Flock

Kio and I discussed about a lot of issues yesterday.. work, bitches, Korean food ( since we are already in the Korean restaurant), salaries, fat asses, sickness, insurance and more bitches.
There really is a lot of intriguing issues that I really wanted to make a big rant out of it.
Again we tried to find a purpose of living, surviving and how insurance claims may not have any use when there is a clause to mention that u can only claim for your unlimited medical cost when u have reached Stage 4. Normally people would start seeing the lights of hell in Stage 3 ..
She wanted to open a shop that sells baking apparatus and will be contented if there are aunties who will drp by on daily basis to buy things. Like anything. And hoping to survive the rest of her life just by having a few aunties dropping by to buy a spoon or two. And maybe some castor sugar.
If i were to take over her shop one day, I will start meeting up with hotels F&B and give a thorough qutes on stuff I can supply to them, meeting bakeries owner to seal a deal on long time supply of flour at a competitve rate, and most probably propose to cooking and baking centre to be an agent and sell the stuff we have in the shop.
She have also thought of being a masseur, simply contented by picking only clients she likes, among which shuold be only women, women who does not bitch, women who are not too big a size, women with nice and decently architectured premise, and most probably women whom she think is worth being her friend. She is contented. With just that.
If I were to take over her on-site massage services, I would go to The Star office and propose a free write up of the services to create more awareness on the positve side of massage which does not collaborate with other activities to include blow job, sex and masturbation services. And I would also make her train a group of masseur wannabee to extend the network of staff and thence be able to rake in more clients a day. And definitely I will take any sort of customers, big, fat, thin, naggy, ugly, boobless and such..
And that is just us.. people who flock together may not be of the same feather. But we still flock together..

circa 1994 ?

A PROJECT TO EXPLORE

Have you been doing any good deeds recently?
Me? hmmm...
apart from cleaning the prayer altar, buying my staff some free lunches, and not yell at the waitresses.. nope, i didn't do much good deeds..
And no one approaches me to sell flags too.. No beggars around the area too.. But I supposed none of these are considered any major life changing contribution :)
Personally, I have a soft spot for older people.. hence I think I have a tendency to steer towards helping on old-people-related issues. I couldn't stand the agony looking at those 70 years old uncle near my place who have to lug a bicycle full of old carton boxes to the recycle centre in hope of selling it to afford a day's meal.
Then there are also cases of old mothers who have to work their ass and life off to make a living for a bunch of useless children who knows only to ask for money and not be able to give the comfort of a peaceful live to the 2 person who gave them life. Sometimes I wish money is not an issue to all rising issue in the society.
Apparently, despite money not being able to buy happiness, it is still considered one of the main aspect in lots of issues in the society.
No money means no means of providing a platform to help the lesser fortunate people in any way. I mean.. if u want to help some African kids who are starving and u are in Malaysia, u can't be making a walking trip to Africa with 2 cans of tuna and a loaf of bread in ur bag in hope that u can help the starving kids. It's a great thought of course, but doesn't seem possible with a SINGLE effort. But if u have a 1000 people with 2 cans of tuna each and a loaf of bread,the next step would be to figure out how to transport these to the kids.. and make sure it gets to the kids and not being fed to the dolphins in the sea =P  (of course the dolphins need help too, but a different mode of help)
Now u see why it's never easy to be a philantrophist.. with insufficient money..?
But don't worry.. I am not asking for your penny or pounds or rupees to buy cans of tuna :)
Just asking for a bit of kindred spirit to click


(U know... just like how some of u help me to be 2 cents richer by clicking on my nuffnang ads =P )

of course after u clicked on it, look for PROJECT EXPLORER AND VOTE.

What is ProjectExplorer.org?



Our Mission: To provide a global cultural experience through film and multimedia materials aimed at fostering the next generation of global citizens.

Founded in 2003 by Jenny M Buccos, ProjectExplorer.org is a nonprofit organization (501c3) that produces free, online global travel series. Designed for family and classroom, ProjectExplorer.org provides students with access to peoples and places they may never have seen or knew existed.


Over the last decade, the emphasis placed on global education has significantly increased in primary and secondary education. Students and educators are no longer limited by the geographic locations of their places of learning; technology can literally bring the world to the classroom. ProjectExplorer.org’s Award-winning* online film series, photos, travel blogs, and encyclopedia-style research are provided free-of-charge. ProjectExplorer.org’s programs cover multiple subject areas that foster cross-cultural understanding.

To accomplish its mission, ProjectExplorer.org relies on and continues to seek partnerships from corporate and government sponsors, as well as individual supporters. It is with their help that ProjectExplorer.org is made available free-of-charge to the learners of the world, so that we all might better understand one another.

It’s time to Go Global with ProjectExplorer.org!


*ProjectExplorer.org is a 2009 recipient of a prestigious Parents’ Choice Gold Award, selected for the highest production standards, universal human values and a unique, individual quality that pushes the series a notch above others.

