The Dainty Tiger

Details :
Songket prints for the skirt - to ensure we dont miss out the artistic feast in our Malaysian culture
The bottom edging of the sampin - to again signify the sections in a kain batik - just in case the entire world don't know we wear kain batik to shower if you stay nearby riverside.
So-called batik prints for the striped - just so people know Malaysia too have batik besides Indonesia
Tengkolok headgear with stripe - to ensure the stripey details makes it more apparent for anyone to spot them
Irrelvant vest - to keep warm perhaps
Nehru collar malay mens' wear - justifiable
Orange persimmon color top to give contrast of the entire outfit
All time yellow base  with black stripe to dignify a BERSIH nation, the tiger of bravery and whatever
Some weird brownish stripe in between the black stripe - most probably wrong printing or the need to enhance details of the stripe ( I think its more of  wrong printing)
The same muddy brown on the ladies kebata edges - again confused on what is best to match the persimmon orange satin base since they have already made the wrong printing on the songket-batik-sampin
Lots of lanyards - because malaysian just love collecting lanyards from everywhere they have gone to - because it shows people they have been SOMEWHERE.

Possible symptoms based on the above characters : GREEDY / SUPERFICIALLY ARTISTIC 

Cause of action :  1 mind have lesser output, 2 heads are better than one. The entire feedback from 12 minsitries : ministry of arts, cultural and whathever, ministry of agriculture, ministry of information and technology, ministry of sports among others brings an incredible outcome that surely will satisfy all.

Cure : scroll to the next post and hope for free ice cream in case anyone wins..

I love my country :)

Selamat Happy Merdeka..  when will I get some beauty subsidy?

I Need a Minute Off please

I should be aggresively doing review post in YSK than typing lame post here that doesn't even nudge my own interest..
This is most probably the 5th times I bought something from Asos.  Tried it on and kept it back in the plastic pack.. In hope that one day I will shape up and slim down and wear it like a boss!

I guess I will never have the determination to go down to a Size 10 or maintain at a healthy 12 without a beer belly to flaunt :(

shapelessly boring....

belly belly rise like a valley

messshhhhhhhhhhh

I wonder will I ever encounter a day when I have to seek medical treatment because of some chronic disease that could have gotten into me due to unhealthy lifestyle - like those 'growth', heart attack (ate too much fat food), kidney failure ( drink so little water). I sometimes wonder how do I face up with life if I do ever get any of these.. I mean, to catch a cold and have a headache to me is excruciatingly painful. 

I have zero tolerance to pain. I don't know how certain people can go thru it on a monthly basis. 

If one day I do have those sickness, I hope it's not as painful and dreadful as pictured :(

If it is, I would be glad to end it a.s.a.p

The urge to continue my pursue in yoga is swelling out of a sudden. While I was trying to repharse opening prayers for Odissi while warming up, I uttered 'Yogena Citta ..' that is used for yoga and not dance class!  :S

I am again drained out of energy of late. Not because I have a 'queen control' boss again who picks on everything and anything. I have used up my energy in alot of things.. And I still am not able to brush off my carelessness at work! :(

There is so much expectation on me from alot of parties. I can no longer be a 24 hours customer service counter to all. I cannot satisfy every party.. I need some time doing nothing for ownself..

I am so occupied it feels like a clot of lard in my arteriol :(

Things That Makes You Happy

What would be the thing that you think would make your day?
As I scroll down the news feed in my Facebook  reading shoutout from friends, I do sense that alot of us are attempting to do alot of things to make life complete. Or I would say to fill the void of being in a blank state of mind. Or in the very least, let other people in our friends' list know that we are leading a LIFE.

Some find joy in cooking. Some find joy in snapping 9,456 pictures of their kids in juts a single day, trying not to miss any single second of their child's development. Yes, not a single glance of that darn baby is left out. Some of course find joy in self adoration - like me.

Self stalking..

Today, I wish to be in deep thoughts, rendering complicated words that can mesmerise you.. making you salivate at the reading of my complexity of contents. I cannot find any single interesting issue that could have pricked upon me today ;(

Sometimes I am concerned.

