttt .. Perhaps I do love what I do if seen from another angle. I have established great clients who  are now my friends ( I think my English have degraded recently as I have difficulty determining when to use is,are, was, were..). And despite me being in a different industry, the kind gesture of asking me to submit a corporate profile of what I do now to their organisation was such sweet gesture <3 <3 from people who once gives you money to fund your boss and still try to give you money now to fund whatever...

Now, I seldom reveal what I do. Because it is kinda complicated ( as I want to conquer the world) Time have been hard for the past few months as I am running short of moolah! The frequency of eating in a Chinese foodcourt increases and I think visiting BSC is now considered a luxury thing to do :S
Funny eh? Despite the shortage of moolah and yet the refusal to cook and eat at home - I don't know how to cook, hence even more wastage when attempting ler....

Now.. I have more time. A great boss who listens and let me wave my wand anywhere, anyhow, as long as I wave towards all the goodness and do not drain his pocket. I also have a group of very nice boys and foreign labours included.. who do not mind to vacuum the office when they are back from site after 6pm. Who also collect rubbish from all bins to dispose. Who mops the staircase to the office. And in return, I offer to wash the toilet =D sometimes...
I should be thankful and shaddap.. and guess what? Next month I am going to control their salaries =P So sorry for being a bitch! :S

Ulat no more!!

wardrobe too gone happier!

In 2011, I have also got exposed into the amazing realms of the yoga zone, continued Odissi and later to stop yoga session.. It has always been a dream of mine to master my Indian classical dance and be the real Suetha Ram Gopal  since I was in Form Three. I credit the vision to my addiction in watching Tamil and Hindi movies at a very tender age. Did I tell you Amir Khan is to-die-for?

I am not sure how am I going to excel in it to be like the likes of January Low or Tan Mei Mei, especially at my age. I suppose I will know when I am there. And January is already married and here I am still struggling with my footwork doing Mangalacharan! I shall bang head!!

I have always enjoy the fun of writing. I must say Suhana isn't a very healthy platform for me personally as it is filthered with negativity. How I despise celebration - Chinese New Year top the list btw, how I seriously do not like kids, children, babies and 'things' that poo and expect others to clean their shit. Rants on how I hope to have kill people who block my way, rants on the miserable work and people I have to see and endure on a 'working' daily basis. Yes, it is full of negative / hate / misery, or whatever-you-call-it kind of content. 

I have channeled my passion for writing elsewhere. 

This is the year where I actively camwhored till the cows come home and had my product review done in YourShoppingKaki and of recent Keep In Vogue. These are a great platform for me. Over time, I get young girls who bump into me and recognise me form my YSK writing ! (famous awhile!)

pretty or not? ;)

super ridiculous camwhore for a 32 years old, i know!

For the coming year, I am looking into channelling back my writing to Suhana. I think Suhana deserve something better than negative statements ;)

I may not necessarily leave a legacy when I die, but at least I should leave an interesting blog rite? ;)

Wishing for a new car by working hard and earning commission from what I do now may not be a very good idea. Everyone have been saying that 2012 will be a bad time as the economy is not going to make most of us smile. I hope it will just hit the very very rich one and leave me and those not so rich people alone.

New Year, Merry X'mas, Chinese New Year and all other years that we humankind creates doesn't really leave much impact on me. To me, these are merely event in a day that humankind create to cheer themself up. But the best thing is they never failed to repeat the same thing after and after and after all the years.. 

Everyone floods the facebook wall, your sms-es, whatsapp and whatever mode of communication they can get and talk about the joy of the coming new year with lots of exclamation mark!!! yada yada yada.. 

And then they start talking to themself or 2011 or 2012, I think, because I see a lot of these "Goodbye to you 2011, all have been well, I cant wait to hug you 2012!"

Who are you all talking to!?

As much as I try to positive (which I don't think I am negative), I cannot resume myself to such emotion in ushering another new calendar year. Because life goes on after a day of public holiday. Still got to get to work. Still got to live next to a noisy neighbouring family. Still seeing the same politician on TV talking about hudud and other shit. The road is still congested as usual. Bangsar Shopping Centre parking rate is still the same. 

EVERYTHING REMAINS AS THE DAY BEFORE NEW YEAR! 

So why the necessary hassle to cheer yourself up for a day of public holiday only to go back to the same work place the day after? I am not saying you can't cheer yourself up, but why choose that day? Why can't all of you be looking forward to the next day of any day? 

Oh wait.. I think if one does so then the Facebook wall is going to be filled wit scary happy people who talk to the day after Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and all those shit.... -_-

Happy New Year whatever......yada yada....

TwoFaced version 1.2 perhaps

I have finally issued a warning letter to the lady at work and she made a statement that it was her first warning letter in her 15 years of work. Duh!! So you think after working for 15 years you are exempted from getting a notice due to your inefficiency at work and caused much problem to the company?

Many times when I do a certain execution at work, I always ponder and analyse long if I am behaving like this ex-boss, #TwoFaced which I have adapted to work with for the past 7 years. It haunts me. I am worried if  am following the wrong path  and be #Twofaced version1.2 . I seriously do not wish to be hated for the super-annoying nagging with quotes from the labour law and long preach on why everyone is always wrong and I am always right.

I believe I can do my job well, but it is definitely going to take me some time to wash off those traces of other people's traits which could have inhibited in me for so long.. Bear with me...

My Karma Lessening..

