Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The First

This is the first weekday I am without a permanent job and third day since I left a 'comfort zone' - pfftt..
Perhaps, you won't be amazed as there are so many people who opt to lead life without a permanent income and still survive and be able to afford IT gadgets that I have always stinge myself from :)

I am always amazed and respects those who are bold enough to make such choices in life. I have no guts to do so. As I seriously enjoy nice Spanish meal in Cava, fanciful lunches in 21 Tables and Terrace and the comfort of all things air-conditioned. But I am not rich. Neither am I poor though. Merely a working citizen who have a little expectation in life and do not mind working towards in. But along the way sometimes we get demotivated due to much external factors that we cannot control. And we later tun to useless parasites. Or are forced to be robotic in taking instructions and allegations and implementation. It is a part of life, of course. And how you react after these act of events will determine where you get yourself landed. I somehow landed back on my bed with a newly bought tab and almost got debt-ridden bed-ridden. A story that requires no further elaboration as I have been attending to so many inquiry about it.

I have not made any drastic choice in life by quitting willingly and leave to rot in home. I get paranoid having to think what will happen after that. I should not be paranoid in the first place as I already had so much vision on what  I really wanted to do. But the paranoia feel always manages to never fail to make me feel more paranoid that I started to off the fan and lights and stopped eating to save up some money in case things don't go as expected. But this time, as much as I am equally paranoid, I did not drown myself in alcohol or cigarettes or sleep. it feels.. hmm ... I don't know.. it's feels like a naturla thing to do this time...

I am taking it as a blessing in disguise. And hopefully a GREAT disguise. And it is also through such turbulent journey in life (ok, maybe not THAT turbulent that is life threatening, but a job is very important to me!)
And I seriously hate writing in such a 'disguising' mode because I seriously am deviating from the actual content without me knowing it....

But it is through these waves of life that we be reminded that despite this hectic life that we lead,  having sickening yelling and complaints and all this bad vibes around us, there are good souls amongst it that will surface when you are in despair.  Whether you need them or not is another concern,  but it is great to have this human empathy which is rapidlly diminished in many of us corporate rats.

2 days ago I was offered an empty office willingly at no cost, to operate whatever that I wanted to operate. Today I was again offered by another good souls to also operate in his office at my descretion to do whatever I intended to do. And he has also taken care of the preparing of call cards O.o

It is thru times like this that people who have faith in you, regardless that they may be working acquaintances or common friends, it is a real comfort to see that there are KIND people still existing in this world. Before this, I seriously assume I need to sharpen the blade of protection I kept under my arm, to shield of all ass-kissing, money-blinking, laser-bitching, wicked species who waits eagerly to attack you once they got your wek point.

And I have been receivng whatsapp messages from  people I do not expect to get in touch with, via my deb-ridden new Tab and it feels like as if a re-union random gathering of me and the living world is happening! ;)

As much as I plan to keep a lower profile and quench my thirst for my artistic desire, I woke up early enough to reach a freelance location, and meeting up with acquaintances who shares my passion and sentiment in what I do.

By now, I had to have a list of To Do as there are things that requires to be done before I fully embark on a new journey :)

Today is most probably the first time I am able to smile unknowingly with no muscle strain after 5 years.

Welcome to Life. Again.

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