On why I can eat 'yee mee' for every weekends with the same request to have extra egg and coupled with Nescafe.

On why I can have McD breakfast daily ordering the same thing day in and day out.

On why I can sleep with 4 pillows bundled on a single bed like a pile of rubbish.

On why I can linger around in my room that stores a million strands of my hair strewn on the floor.

On why I keep wishing the world will come to an end

On why I feel the need to look good, dress up but chose to stay at home camwhoring, idling, staring blankly at walls and not go see the other side of the world

Could this be like some aging steps to growing old like what Chindi is yapping about?

It's Saturday today. A not working Saturday. Pleasant.

Took me 3 hours to decide if I should run some errands, meet some friends and try flock off some of the dresses at home. 3 hours randomly self staring at my newly colored hair, checking out results from 2 hours of drenching in the LUS V line mask for a slimmer chin (yesterday), sending work related emails in a bid to impress boss (only to forget he is 3 levels lazier than I am and sometimes asked me why do I keep sending / cc him emails).

I finally decided to finish this post here. Now. Without much content. Because my thoughts were never deep enough to have a proper content.

And I want to go downstairs to get a bowl of 'yee mee' with extra egg coupled with iced cold Nescafe now =_=

(if you notice, the title for the post were not even relevant... that was chosen 3 weeks back when I was slightly happy. I am not that happy today...)

kthxbai..

Lizard oh Gizzards

I seriously hate this darn creature.. so much more gross than the dirty crockcroaches. Interestingly, there isn't any cockroaches at home but there is like an entire Joe Lizardy family clan monopolising the bottom of the sofa couches and every dark corner possible tat they can locate with their darn gross GPS and pervetic stare.

So I spotted a big fat juicy cold looking one, looking like a dinosaur lying near the cabinet where my lens casing are and next to a dust bin, next to my room's door!! At midnight. It didn't move and was lookign fresh as ever. Tried jumping and create some motion on the floor and the stupid thing was haningin on like a cool dude!!! Hate it!!!!! Y U NO Scare of me??

Checked again at 12.35am
Then 1.30am. Then 2.15am.
Then 3.00 am.
Then 3.54am.

Y U NO LEAVE MY TERRITORY!!!
Yes I was awake in hope that the stupid darn cold 'alligator' would wake up from his pervetic glaring sleep and leave me alone!

It's pretty disgusting and not to mention I'm known to have a flair in my imagination.
I literally felt it.
When I was in the shower, it feels like it's raining lizards.
When I was munching chips while watching, it feels like I am having fried lizards :S
When I sleep, I sometimes wonder if it does crawl over my face, pee on into my nostril and licked my ears and whip it's fragile tail onto my mouth !!!!

I woke up with a fever and a headache and an awfully weird feeling in my tummy. As if I have swallowed a lizard or the curse of the lizards have controlled me. The darn lizard was still staying stagnant in his cool position!

I had to endure the pain and dizziness and the purging feeling the entire day!!
Till Ma came home and I asked her to rid the lizard.

And at 9.30pm it was out of the house.

Guess what...

The dreadfull headache and the purging urge and the drowsiness are gone after that!!!

OMFG u darn gross animal!!! What an impact you made to my life!!


On a random note, to losers with doubts

Another Lunar Year

Another year, another week off to celebrate the frantically noisy celebration.
It was just a month back perhaps we made some resolution and reflection on how life was treating on the past year, and now.. we have to sorta make the same pondering again.
Because it is new year again... for the Chinese -_-

Now you see why I have very little emotion / expression towrads celebration? It is like an act for the day which you will have to again act when another celebration comes. The comes Independance Day and then u start pondering. Then comes some whatever dumpling festival, which will again make you ponder if you have been good for the  past 6 months or so. Then perhaps you start to feel a bit jibberish during the festival of lights - Deepavali and start to have a lighter moment on your mind to again start pondering... wha... a whole year of pondering and reflecting. When is the real work going to be done?? sheesshhhh....

