Half of January gone!

All my weekend are spent on napping. Waking up and nibbled on some biscuits and nap again.
Then it's back to the work station.

I do think hard.
I seriously do.
Why the hell am I not able to finish up any work ever?

Took half a day off.
Cancelled that half day.
Forgot someone coming for interview.
FINE.

Wanted to sew a doll's dress for my lil' monsters.
E mails, text messages keep coming.
Request, instructions. pleas

Thought I need to pen down all work in the to-do list.
Stretched till March 2015.
It's only Jan 2015 now.

I am slowly phasing out from human interaction.
Sometimes I wish I had someone to talt to.
To rant, gossip without the political intent to kill
To tell stories of stupidity and to ignite some determination.

I have been avoiding making proper sentences over here
Cus it may not end
I haven't been to YSK for the past 2 weeks
I wonder if the domain still exist

I am tired
Just tired
Without even a full stop

no, i am not kidding

bitch 

how's my impression as the FLOM?

Fake

I just had to rant this out.
I wanted to do this on my Facebook wall, but then the risk of getting a warning is high XD

Its 1am now and am in my nook preparing 2015 sales forecast and projection.
Nothing much to project anyway because 2014 was really sucky and 80% of my time is spent on things I couldn't identify at work.

I needed to get some data to do this shit.
I have no data :/
I don't know where to start.

So I started to ponder why didn't I get any datas when everyone is having it.
It brings me back to this place that I really hate.
Maybe not the place, but you people!
Yes, you people who have contributed to my depression.

When all your faces appear in my mind, my stomach gets bloated.
My arms are hurting.
I don't know how long my jaw can stand from sending out fake smiles and acknowledging your presence.

Anyway, I am going to leave all nitty gritty of your work to yourselves. All I want this year in the office is to ward off all you people from my life.
I have diverted too much from the realm that I want to achieve. It's going no where. I am not blaming any of you.
It was me. It was me who have ignited these hurt onto myself by taking the negative potion out of your group of people.

Starting afresh, I just hope to gain back my momentum and not to be immersed into the cultures that all of you have cultivated.
No, not me. I don't belong to these typical culture derived from this particular area of the country.

OK, I am done and now back to work!

TODAY - 2015 Day 1

Nope, not going to have any new year resolution because 2 weeks after I REALLY did write down any, it's washed off my mind anyway.

All I really really secretly want is to go back to a size 12.
Yes, I want a 39" butt and that's it. Nothing more. I wanna be able to wear skint tight dresses like a super bitch. OK, now it's no longer a secret.

The whole of 2014 has been nothing but a series of depression mainly due to work. And I tell you, once depression hits, it takes damn a very long time to get back on track to being even slightly positive. It just doesn't seem to have anything much to look forward to. I am mentally drained and physically bloating!

I supposed there isn't anyone to be blamed unto except myself. Perhaps I am just not good at what I do. I think.

Procrastination, de-focus and attempting to multi-task just ain't gonna work.

I am secretly hoping to make some changes. On my own.

For this new year, see no resolution from me. All I wish to do is to start to read alot, document my daily task and hope that I will be able to create a healthier habit at life, at work and generally just hoping that I will survive another year with more ups than down. (this is so no me!)

Yeah, I think my objective in life is getting less complex when life hits 35. All I want to do is to be able to finish up my work, go home and do some miniature stuff for my dolls, add some dolls to my collection, buy lots of dresses and maintaining looking hot and I want to do all this with no worries :)



Happy New Year.