Sometimes we are so engrossed in wanting to pamper ourself. Wanting to reward ourself. Giving reason that we deserve to get those little luxury in life just because we worked hard non-stop for the past week.
For the past 3 weeks, there have been so many justifiable reason on why I need these.
A Samsung galaxy Tab
which I have no idea what it does. I seriously thought it is a phone. But it seems too big to be one -__-
But I also desperately need a new laptop. Perhaps I don't need one yet. Perhaps it is this juxtaposed impression forcefully created by the idyllic mind that I need some material worthy item to quench the material thirst. My Dell Inspiron is still running good as at now. Despite having many of the keypads out of prints and out of place.
Dell Vostro
I have been thinking that the common appointment to meet new clients would be a better session if I can go with an Ipad instead of a 60 pages photocopied in color profile, which more often than not,I have to risk giving it away as people seemed too impressed with the catalgous not to ask for a copy ;)
An Ipad would save me the trouble from having to comb bind a set each time I have to see potential clients.
Ipad 2
It is at this moment I am looking at all avenues to earn the extra stash of moolah to get these splurge. I don't know. I really do think that I deserve to reward myself with at least one of it. And I made a self promise to make good of it. Like, write more review post, do more quotes to increase sales, camwhore better so people can come to a pretty blog with nice pictures ;)
Well, yeah.. I have a stash of cash in the bank. And I don't think I will die if I spend it on one. Or two item for the fact.
But when I look at Ma, with a Counterpain tube in her hand, reading at instructions, my impulse to self-reward vanishes.
I forgot. I really have forgotten.
To always be grateful. And to be contented.
With whatever that I already have.
I almost lost myself again. And again. And yet again.. to temptations.
Yes, I do deserve a lot of things that I do not posses. And I think Ma deserves a lot of things too.
And so does everyone else. Who deserves a better life. But life is never that smooth sailing for everyone.
While it doesn't hurt my ass to fork a couple of thousand on gadgets that most probably will not affect my current state of life, it's hurting to know that I actually have a lurking mind to have a toy when I have neglected Ma's need. OK, maybe I have not neglected (it sounds really bad), but I can't justify anymore reason to splurge on personal needs.
It is sad to see Ma only uses the basic stuff in life. Basic spectacles, dentist only when it's gotten too serious a tooth pain, basic traditional ointment and such.
And it is equally sad when the anneh have to wash cars for RM5 per car from 9.30pm onwards till midnite. Where most probably his stupid son is somewhere in Jinjang area planning fights.
And it is a pain to see illegal car washer from India who have to share a RM8 wages from a car washed among 4 people. And they seem to wear the same clothing everyday.
And more often than not, I lost appetitie when in queue to buy mix rice, where the lowly paid lorry driver had a big mountain of rice with lots of gravy and and a single dish.
And here I am wishing for this electronic gadget which most probably can feed the lorry driver 3 months worth of nasi briyani, the car washer some decent attire, and proper meal too perhaps.
I feel bad. Really bad.
I will not wish further and more than what I have..
For now that is..
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