I started the year feeling exactly what I am - a 33 years old woman. Who finally wants something for herself. And shall do something for herself. This is most probably very cliche, but I am very determined to work something out for myself this year. Perhaps not buying a house, because the price of property in Malaysia is not meant for working Malaysian.. Most probably I would  have to marry a head of triad member to be able to afford a decent bungalow of my own with glass walls. And no, dating bankers won't get the dream materialised. Trust me.. I knew of one who refused to pay for a RM16 meal for two!! Mother of all god!!!!

I think I am hot!! =P

This is also the first year for me to be out and away from the claw of this patriarch boss who have been clawing the life out of me for the past 6 to 8 years... *mother of all stones!!* I am happy of course to be able to come out. And I must say, of all the organisation I have worked for, this is most probably the longest but also the one I can't wait to get rid of. I realised there were softcopy of a lot of old documents from previous companies whihc most probably aged 8 years and above since the Ademco period. But come the end of my service in the batik hell office, I immediately gotten rid of all rubbish in my laptop. And also most probably the fastest time for me to get rid of all call cards. I still have call cards from Infotech Accord and Ademco and even Dnonce!! =D

Anyway, that's not the point of the post..

I am looking forward to build something. something. something.

I have kept my working stamina well. After all, I haven't stop working. In a way I have always know what I want and am now working in small steps to making it work.. Work is a pretty boring issue to even blog about, so I shall stop talking about it ;)

But on a brighter note, this new job is liking me! Or shall I say, I like my new job!!!

Damn obese angpau for someone who have been in the organisation for less than 3 months =D =D

And we have a very healthy lifestyle in the office =D

<3 <3

And talk about tying the knot... and no. I am not tying any knot. Nor even starting to create a knot.

I supposed when you are at my age, you start to arrive in a turning point where there are more things that matters besides getting a man by your side for the lifetime free sex consummation (does this word even exist?)

You have been thru the phases of going for movies, getting to know each other and text messaging each other before sleep. That was when you are 26 years old perhaps. But when you are 33, you have no time to get to know another person by going to the movies to study his/ her little gestures / preferences/ habits. I suppose, you either get straight to the point, or you make a direct point that you are not interested. So that you can save more time and get back to work =D

I love Bill Rancic though ;) so random!!

Of course, there are also those that still hope that at 33, they may at the slightest possibility to get a clean shaven banker (who will pay for dinner), a matured businessman (best to be a virgin), a well built (but not gay) and perhaps a definitely good looking than Andy lau or whoever (and not attached) man to start a possible relationship and perhaps in a year time or 6 months go down the aisle ASAP (in a hurry to make babies!)

And then there are those who have not much preferences being attached or not. Because it simply isn't a matter of life and death. A holistic approach, I would like to call this :)
If you get someone to walk the rest of your life with, then it is fated that you won't die alone. But if you get no one to listen to your nag but can afford a dog as a lifetime companion ( hope it doesn't die before you) then it is also fated that you are bound to be foreveralone.

Actually, it is not difficult to get someone / anyone / whoever to be your other half. It is just a matter of how high have did you set your bar.

have you set your bar wide? I think I better save up for a dog instead -_-

By the time I want to wrap up for the post, I am kinda lazy to re-read what have been written. Hence I shall end post here having not much idea what was the initial intention of writing. As usual.

The Day Wont Come

... for me to be a kilogram lesser than 70kilogrammes.. why!!!

And today I am 71 kgs, exactly 1kg more than before Chinese New Year...

Like

The song that I loathe very much and the kind of sports I always wanted to do if I can shed off 10kg off my beer belly .....

Late Lame Post

Officially Day 1 of being without a job. (Twas on Saturday =P ) 

And the day started early ;)

Conveniently it is also Chic Pop today! :)

had a stroll in Chic Pop before heading to the Mofew briefing session on behalf of Peep and Supermodels.

