Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

This place filthered with chinese chauvinist

Everyday I have to ask myself why do I want to cramp myself in this hole of delusion impacting my life with all the negative vibes from arrogant amateurs....with no structures, no standards and no guidelines, in life, in every steps of work.
Work flow is just a name with no definition.
SOP is merely an abbreviation with no meaning.

I cry. Not because i cannot cope.
I cry because I have belittled myself with all these negative amusement and let it eat me up.
I can no longer have any positive vibes. Not even with my immaculate skills in levelling up my make up skills.
No I am still not at ease. I felt like a westerner amidst a group of mahjong-playing old man clad in weary singlet.
I do not feel a class higher. Get me no wrong.
But I feel the compression mode of denial in them. Refusing to budge, not able to spell out the vision thye claim to uphold. It's a whole scene of fakeness.
It has eaten up my passion to excel.
It has drown me from wanting to be the best.
All I can do now is - do if need to, do if forced to. otherwise, stop and don't nudge.
This is not me.
Definitely not the me I used to know.
I don't undertsnad what is holding me back.
I think it must be the 2 Prada I commited for 12 months.
Otherwise, I would want to spread my wings and leave this imbecile group of specimen to let them be in their undisturbed reign. I want to be me again. The better side of me.

One word to all of u - Fuck You.

1 comment:

From Everywhere eh?

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