Jenny is an advocate for children and education.
Winnie my friend is an advocate for abandoned stray dogs.
And I would also like to do something for the old people.
But in the mean time, if you are still doing some soul searching to see where u are inclined to.. give the children and education a click  :)
Even if u prefer dogs more than kids, no harm helping out in terms of mouse-click so that Project Explorer can have enough fundings to help people rite?

http://www.projectexplorer.org/about.php


And u can check out some cool videos made in regards to GLOBAL CITIZENSHIP here too :

http://goodglobalcitizen.ning.com/

Maybe u will be inspired to do up a video? After all I don't see much Malaysian .. in fact any Malaysian videos :)

Me? I haven't been able to derive what Global Citizen meant for me  :D

TIRED

Do u have a purpose? To live till 60 or 80 years of age?
At 30, I am very very tired.
Been weeping a lot lately out of no particular reason. I wept while driving. While stuck in the jam. While stopping at traffic light. While watching TV. While waiting to sleep.
I am very tired. VERY tired.
I realised this routine-d life of mine only leave me with 3 hours a day for my personal time. Sometimes 2.5 hours only if I am not speeding.
No amount of =(  =(  =( can express how TIRED i am.
I think I wept because I am tired. Of life. Of routines. I am beginning to see nothing ahead of me.
I am beginning to accept that life is a cycle of no particular reason. Mothers bear children. If she is lucky she will have children to care for her thru old age. If she is not that lucky, most probably she will die out of paying debts for the children's education fund and what-so-ever.
I always tell PC to give her mom the silent treatment for not allowing a 30 years old woman to stay out later than 11pm. Or walk past her whenever the mom decides to start the preaching session on how miserable is the life of the daughter. I do not know how she cope. Because I do not know how to cope too..
I am tired of my duties.. I am beginning to feel that my presence is a process for me to pay back in the form of responsibility.. which I have dutifully perform all the years...
.
I
AM
TIRED
.............

Over

in exactly 10 months time most probably and I will need to get a new job. Soon! Maybe I should try harder. The last time i applied to the brewery, I  screwed it up with my over-enthusiasm over free drinks. I think I must have kept chanting " I like to drink and I can drink up everything in your brewery" which sort of frightens the MD   >__<   I remember using the phrase as a full stop to every sentences *__*

I hate job-hopping, but ....... bah.... I had a bad day.. and can't go on.. and someone won the bag holder from Alicewonders !!!  why am i not winning anything??

see how luck also is not on my side??

sien...

A Matter of Mind

For the past couple of weeks, been contributing to the succession of Hoergarden and Kilkenny against the generic Carlsberg and Heineken. I would really like to be able to tell people that I am an alcoholics. I won't mind being labeled as a problematic person undergoing incontrollable urge to drink and labeled an alcoholic. The very least, people know me for something.. 'Hey!! That's the alcoholic bitch I told ya all about!' That's really something to put a mark in their mind. Enough to justify my presence have been felt. Though maybe in a negative way as perceived. But I do not regard that as negative. If one day people gossip about me being kept by some old fug as a sex toy, I accept with open arms and boobs. I am glad that my acts are acknowledged despite some thinking I am such a bitch.. but hey!! at least i got an old fug who can keep me.. as a pet and u have a boy friend to pay for =P
But
But
But
I am not hardcore enough to be an alcoholic.. i only get to enjoy the sinful drink when the prosecutor from terengannu returns to KL for seminars and exams..
I am also not qualified to be kept, simply because I have smaller boobs compared to the clerk next door. Who has 3 heads. Get it? Get it?   =P

Ming were telling us about the most common cause of cancer - stress. Which I pondered for 2 days.
Very true.
I have also put that in my list of possibilities that will bring to my own death.
Committing suicide, tho in the list but does not top the list.  Tho there are many a times, I felt like speeding and ram the car off the flyover. I wanted to feel what it feels like to die with flying motion..
Cutting ownself is too much a pain for coward like me. I still prefer the ramming and die of panic and got crushed and closes the chapter of life in a blink.
I also don't want to be raped to death. That's cruel. To die with no underwear intact. And end up being found in a sewage covered with everyone's poop.
Have you wondered if one can cry to death? I tried doing so and banged my head on the wall. It didn't bleed, but only damn painful. And I am worried I may turn dumber but survived.
I think I have found my own death point - cancer due to stress.
It's like a very certain thing that will materialise..Am beginning to understand how it develops too. When one is stressed, for no particularly BIG reason, complication to breathe occur. Head suddenly felt heavy. The mind often than not keep having whirlwind of stuff to think.About everything.. anything.. but all things seemed more like an issue than a solution. Everything seem to be at the wrong side of perspective..
Yes, I have this on a daily basis..
And while having whirlpool of thoughts dashing into minds, I sometimes managed to envisions stuffs and issues that I have been searching for an answer to.... among which is the principle to stand up for what you think is something that you ought to voice out. with proper facts of course and reasonable reasoning. I have forgotten these traits for some time. WHich I do realise but always brushes it off.. always reminding I am just not good enough to be opinionated. And I do not have the freedom of speech simply because I am not a perfect person.
Yes, that is just how fragile I am despite having a loud voice and daring to grab hold of people's groin just for a dare to challenge session...  :/
And today, I vow to change..drastic or not.. in fact, it's not a change.. merely back to what used to be there..
And many other things to come too... there may not be much time left, since the chances of me dying early is quite high.. so I shall and must take things one day at a time..
To make a vow is a stressful ambition. To materialise the vow made is equally stressful if not traumatically stressfull. To think of the consequences is to build more stress..
Battered stress today by falling asleep in the car for an hour in the parking lot
Tomorrow shall be better... hopefully..
What a panache... a cancerous cell... benign stress...

Be who u are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind..

u mind?

leave me alone...

i really nid to sob to detoxify the cells within...