So many aspiring entrepreneurs so enthusiastic in breaking ground via Mofew ;)

Don't really get the entire concept of Mofew and the existence of Amber Chia with the bunch of underweight girls who aspire to be models but with height lesser than me. But I suppose any exposure is good exposure. And Wei Ni is sure glad that she did not get herself a cow =D

I always love these marketing related event where you need to outdo others in terms of strategising. Perhaps, I have been slaving so long that it seems like a very automatic response to actually wanting to be part of the proposal doing act =D

Yesh!! I love getting myself into such dirt job of thinking how to sell and market stuff. Perhaps my 8 years of being in customer servicing, sales and marketing have shaped my mind to easily be triggered to operate when the word 'marketing' pops in. 

So, yeah! Today i was inspired =D

When I was with my friends during the briefing session of MOFEW. Suddenly there are so many stuff storming into my mind on what can be done IF I am the entrepreneur who will be doing a marketing plan to sell some lamp-shade inspired dresses. it sort of gives me hope that this world seriously is round and whatever that you can think of, can be marketed out as long as you know how to market it out. It is like, as long as you are determined to do something to reach out to people, there will be people listening to your idea and perhaps buy the idea. The EVENT itself is an idea. Which is now turned into a platform for technopreneurs to accept the challenge to face the public and show their ability to make create a niche and specialisation for whatever products and services they are offering.

It is a good platform if the contestant knows how to ride on the opportunity and utilise all avenues to maximise on promotion and branding without having to win it first, provided if they know how to go about doing it ;)

But bringing in Exabytes and easy.my is a great start to actually jive in the technology part of the online retailing. Because going online is seriously not all about fashion only! It is also about how a seller is able to use the latest of application to create a convenient platform for buyers with various buying habits. While at the same time having to put in mind that most local buyers have a lack of knowledge in purchasing online and that most of them DO NOT READ INSTRUCTION.

Left Mofew briefing and headed to Chic Pop again. managed to have a bite at the Bees. nothing great  after all! Or perhaps there wasn't much appetite available now that I have turned on the moolah saving mode.

I need to write, I need to do something,... I just need to get something done... and the day was full anyway..

Like a Lallang

Facts of life are sometimes pretty tough to digest.

Which could explain why most of the time we are covered with ego labelled as confidence We are confident much that what have been decided in this mind is correct and shall not undergo any scrutinisation of any other second or third party.

They call this the instruction of the heart.

We do sometimes question ourself if it is right or not because what is in front seems a bit peculiar to digest. But our heart says it is the right path. And those darn self help books always say to 'follow your heart'.

If I were to follow my heart, by now I most probably am jobless and having difficulty to get online. I would have to sell off my car and commute out of this freaking flat via smelly public transportation. 

Perhaps I won't be jobless. There should be some RM1200 a month kind of job as a barista in Starbucks if I am ever willing. I don't think I would want to borrow money. Because most probably I won't be able to pay back. 

Instead I did not follow my heart. I have to go against it and brave out in this concrete valley. Where what you say and what you wear does matter. It is not that bad after all. Some soreness of putting on fake smile. Aching of back due to extensive girdle wearing. It is all OK. Torturing it is, but is fine. Because I have bow down to the needs of the society. But I can take it so far. Because they reward me with notes that have values that pays for a living.

If I were to follow my heart, by now I could also most probably be having 3 kids by the name of Siu Ling, Siu Ming and Siu Koon or some sort. Living in some under-developed land somewhere North and having difficulty to raise 3 kids because milk ain't free. I am also most probably more fluent in Hokkien than in English. Afterall, who needs English in some old town that is only famous for some stupid savoury mee.

Instead I opted to go my own path without the hassle of a lesser competitive other-half. Because I knew it. I am Beyonce the concrete woman who wants a lil' glory and achievement in life. And not worry about when will Dumex will increase price of milk powder. I want to go far. Because I need a living. And I need to reclaim some dignity in the society. OK la.. I just want to be famous at least.

If I were to follow my heart, I would have un-friend so many people in Facebook that intrudes my freedom to camwhore and to speak my mind in a more bold manner. But that would mean I would most probably have 10 'friends' left. Instead I politely leave the rest of the 399 'friends' around. Just so some of them can make their own life miserable by having grudges on what I display, what I say. But I still get your attention and your visits to my blogs. Thank you.