How can I not be pissed? I think no amount of breathing-in and breath out can help to regulate my pissed-up level. The damn woman did not show up for work and no one was informed. I have to take over answering calls and typing. Typing! Not that I disgress typing, but I don't hire staff to later do their work.

Perhaps I should have listened to boss and keep the prejudice and bias-ness of not hiring certain category of people because they are known to boast alot and not be able to perform later. Staffing is a very irritating issue to deal with. Because one who hire and later fire risk having his or her tyres being punctured or parts of the car paint being scratched off.

I have been hiring for so long that more or less, I have achieved the skills of getting the right person for the right kind of job. And this time, perhaps I made a wrong move. I practised 70% of approach that a stupid ex boss would have used - to trust people of different skills to do another skills and tap on their family background (in this case, poor people are always desperate for jobs) to ensure that they are dedicated to their work. And obviously this stupid strategy failed me. Not terribly yet, but enough to tarnish my image as a person with sharp judgment. What am I thnking!?

A woman with lots of cuts and scars on her wrist and arm. She could only be of these 2  types - the one who got fucking abused by the spouse or the one who is merely a psychomaniac who have a liking to self torture for personal satisfaction.

I have decided to issue a warning letter. A first one. As part of my attempt to sack the woman voluntarily or involuntarily. I don't give a shit no more.

Being absent at work from fever that does not take away one's life does not spare one from a warning letter.  Unless one is dead from sickness, I see no reason why a person / staff absense cannot be informed. And having to send scan copy of company's document to a random stranger is a big crime. Re-sending some more, after the actual recipient complained he has yet to get any emails. Matherfucking stupid donkey. And the random stranger's email appeared to be an applicant who once wrote in to apply for her same position..

Stupid woman....

Like

The song that I loathe very much and the kind of sports I always wanted to do if I can shed off 10kg off my beer belly .....

From The Side View

Tsskk....
It was in English.
I totally forgot that this particular restaurant have menus in English and nothing translated to Chinese.
It doesn't help when I have no idea how to translate Phad Thai or Lad Naa to chinese.
I have no freaking idea.
I smattered some unknown or perhaps hard-to-relate definition of some of the dishes.
We got the Tom Yam Noodle Soup eventually. The squid were asked to be removed.
Again!
I forgot. That hard, solid food were unacceptable.
I never ask why. But now I know why.
I had a look at her as she sat in front of me today.

It's been a while.
A long while despite the fact that I drives her around on daily basis.
I just realised she had 2 of her lower case of tooth taken out.
God knows when. And I just got to know it today. When I lifted my head to look at her.

Time passes so fast. The glow was no longer there. It was all so wrinkly.
I wished that she did use the placenta cream I gave her on her face and not her arms.
It's been so long since I had a proper look of her.

She is old. Tired too perhaps.
And having to look at an English menu withhout asking what was in it and made a random selection based on picture. She did not enquire. And I did not bother to ask too.
That was how things were going. For as long as I can remember.

That was how I have been brought up. To live, march pass it and not ask.
And that was how she too lived hers. To live, marching pass it and not requesting for anything.
There were times of course. She started being wicked. Putting benchmark. No, not benchmark. That is too smart an act for her to do.

The benchmarks were still here. Just that it is in the mind perhaps.
Never muttered out.

I don't know what to do.
Or if I should be doing anything.
I think I should.
I should start to pick up the bits and pieces now..

Mess

This is not a post...

This is merely a self reminder to PLEASE CLEAN UP THE ROOM! 
I have not been doing any sort of cleaning since I left the previous stupid job.
But I have kept away all the baju kurung for now and pushes out all dresses <3

I slept in the pantry today -_-
Because it rains, because the office was cold and because I am lazy...
Of late, I seriously think I went off the path that I wanted to take.

There are bits and pieces lying here and there, that I am to pick up..
but, oh so lazyyy....

I need a slap. Quick!

Save My Tyre

I think I should be working towards the preparation for this week's management meeting.
My first official meeting to introduce my presence and the amount of changes that I will introduce to the  organisation.
As much as I am well versed with what  I wanted to implement and ipose and also at the same time improve, I am not sure if my method of corporatising the human culture would work.
They are after all a bunch of men who wears slippers to site and never tuck in their shirt for most of the time in their life. And most probably the most documentation work that they could have ever been exposed to would have been to do their expenses claims.
It is pretty taxing to attempt preaching to people who are so used to doing things with no guidance. As much as I would like to corporatize the organisation, I have this major fear that I will become that of the ex-boss whom I used to work for. Major Hitler with high PR skills, but 1001 doubts about others.
Each time I talk to the boys, I try to remind myself not to be the person who have haunted me for the past 6 years on proving how powerful she is in what she does. I want to be good in what I preach and keep aside the ego of being the best. Every steps that I take, I make extra analysing to ensure I do not use those negative tactics that have been taught to me indirectly previously.

I am not sure if I should, but today I have taken note on how many times a day does the admin lady make a call to the boss, how many times an hour the boss have made a call back to the office to leave instruction, and how many times the engineers have called back to the office to talk to the admin. And I don't like that.
The self-assigned Project Manager too seems to be very bossy unreasonably and have 1200 dB of voice when giving instruction. Typical construction worker manner -_-
And I don't like it. I don't like the fact that there are shouting and commotion of people who have not thin through what is the purpose of the commotion.

And I want to change all these this coming management meeting. I just hope my tyre doesn't get punctured.

can i be your Director in charge and not get my tyre punctured please :)

V neck dress from The PopLook

Long flowy Cardi from Ladiesfash