Bhols by bhols

Today is most probably the first time after many years that I have actually started to put in notes for my dance class. And started to look into those videos of practise. And I feel like crying because I am so lacking behind.I  just don't know if I will ever make it.

Watching this 11 years old girl doing here bharatanatyam makes me even more stressed :'(

Vaishnavi doing a bharata with Micheal Jackson's song!

I am to be blamed for my own laziness in practising at home. But how do I do it in a 680 sq feet confinement! ;'(

Most probably I will also fail terribly in the coming exam. I hate losing ;(

I don't wish to ask myself if I know this is what I want because this is WHAT I want.

I cannot possibly let go of the only childhood wish I have. Then I would really be a sore loser.. someone who have never have achieved anything fanciful from the list of things to do which they have kept since 15 years old.

I think I need some seclusion and seriously think on how to resolve things that have been going around me - work, freelance work, dance, more work, money, getting thin and more dreams..

the opening prayer

part of chowkas

I am pretty good at these though ;'(