Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Friday, April 24, 2009

Grow, Growing, Growth

Grew, Grow, Growing, Grown ....
Yeah, it came across my mind today as I was driving over some highway..
Passing thru the particular toll booth, to get over to another segment of another highway, cutting across some boundary of an area, just to go to the neighbouring area, which is near but are made way apart in time due to massive congestion of vehicles...
It made me felt like a massive GPS system plotting the strategic move to steer and make my way to the destination. Made me felt like some kinda organic plant, scheming my way to get some ray of light to get the photosynthesis rolling..
But all in all, it made me felt a great sense of growth...be it emotionally, technically and logically :)

When I was in Standard One, I spelt cucumber as ju-jum-ber. Then I was given a picture of a boy and I don't get it why they said it's wrong to label the boy's hand as a knee. Then some male pervert got into the school toilet and I was shown some orgy picture of a western woman blowing a part of something which I think I may have seen somewhere but couldn't recollect where. I do not know what was the purpose of the Indian man who showed me and another girl the picture of the orgy. It did not create any sensation to us. I got bored and get back to class and told the teacher some anneh showed us some picture of a woman. Teacher got so shocked and she stormed out of the class with a cane. I don't get it.

When I was in Standard Two and Three .... I have no recollection of what have occured during these period ... hmm... I only know life is to be lived by looking forward to evenings of watching Thundercats and eating whatever mom threw on the table.

When I was in Standard Four, I just don't get the wonders of multiplication and why each one have to stand up and memorise the multiplication chart.

When I was in Standard Five, I felt horrified to take the public transport fearing I may get lost or sexually harassed. I also didn't have any recollection of what occured in class. It felt like some passing moments. Life seems aimless. School seems like some playground of no purpose, except to be fostered the joy to celebrate Teachers' Day and Childrens' Day. Eventually, I was thrown out of the best class in school to the second best class. But I still don't get it.

When I was in Standard Six, I still don't get it why the teachers are still forcing us to memorise the multiplication chart.. But this time I can do it. Tho I can't figure how come I managed to do it.
And suddenly I was the top student in that class which the first class people quietly acknowledge as second grade class. I was the top in class for all terms and I got to go up the stage to get some book awards. But I still don't get it. As in every year, life in school is just life where each one look forward to celebrate Teachers' Day and Children's Day.

It never occured to me that there is a purpose to life. I do not even know that the world is round. All I know is that we live in a giant's belly. When it rains, it means that the giant just drank some water. I took me quite a while to figure why there is thunder and why sometimes the weather is hot..I never did figured out. It also took me a lot of effort to think that we are the blood particles in that giant's body.

Today, I felt that I have accomplished soooo much.. Nope.. accomplish is not the word.. Let me rephrase :- I have gone through soo much.. yah.
Today, I am proud that I managed to figure a route out to avoid the jam. I felt that being able to drive myself out of the jam is an action derived from a lil bit of sensory skills (which I seldom used unless required). I felt good to be over the highway while the rest are stuck in the traffic.I felt that it's a wise choice made.
It's nothing to brag about actually. But it's the progress one made thru life that made me tinker.. That we grew from that feotal particle and am now a whooping big giant with brain, who lead a life with purpose and a little bit of sense to survive in this insane world human-dom.
It is also about being grateful to ownself for being who I am and not ending up being some school drop out who have no idea what to do with ownself but to accesorise ownself with blonde streaks, fishnet stockings and fake nails.. and still jobless.. Nope, aint looking down at you people.. just merely grateful I chose a different path.. and merely realising I am all grown up and gone thru a lot in life..
Suddenly there seems to be some ray of hope to an even better path ahead :)
Maybe in another 5 years time I will again be triggered to remisnice and be enlightened by an action of mine.. ahhh.. growing years..
In the meantime, think its better for me to sort out how to refrain my tummy to keep growing bigger from snacks... darn... :(

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