Sometimes I wish I can be opinionated and have such random debates with much content ;

Unfortunately I don't know how to. It could only means that ;

- I am a simple person who don't think much than I need to in my life

- I am not deep in thought and unable to analyse a lot of things (not surprised because i only want to be famous most of the time, without thinking how)

- I have no clue at all on the direction I want in life (this is scary)

Perhaps this concludes why I always hope that the world will end. And all of us will die at the same time. Because I seriously do not want to die and go to hell with no friends.

Dying together should be less painful. Because you just die without much time to regret about what have not been doing. After all you are going to meet the rest of those people you have met while you were alive anyway. So that is just like going down to another level but ina group. I am OK with it. 

See how I am so simple in thoughts? 

I never question why am I a Buddhist. Perhaps I don't really care and I prefer to just accept it willingly. And perhaps make use of it. To have something, someone, some statues to ask for help when sales target are not met. Yeah, I am just that simple. Again I do not question if the asking for help works. Perhaps I shouldn't even analyse. Because I am still in the same job. Perhaps my cry for help does work. That's all and I shall not further analyse. Because I won't know how to and where do I start to ponder. 

Let me swing back my topic to what is intended - the heart and mind. (Darn! By now I have again forgotten what have I wanted to say earlier....)

I would like to believe that I am a heartless person. Or my ability to have some hearty judgement have been simmered with the greed of the world and later pasteurised into parts of my mind to form a lackadaisical output of action. In another word, I am simply not bothered / bland / neutral. While not forgetting I need to sustain a living and will have to go along with what the society have percepted us to be.

Wait... I think I may have sounded like a lallang..... with not much direction despite knowing my origin..

Oh gosh.. when will the world end?

I am like a broken garuda - who sways when the wind comes ;(

tomorrow I will use a toothpick to poke this annoying rashes or sort on my arms.. hmmph

Foodcourt

I have almost always failed to be excited going to a food court.

It's such boring place with dirty seats.

So many Chinese uncles and ah-boys who do not eat properly.

Food seems always over-oily.

Those disposable cutleries are simply irritating.

Perhaps that could be a reason why people cannot eat properly.

Whatever it is, I hate food court.

It's not cheap. It's not fun. 

Sellers keep talking in languages that I can't decipher.

Mee, meehoon or kuay teow in a different language 

That made me stood 10 seconds dumbfounded.

I swear I thought she asked me if I wanted pork

And I retorted - 'meehoon'

Shadows are created around you when you attempt to spoon out your food slowly.

The auntie with the entire 7 family members stood still behind you,

Harping on your leisurely attempt to finish up your meal fast fast fast

Oh how I despise foodcourt.

But I will still come again next week..

Do I have a choice?..

Purpose

All this long holidays are not doing me good.
So much eating and no activities. It's already Wednesday now. And tomorrow is Thursday.
The financial year end just ended. And there is a new year ahead.

Sometimes it is rather irritating to comprehend to this cycle that involves life, work, and everything that's literally, practically comes in a circular motion. There's birthday every year. So are new years. Chinese New Year, the Sikh New Year, malay New Year and all the new years that you can get. Then there is a beginning of a new calendar year. A new financial year for an operating company.

It's totally a big, never ending cycle. Every year, you have 1,23 strangers in Facebook to greet you Happy Birthday while you secretly hopes for a boyfriend / girlfriend. In my case, I hope to have more prosperity =P. And you blow some candles, eat some cakes and the next day is just another day. That you may or may not look forward to. But it is just another day. And the boyfriend / girlfriend is nowhere to be seen. In my case, I am still not prospering.

Then you have all the new years for all the race in the whole wide world. And you lit some lights, or sing some carols and burn some joss sticks and make more resolution for the coming phase of life - which is the new year after. And tomorrow is still the same. You go to work. Use your brain and work your ass off.

