Fried Meehoon with Crabstick

Weddings.

This matrimonial process that a male and female got to go thru so that they can legally fornicate and bear more cry babies.

And yet, it is never a two person path to walk thru it.
And no. I am not talking about planning my wedding.

Well, I was about to start a list of guest initially, but was interrupted when I got a call to remind that we MUST go to the pre-wedding dinner and the wedding dinner over the weekend.
Why??
Why can't you two go get some rest the day before the wedding?
Why is there a need to make people beat the jam to get to your home so that we can dig into your fried meehoon and crabsticks from the famous caterer in your neighbourhood, or most probably in the township.
Why can't the both of you go drive to Cava in Bangsar and ask for a candle and order a set of 8 tapas dish and start to talk about the great time you both have endured.
No.
Now you have me, the old woman I got to bring around, more old woman who will be coming and another bunch of old man and older woman who will be thronging your front yard - digging on your fried meehoon with crabsticks. And nuggets. Not forgetting, maybe another bunch of your office mate who have to beat the traffic, neglect a wife, fake some documents and punch out early from work - just so your pre-wedding dinner eating fried meehoon will be merrier with lots of people, eyeing for the nearest available empty table after enduring the traffic, and spent the past 30 mins driving around the garden looking for slot-me-in parking bays. Just to dig into your fried meehoon with crabstick.

It is a week away from this whole lengthy process of beating the traffic, finding parking bays, finding empty tables near buffet area in your humbly-sized  yard, mingling with old people who keep bugging you with quetions - why your heels so high, why you still not maried. I am not left wiht choice but to start planning.

Yes. NOW.
Shall I buy a laptop battery so I can power up my old laptop and sit at a corner after entertaining your famous fried meehoon with crabsticks and start doing my work.
Shall I perhaps invest in a Samsung Galaxy Note so that I can eliminate the hassle to bring a laptop and I can still do my work from the smart phone.
Shall both the above options not work, what are the range of books that I can perhaps buy from Popular Bookstore? After all, eating friend meehoon with crabstick will only take me 20 mins inclusding of gulping down a premix of orange juice. I most probably can use the extra hours after that to finihs up a business management book.
Shall I leave the books out, how many newspaper must I buy so I can fill up the time that I have to endure whole waiting for all the people in your yard to stop talking and go home?
Shall I leave the laptop, the smartphone, the books and newspaper out, perhaps, I should print out some assignment from my Tesol and complete it at a nook of your yard and hopefully no one notice of my existence so I can peacefully finish up the night productively.
Shall I also start to prepare my expression and some standard answers to some standard questions and statement that is predicted at each of such event?

'Moi, why are you so shy? Eat more la.."
"Ate dy, thank you"
'No, eat more la, we are relatives mah.. no shy shy, eat more'
Ok, I go eat now. happy? And you think I have never eaten before in my life that I musn't stop now that you are buying?

'Eh, now only you all reach?'
Well, can't you see I just walked from the parking area? What you think? That I went for a jog before coming over to dig on the friend meehoon with crabstick?

'Are you working now?'
Would you want to finance my life if I said NO?

'When are you getting married?'
When you stop asking, perhaps I would. Does my marital status actually affects your life?

'Wah, you seem so busy with your work! You are so hard working'
Because this whole hoo-la-ba-la is taking 5 hours of my life on a weekend. And tomorrow I have to endure another half day just so I can upgrade from eating fried meehoon with crabstick to drinking a small bowl of sharks fin (inspired) soup. Time is Money and I don't have enough of both. Geddit??

After all that is said, I guess I am still not left wiht much of a choice but to be present and go thur life as predicted - to eat your friend meehoon with crabstick and stay at a corner unnoticed.
Wait.
What is the name of the bride and groom?
WHO IS GETTING MARRIED?

wtf....