Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Friday, November 12, 2010

Being a Woman

When I was 16, I was damn sure that I am going to get married with a Chinese working executive when we  turn 26. Yes, must get married by then and start using the production system at least to reap benefits twice and bear some fruits of love..

But when I was 16, I don't know what is sex nor the need to mix with boys when we are having so much fun making fun of the teachers in high school. And we love chanting out Wonderwall by Oasis back then ;)

When I was 20, fortunate or unfortunate, I got myself into college and I got myself a guy. Whom I can introduce to all that THE GUY was a boyfriend. and so life seems complete. Partially. I just need to complete the education part and get married. At this time I like Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears ;)

When I hit 22, I am still with the same guy. Same style. And same clothing. And taking bus to work is not as easy as you can think. Not when you need to walk for half an hour And and wait for 45 minutes only to board a bus for a half hour journey to reach a station and transit to either another bus or LRT. I was OK with walking over to the nearest mall with the boyfriend. Or perhaps not even go anywhere but attempt some lousy home cooked. All in the name of being thrifty.

When I hit 24, I still have not hit any jackpot. Am still with the same guy. And the world looked the same. I got better job. I did better each time when I got a new job. And this time I got job out of the confinement of the so called 'outskirt' area not fit to be called the metropolitan. But I have saved enough to tick off another to-do tihng in my To Do List. I got my driving license and car at the same time. The dream of getting married was litting up once in a while. In a very random, rare and almost unforgotten moment. Yeah, most of the time it was forgotten. During this time, I so dig Ally MacBeal!!

When I climbed to being 26, I was dumped. Which left me stalling for a moment.... O.o
But I started to climb up on the career ladder at the same time. I had no time to shed tears.. Except when I really have got nothing to do in my rented room. Didn't took me long to forget it. I erased off 5 years off my youth. Wait, there isn't much of a historical moment that is too painful to let go. Life was starting to glisten.
I get to go to clubs with no one watching over my shoulder or trying too hard to accomodate. And who wears pants or jeans to club anymore?? Not me! Not anymore! I have started to find the self which have been hiding somewhere in between the normality of life.

Life began after that ;)
Being single isn't that bad after all. My wardrobe improved unknowingly. Where does all the sleeves go?? My  sole no longer touches the floor. Yes, I am on 4 inches heels at all times =P
I don't think I pushed myself to being another person after a failed relationship. I got out of something that have proved to be more of a hindrance to me and myself. I am beginning to learn about myself
By now I am a great fan of Shakira! And I almost forgotten the full name of this suburban guy who dumped me. Serious...!

My queen of all heels - Aldo Flokaka
*Bow down all the king's horses and blow me a kiss!*

Along the journey of self discovery, there is no denying that sometimes it's not that easy being on your own. Not easy at all. Especially if you have problems with the car and opening the front of the car won't make any differences as there is no indication which part looked like an engine or an air-cond outlet. I know nuts! Which I compensated by having a bigger ego. And pretend I have a fatter wallet. Yes, sometimes moolahs are important as it can buy a lot of things that you cannot possibly get simply by asking without paying for the services rendered. You can try to swap with sexual favour perhaps. I don't know....perhaps ;)

I opened myself to a lot windows. I would assume it is the right thing to do as I am late in accomplishing what I had initially planned. To get hitched at 26 remember? But along the course of having my thigh being peeped by mens, I realised I never really do feel depressed of not going thru the phase that most girls would have done. That typical phase of pin pointing the right guy and  make grand plans to have wedding, inviting another 500 people regardless of who they are and later to make babies in their new home.

While a lot / a few of my close friends are busy with the elevation to this stage of life and was erratically delirious over staying under the same roof with the love of their life and how they will work hard to earn enough to feed the kids and that the kids will be named Joanna Belle, Isabella Pettuoci or whatever names I can't think of. *Yawn* I am merely contented to be able to hit the club on weekends, painted my face in cosmetics religiously while not forgetting to keep my ego at work and at life. Good and no good.
Sorry babes. Not that I am not happy for you all, but I am simply not fascinated and do not knowif  I wish to go thru what you are going thru. I tried to be attentive but seriously.. *yawn*.. Sorry ;(

I do not fancy wedding functions

I am now 31. As many mens have peeped thru my plunging necklines and high slit skirts, I have also seen / deal / pretend to be friend with a lot of men. And to date, they simply do not amaze me anymore.

I can no longer be able to give an answer to why am I still single. Perhaps because I am too hot to only be confined to ONE man. And perhaps I judge a relation with ROI. I do not invest on a broken vessel or a flight with no return of investment deemed profitable for the rest of my life. Neither am I keen to be a charitable organisation who will swear till death do any of us apart to take care of another family with large database of extended family when I can't even do the same to my paternal family.

Perhaps..

Dealing with men, having gone thru relationship with them and being friends with them really have eaten up the little interest left in me for them. They aren't that difficult to deal with anyway. You just got to sit with them for the first time and see what is the topic that will come out of their conversation. Otherwise, try and pre-empt that with some topics of your own. Perhaps you can start with a 'Did you see Sex in The City? I like nothing but the sex scene'. Let's see where does the conversation go. If conversation fails, try the high slit skirt or the deep plunge top.

I would like to re-enact again - It isnt that difficult to deal with men. Most of the time, the sex subject is a global subject. Though I have met one who diverted to religion and how he can see ghost and how one can and another who loves himself too much to divulge more time for anything but he and his hobbies of mechanical devices.

Today, I am deeply concerned. not because I found no men to flirt on a Friday night, while Sha-Lene is going to spend her Friday night in some bar called Republic Bar -__- I am concerned because I have jumped a size bigger..or maybe 2 size biger than usual!! I think I am no longer a UK12. I am now a UK14 going to UK16! And that beer belly which is obviously over nourished is making a damn loud appearance to the public..

Now you see.. our spesies classified under the categories of women have so much to in our mind at all times. While we looked so pretty and (hot for me) cool on the facade, we never failed to stress ourself out with thoughts, irregardless of it being deep or merely shallow thoughts...

Happy Children's Day. To all of you kids out there who will turn into a robust, fashionable young little chicas, say NO TO SEX before you complete your high school..Your lust can wait.

2 comments:

  1. you are hot and awesome cynthia!

    ReplyDelete
  2. & you will always be (echo mechell's comment)!

    ReplyDelete

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