At each financial year end, there are targets to meet before it ends. And when it does end, there are more targets to meet for the next financial year end. So when exactly do I get a shit breather? And so now, while the financial year end is due to end tomorrow (1st Sept) I am now working on reports and marketing campaigns in order to attempt to achieve the next year target.

I.am.tired. Perhaps I slept too much. Perhaps I ate too much.

I sometimes wonder.
What is the purpose? The purpose of living. The purpose of life.
Of living a routine life. Going home to a stash of laundry that needs to be washed and folded later on.
Going thru the fridge to find something edible. Only to find nothing.

Having seated and start planning for the day after.
While feeling so bloated from eating stuff that the neighbours passes on. And this adds more issues to think about. Should I drink some laxative and kill the bloating? Would I get fat from constantly eating free passed on food. If I do turn fat, how do I face this cruel working world where looks matter before you can start talking about your big master grand plan in corporatising batik. but of course, there are some not very good looking people selling batik. And they usually do not score the deals as much...

The matter of the point here is not about me feeling fat, mind you. It's just a metaphor to

For the past couple of months, all I could think of is making enough to live a better life. but damn... I just realised, nothing is ever enough. And when is enough actually enough? Because it is still not enough as at now.
I worked till wee hours. I freelance in between meals and conversation and toilet time and sometimes travel time. Then I go home and administer this Pasar Night where I deal with jerks who send me gentle reminders that they need money to pay for room rental and need to sell of their impulse clothes purchases. ( seriously, who ask you to buy clothes when you cant afford room rents?). Occasionally I deal with non-business minded 
cowards who want to make it but don't want to risk breaking anything and relenting to let me utilise my expertise in reaching their goals and my goals.

I know I can't conquer the world. You may conquer the whatever Himalaya or Everest shit, but that's not considered as conquering world. At least not even with a purpose if you ask me.

I remembered reading somewhere about a Rinpoche in Nepal or Tibet that tells about the story of the King of Bhutan who does not allow any sources of external exposure like television or any form of media to reach it's people. And the people were happy with their current state of  life. Most probably eating big fat juicy rats caught in some molehills and still happy. Until the day when Nepal or Tibet (I can't recall) decides to open its door for modernisation and the people gets a feel of the outside world, they start to question and compare their state of life with others out there. I supposed they are like me in my current situation too- what the hell am I doing now, and what is the entire purpose of eating juicy rats when people are eating this juicy Grilled Chicken Burgers from McD.

I was about to continue writing this in much sorrow when I was remembered something. About this person whom I have avoided because of the constant preaching I get from her on how perfect her life is and how me, and perhaps everyone else in the community should follow her steps in attaining nirvana-hood to a perfect life. She never have praises about others, but only to herself. And most probably her IT gadgets. She can go on and on about her greatness. I followed the flow of this murky river till one day I decides that enough is enough. Why would I want to continue bathing myself in a murky river when there is a sea of fresh water out there. And so life goes on for me and the rest of us who felt that it is better off to stay out of this negative stash of Thing. I totally forgotten about this person existence until she made some metaphoric comparison that resembles me in this small lil world of Facebook.

I learnt something despite my grudges today - that I have long learnt to let go of things deem unnecessary and look forward to more things ahead. Meanwhile,some people kept standing at the murky bay splashing water hoping that the fishes would come to the shore ;) We made a conclusion. We (some mutual friends) concluded that this person is seriously not happy about her own life hence she have to distract own self with unimportant things like forever holding grudges to unnecessary humans like me or any other person who have avoided her regal nagging.

I should be grateful I managed to escape from the murky water. And have lots of great friends around me who takes me as it is. I should be grateful that I still have a job that outsiders can see how passionate I am when talking about what I do. I should also be grateful that I at least own a roof and a vehicle unlike the anneh who guards the apartment unit in return of some Rukun Tetangga allowance to make ends meet.

I think I may have an objective in this humble little life of mine - to compliment those that I bump into thru out my journey in life..

great friends for life ;)       |        the VRNDA album that I finally managed to get hold of

Happy Ganesha Chaturthi!

