Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Thursday, November 19, 2009

TIRED

Do u have a purpose? To live till 60 or 80 years of age?
At 30, I am very very tired.
Been weeping a lot lately out of no particular reason. I wept while driving. While stuck in the jam. While stopping at traffic light. While watching TV. While waiting to sleep.
I am very tired. VERY tired.
I realised this routine-d life of mine only leave me with 3 hours a day for my personal time. Sometimes 2.5 hours only if I am not speeding.
No amount of =(  =(  =( can express how TIRED i am.
I think I wept because I am tired. Of life. Of routines. I am beginning to see nothing ahead of me.
I am beginning to accept that life is a cycle of no particular reason. Mothers bear children. If she is lucky she will have children to care for her thru old age. If she is not that lucky, most probably she will die out of paying debts for the children's education fund and what-so-ever.
I always tell PC to give her mom the silent treatment for not allowing a 30 years old woman to stay out later than 11pm. Or walk past her whenever the mom decides to start the preaching session on how miserable is the life of the daughter. I do not know how she cope. Because I do not know how to cope too..
I am tired of my duties.. I am beginning to feel that my presence is a process for me to pay back in the form of responsibility.. which I have dutifully perform all the years...
.
I
AM
TIRED
.............

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