Over

in exactly 10 months time most probably and I will need to get a new job. Soon! Maybe I should try harder. The last time i applied to the brewery, I  screwed it up with my over-enthusiasm over free drinks. I think I must have kept chanting " I like to drink and I can drink up everything in your brewery" which sort of frightens the MD   >__<   I remember using the phrase as a full stop to every sentences *__*

I hate job-hopping, but ....... bah.... I had a bad day.. and can't go on.. and someone won the bag holder from Alicewonders !!!  why am i not winning anything??

see how luck also is not on my side??

sien...

A Matter of Mind

For the past couple of weeks, been contributing to the succession of Hoergarden and Kilkenny against the generic Carlsberg and Heineken. I would really like to be able to tell people that I am an alcoholics. I won't mind being labeled as a problematic person undergoing incontrollable urge to drink and labeled an alcoholic. The very least, people know me for something.. 'Hey!! That's the alcoholic bitch I told ya all about!' That's really something to put a mark in their mind. Enough to justify my presence have been felt. Though maybe in a negative way as perceived. But I do not regard that as negative. If one day people gossip about me being kept by some old fug as a sex toy, I accept with open arms and boobs. I am glad that my acts are acknowledged despite some thinking I am such a bitch.. but hey!! at least i got an old fug who can keep me.. as a pet and u have a boy friend to pay for =P
But
But
But
I am not hardcore enough to be an alcoholic.. i only get to enjoy the sinful drink when the prosecutor from terengannu returns to KL for seminars and exams..
I am also not qualified to be kept, simply because I have smaller boobs compared to the clerk next door. Who has 3 heads. Get it? Get it?   =P

Ming were telling us about the most common cause of cancer - stress. Which I pondered for 2 days.
Very true.
I have also put that in my list of possibilities that will bring to my own death.
Committing suicide, tho in the list but does not top the list.  Tho there are many a times, I felt like speeding and ram the car off the flyover. I wanted to feel what it feels like to die with flying motion..
Cutting ownself is too much a pain for coward like me. I still prefer the ramming and die of panic and got crushed and closes the chapter of life in a blink.
I also don't want to be raped to death. That's cruel. To die with no underwear intact. And end up being found in a sewage covered with everyone's poop.
Have you wondered if one can cry to death? I tried doing so and banged my head on the wall. It didn't bleed, but only damn painful. And I am worried I may turn dumber but survived.
I think I have found my own death point - cancer due to stress.
It's like a very certain thing that will materialise..Am beginning to understand how it develops too. When one is stressed, for no particularly BIG reason, complication to breathe occur. Head suddenly felt heavy. The mind often than not keep having whirlwind of stuff to think.About everything.. anything.. but all things seemed more like an issue than a solution. Everything seem to be at the wrong side of perspective..
Yes, I have this on a daily basis..
And while having whirlpool of thoughts dashing into minds, I sometimes managed to envisions stuffs and issues that I have been searching for an answer to.... among which is the principle to stand up for what you think is something that you ought to voice out. with proper facts of course and reasonable reasoning. I have forgotten these traits for some time. WHich I do realise but always brushes it off.. always reminding I am just not good enough to be opinionated. And I do not have the freedom of speech simply because I am not a perfect person.
Yes, that is just how fragile I am despite having a loud voice and daring to grab hold of people's groin just for a dare to challenge session...  :/
And today, I vow to change..drastic or not.. in fact, it's not a change.. merely back to what used to be there..
And many other things to come too... there may not be much time left, since the chances of me dying early is quite high.. so I shall and must take things one day at a time..
To make a vow is a stressful ambition. To materialise the vow made is equally stressful if not traumatically stressfull. To think of the consequences is to build more stress..
Battered stress today by falling asleep in the car for an hour in the parking lot
Tomorrow shall be better... hopefully..
What a panache... a cancerous cell... benign stress...

Be who u are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind..

u mind?

leave me alone...

i really nid to sob to detoxify the cells within...

Oh Well..

U should have guessed it wayyyy earlier that no way Beyonce is gonna dominate the stage by adhering to the modesty act that would require her to dress like this rite??

Miss Beyuncit Kenut

Oh well miss Knowles, so sorry for all the inconveniences. It's really not meant to undermine your bold and daring act which some deemed inapproriate. Somehow the slightest display of your hot thigh is a catalyst to all the rape cases that may occur after your hot show. You do know, we are a bunch of modest hobbits that can never accept out -of -modesty- acts rite? We still think that it ain't proper to physically put u on the stage and jiggle ur hot thigh. Though it can be deemed proper for us to have wet dreams about u. And ur thigh of course.

