Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Monday, November 7, 2011

A New Suhana Perhaps?

Heh, I am still not over this new point of my life yet and can't stop thinking of what I can do now that I have the room (I mean space here) to do things on my own.
On another thought, perhaps, I am too free and have no one to talk to at home, hence the almost constant lame post you can see here.. OMG!! -_-

But now that I have the liberty to be expressive without having to confront a corporate management team on why I like to blog and deciding on the level of boldness that I can express, perhaps it's time for Suhana to have a better life than lamenting on the misery of life. And blog contents should be have less of "OMG!! my work is like shit and I'm in hell" and have more of "Awww!!! I love what I see and I am gonna share with the world, regardless of you like it or not!"

I am currently working on some t-shirt design for my favourite yoga studio :) Well, I have only been to one yoga studio anyway =P
I am thinking along the line to have a pretty extensive collection : from dri-fit yoga fitted sleeveless top to basic round necked after-yoga-tee to couple yoga tee =P Yeah, greedy... I know!

some asanas that I want to use in shadow form on the t-shirt besides the reverse namaste form :)

I miss yoga ;( 
I am hoping to recoup soon financially and maybe emotionally for me to embrace on a better chapter in life. And I want to make up lots of time losses. It's time that I contribute more to the home I have. To create a better living to ma in this small hut that we reside in. I must admit all this while I have neglected the home.
We leave the house at 9am and comes back after 9pm. Clothes are mostly left to hang on dryer and only to be taken down when we need to wear it. Water are boiled only if we ran out of drinking water. Curtain are only changed only if it is dirty. Yeah, we live like bachelors O.o

It is time now that I should start making life a better environment for Ma if not for me. I must admit I have neglected her much for the past years. I fetch her everyday in a hurry after work. And I sorta get fed-up having to do the routine. Because I am tired. from work. From worrying not to be able to get enough sales. I bring her to the same restaurant almost 3 times a week and was so ignorant that she had weak teeth at her age now. And yet she did not once made a comment that she had difficulty in eating those meat and veggies that requires lots of chewing.

She never ever ask me to drive her to shop. Because she knows I am busy to the brim at work. And in my heart, I always pretend not to hear if she have any request. Because I am running short of time and my only priority is my work.
She spend as little as she can. Perhaps because I have never given her enough. Yet she never complains. And I try not to think about it. Because I am busy at work. 

Now that I have a little time... to reach her workplace earlier and with some space in my mind.. I just noticed all the little things I have ignored previously. Simply because I am too busy at work chasing dreams which were not mine..

We are not as lucky as alot of people out there as we were not born rich. We were not born too poor either. Otherwise I would not be the 70kg woman I am now :)
As much as I used to be bothered by my lack of tertiary education compared to cousins and friends who have so much to boast about uni times and all, it never dampen my spirit to excel. And perhaps this attitude in me have brought out the worst in me - to only look into excelling in work and neglected life and people around me. And I think Ma was seriously neglected. Because nothing really matters most to me than work before this..

I hope it is not too late now for me to make back the losses. To her, to life and to those around me. 

I must say despite being a non-religious person who sometimes have doubts if my prayers are answered, I have met lots of nice people in life that given me much strength, directy or indirectly :) I think those prayers do work!!

Now that I have drown myself in much sorrow, I look forward to what's in front!!

Thank you all!! <3

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