Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Year In Year Out

Today isn't the first day of a new year.
I was too lazy and did this half way, only to return to it now..

Today is the first day of another new calendar year.
This year, not too many new calendars collected.
Got a diary from the insurance agent as per every year. Perhaps I should really make use of it and document everything that needs to be done daily.
I have been lagging. For the past year.

The past year was a year I got totally clean from that horrid working place - Meesha Suckira that sucked my life out of this body. In return, I got rewarded. With a man who loves me like there is no other woman in the world anymore. Yeah, I got my life back. Being able to have some personal time doing things out of the work zone. For the first time also in my life, I think I have finally settled down to the idea that I wouldn't mind being loved by someone. And for the first time in my super ambitious mind to have lowered down to a mind set of not even wanting to pursue a career anymore. It is like... I have achieved the zen of normal human life like that!
please do not steal my man!

Today wasn't too great a day. Was hot. Had to wake up early to return this set of jewellery made of metal which was once GIFTED to me. I seriously thought when one say, "... this is my gift to you..." it means being offered to you at no hidden cost. Turn out the hidden cost was actually there! I should have listened to some friends who said it can't be true. I seriously thought that there are genuinely kind soul out there.
All this hoo-haa finally lead me to being able to filter out the different type of educator / teacher / master. A real educator have genuine followers who will be by his / her side because they may see the same vision and mission. A bad one just keep reminding you that the economy is not doing good and there is a need to increase practising fees. As there are bills to be paid for their own life.
I was once very genuine in my pursue. Until I have been constantly reminded by the one who impart knowledge that  they are more keen to have your money - not that I am not willing  to pay. But it doesn't compensate the experience gained. Now it makes sense why the group of followers were just never a pool big enough to impress..
So. bye bye to something that I have always wanted to do since the age of 13 - indian classical dance. Perhaps I will put a  foot in next time. But definitely wiser.
(this whole thing sounds like some scam story. It's not. Merely a phase of gotten into a wrong crowd.)

I can't wait to get back to doing yoga

As much as I do not favour my current working condition, it was also a year I had to take charge of something at work. Not like I have not been doing it all the while in other company. As easier said than it's done, managing an office is not easy. All the action to be taken requires much thoughts and consideration before implementation. I guess not going out for sales and marketing purposes was good. t has given me a time to straighten up my skills in office management. I would  like to say I have a great concept, but I have bad implementation. In other words, I know what to do, but I am lazy to do ;(
I think I am going to remind myself to sharpen on the  implementation part for this coming year.

My weekends are now filled with kids. Joining MoneyTree and entertaining kids aside, I have not much choice but to learn alongside them on being financially savvy. Having to attend sessions of parental talks on being financially smart too have opened up my mind on the need to be financially smart despite the different level on wealth everyone had. And for the coming year, the goal is to find a time to cancel the Citibank credit card - bad service, manipulative with well rehearsed scripts for outsources customer service. The other goal And now that the world did not end - I guess I will have to continue living like the world will never end and settle the balance of the debts in another credit card. It feels awful ;(

Having more time on my own means I have also been able to write more! I enjoyed contributing to YSK that  it feels so uneasy not to receive emails constantly. Yes, I am a workaholic! Those little write ups have pretty much funded my shopping too. Actually those little extra money have pretty much funded my life, since salary is always late :/
The social media and blogging platform have brought me much exposure and friends. I have gotten more freelancing jobs than I could ever ask for. Opportunity is abundance. Really is a matter of being there and knowing people at the right time when it's in need. I have gotten something confirmed few months down the road. Those extra money will surely help to implement whatever that I have learnt in MoneyTree =D

And of course, having said that, all the exposure have created a bolder me!
Sometimes I do wonder where does the thick skin confidence comes from?
As much as I dwell on the fact that  I am fat (which I am), the shamelessness in public display of boldness just doesnt seem to sink.
I guess I am a born exhibitionist. And it is addictive.

am I hot enough for you babeh? =P

Being an exhibitionist means I love being fanciful in front of the camera. Regardless of whoever's camera! Most probably I won't die leaving a legacy, but I have at least ticked off some of the stuff that can happen in a person's life (whatever shit I am talking about)

check my flat ass

I have started the year wrong I think. I had bittergourd for lunches for a week. As the name suggest, 'bitter' / 'fu-kua' in Chinese, I hope it won't be gicing me a year long of bitterness ;/
I should have eaten something gold, like the pumpkin (kam-kua) to start the year. So random...

bitter-gourd face

Mum is still healthy as ever. I am glad she is. Not many of her age is as strong as she is. She is as irritating as ever. Something that old age did not manage to change her. I still have not done enough for her. I don't know how else. I try to compensate it in the form of monetary. Not that I have a lot.
I don't know if this is a concern, but have you ever wondered what will you do when the last of your parent leave you. Leaving you to be an orphan? Being on your own eventually. But being 34, I supposed this is just a phase that everyone have got to go thru. But I got into thinking about this almost every day. 
Most probably she will leave me not having to live a life she could have once wished for - a comfortable and worry free one. One where she will be taken care of by her one and only favourite son. But everyone we know, knew that it won't happen :(
I hope she will still be as healthy as she can for more years to come, and perhaps lesser irritating, of course.

I tried thinking of anything significant that could have happened in 2012 and nothing came up. I never went for any concert. Didn't catch a glimpse of any Prime Minister, celebrities or anyone important. Except for a guy who loves me like a boss! I don't think dying my hair in dip dye color is even worth mentioning. 
I basically survived the year in one piece with nothing extra ordinary or lesser than ordinary. but I lived another day if that's worth mentioning =D

For 2013, I think I am going to make a habit to fully pen down my daily 'to-do' and keep myself occupied with more work and yoga, of course! I am not sure if I can be as determined as Jaclyn who most probably spend 4 hours a day in the gym burning fats, stress and whatever that can be burnt, another 1 hour to google and store gym-going motivational quotes, like this;

@Fit_Motivator: Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. -Lynn Jennings

or this :

Not making any resolution as it is really like mocking ownself with a list of things that most probably sounded more like things that could happen ONLY if you own fairy dust powder. But I think it is going to be a good year ahead, if I can treat -
- talking to idiot as an acknowledgement that there are so many less competent people in this world and I am way better than them..
- people who waste my time as part of my contribution back to the society by giving them a second chance to being human
-traffic jam as a platform to do some work. Now this, I think I need some gadgets..
- not having enough money to always satisfy the Wants and Needs as part of the journey to being compassionate

I hope the bitter-gourd consumption won't affect me much :/
Because I just ate stir fry bitter gourd with chicken again today!!


  1. Hey Cynthia :) I feel happy for you for finding the man of your life! Gym workouts are meant to keep you healthy, don't overwork yourself. 1 hour x 3 times/week is very good liao. Try Les Mills Body Jam (cardio dance), I think you will like it. :)

  2. Hi,
    hahaha, when I see Eleven, thought it's some Brother Eleven =D
    No, not hitting the gym :( am trying to save cost. am just gonna do yoga and start back hiking and maybe those boring marathon ... :/
    And glad to know u - KennySia's gf!! :D :D


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