We look forward to your coming in future. Maybe u can please all by coming like this :

GOT BOOBIES?

cus it's Deepavali and boobies are needed to ensure a nice sillhoutte when wearing saree blouse... bah...
Been a while, been so long since I ever wanted to drop anything in here.. Yah, i found a new hobby to dispose all my time on :)

The only time i ever wanted to drop in a post is when i am utterly frustrated, stressed and feeling like wanting to commit suicide. No good. No good. I guess it's time I opt for a re-vamp of content and make this an educational blog to talk about what I do and the greatness in what I do. Instead of what I hate, what I cant stand, what I REALLY hate, who I hope dead. But if i were to continue that rambles in anger, I only have so much to talk about.. -__- like everyone that is hated will just end up being dead.. and nothing further to elaborate.

And so yeah.. I am now in trangression ( does the word exist?) to talk about something else. But don't think it's wise to talk about myself cus I don't really have anything to boast about. The only thing I look forward to is hoping one day I will have enough of a boob to showcase to the world!! without having to appear with a bra cup bigger than the boob. But I know at THIS age, and growing would have been put on a halt. FULL CUP STOP.

No way would it be able to grow anymore to the desired shape and size which would allow me to wear a plunging maxi without a bra bigger than the boobs.. =(
At this age, the only thing that may have quite high possibility to grow on your boobs would most probably be those stubbles of toxins. Which can easily stress the poop out of every woman. U know.. those things.. with an array of terms u can call it - tumor, stones, cancerous cell, piece of malignant cell or whatever to your liking.
By the way, refraining from sex won't stop you by having breast cancer. So u can still enjoy that work out on bed =)  I guess it's just a case of random hits and maybe genetics too. If it's a random hit, maybe God loved you more =)  if it's genetic .. then I guess besides the constant sms to God faith in your religion that help to build a firm you, a healthy lifestyle too helps.

And that regular check-up for women is not THAT expensive to make it a yearly 'to-do' thing. Otherwise, get a pamphlet from the friendly neighbourhood clinic on self inspection and do it in the comfort of your own room. Before shower or before that session of tantric sex with your partner =P
Unfortunately the society is a bunch of lallang who thinks it's embarassing to go for essentials like pap-smear or breast check-up. The doctors won't lose a penny not doin the check-up for you. The nurse too won't lose her salary not seeing your boobs. But you may lose a boob.. or two if u think it's embarassing and prefer to brush off the issues by saying u have a set of healthy boobs without proper inspection.. So, who is at the losing end? U lor..

http://alicewonders.com/gotboobies/act.php#BOOBICON

I want to have the boobies at the bottom left - the brown boobs with red nipple.. what's your flava?

And so that is my musing for the day.. about boobs- which I like but don't have that much to show off in real life... I hope to at least win a pursehook from AliceWonders.com with my humble lil ramblings? (Gosh I am soo humble.. i only need a pursehook!! =D)

 i would like to end my post with an image of a boob, but then I think it will be deemed a lewd post =S  so no boobsie picture !!  =P


(any statement made, shall anyone find to be harsh, is not mean as a form of insult. The writer is a firm believer that one must always look at things in and out, good and bad, positively and negatively and be able to accept that this is just how the world operates.. not always to your favour, but there is still hope for all)

That Hungry Tremor

Not writing very often is no good. Increases blood pressure. Because when I am inspired to write, adrenaline pumps in... I have had a few blood rush to write recently..

I was awakened by the fact that I bring shame to girl when I realises I do not comb my hair daily! I do not even have a proper comb, only a flat comb which is a free gift from Revlon many years ago.
For a few days this have been lingering in my mind.. and I wanted to make a list of 10 things why i am ... erm... special ?

Then I wanted to write about some unforgotten inspiration, aspiration, ambitions... but then life after work is sooo short.. I barely have enough time to get the hair dry..

Then I tot maybe I should put in words on my ONE and only football match I've been to.. the recent visit of Man Utd to Malaysia.. which doesn't seem important anymore. now..

Then I thought I wanted to write about gender equality as I read some mind provoking articles in the paper.. but i got too sleepy..

I have such dull, sunken life.. hor??

Then just 2 days back... I felt the tremor too at 6.20pm.. was typing and staring at the pc in office.. and i felt the tremor.. I couldn't believe it!! My stomach growled till it trembles .. and so I thought I need some food and headed to the pantry to get some Raya cookies.. and continued work.. the news at 8.30pm confirmed the hungry tremor i felt actually came from Mother Earth to the Samoan and the Sumatrans..  -___-  not my hunger pangs ...........

I guess that's the way Mother Nature keep the ecosystem balance. When things get too crowded, she give it a juggle and eats up a small population of us by sending some to hell and heaven respectively. have you ever wondered one day our turn will come? How do I cope? How do you cope? I live on the 7th floor. Do u think i will survive?

Hmm.. If I cant survive and have to be drowned under rummages of ruins, please let me have my clothes on.