Namaste

Bila Minda Ku Mula Berbicara

Kalau nak di banding, sememangnya saya bukanlah antara yang rakyat yang ada semangat patriotik. Sebolehnya, impian ku hendak bertapak di Negara  Laos dan tidak pulang ke tanah tumpah darah dan peluh ku ini.

Benci aku tengok jalan yang sesak sentiasa.. Benci aku tengok kerani lembab di kaunter-kaunter pendaftaran. Benci aku bila terpaksa berhadapan dengan mereka mereka yang kurang kompeten dan mengucap serta melaungkan keluhan bila hujah yang mereka cuba sampaikan tidak kesampaian. Benci lagi aku bila terpaksa berhadapan dengan mereka yang tidak sewawasan semasa bekerja. Kalau boleh, hendak aku kisar mereka dan tuangkan saja jus kisaran ke dalam longkang.

Benci aku bila membaca bahasa kebangsaan yang di tercemar dengan penggunaan tatabahasa yang salah dan kata singkatan yang terlampau tidak dapat di fahami. Bukanlah hendak di katakan pemahaman bahasa ku yang begitu jitu dan persis ini tiada tandingannya...

Bahasa ke html yang tak terproses?

Benci lagi bila aku kekadang terpaksa berhentikan kereta untuk pemeriksaan polis dan di beri sebab-sebab yang tidak dapat aku fahami yang berkisar tentang bagaimana isu-isu yang mungkin telah aku timbulkan itu dapat di tangani dengan sedikit duit kopi.. Tahulah aku cantik.. tapi itu bukan sebab yang munasabah tahu! =P

Menuduh aku racist memang bukan suatu tuduhan yang munasabah sekiranya anda terasa bagai di perli bila membaca luahan ku. Kenapa aku bukan racist? Tengok saja kepetahan ku berbicara!! Boleh mengalahkan bonda di kampung! Koleksi baju kurung ku bukan main hebat. Koleksi sari ku sememangnya mengalahkan Jalan Masjid India. Sekejap! Mungkin aku racist... Aku benci tarian naga Cina yang bergolek-golek atas lantai O.o

Mungkin aku seorang insan yang INDIVIDUALISTIK. Kalau boleh jangan di ganggu hidup aku. Berperang lah kamu. Saling bunuh membunuhlah kamu. Saya tidak kisah. Asalkan jangan kacau hidup aku. Aku sememangnya tak kisah. Janji aku tak rugi.

Mungkin itu suatu persepsi yang salah. Walaupun aku taklah semuda mana lagi, tapi rasanya masih lagi mampu bergelar belia yang bakal melapisi negara dan menyumbang keada anjakan paradigma negara.
Maaflah kerna aku tidak mampu dan tidak ada wawasan untuk berbuat demikian. Kemungkinan besar jasaku takkan di kenang pun. Tapi tidak apa. kerana sememangnya falsafah hidupku hanyalah satu : jauhkan emosi dari hidup. Janji hujung bulan, profesion ku memberikan pulangan gaji dan hidupku di teruskan.

Isunya sekarangnya... falsafahku sentiasa tergendala. Di sebabkan kegusaran yang timbul setiap kali berita berkenaan perjuangan antara mereka yang cintakan negara dengan mereka yang meng-komersialkan negara untuk tujuan masing-masing yang tidak aku peduli sangat pun.
Bukannya aku gusarkan apa.. Hidup di kota metropolis ni, dua isu sahaja yang sentiasa berlegar di minda : bilalah jalan tak sesak ni. Dan satu lagi : takunya beg ku kena sambar / anak ku kena rogol.

Buat masa ini, saya pilih isu pertama : macam mana aku nak pergi appointment kalau ada road-block macam marathon ni!? Ni mesti jalan sesak lagi....   ;(


Disclaimer :
Luahan di atas hanyalah luahan semata-mata yang tidak berbaurkan politik, agama mahupun budaya. 
Kemungkinan besar penulis menghadapi sindrom kemurungan dan tahap Satu dan sindrom syok sendiri tahap kronik bila memikirkan bagaimana keadaan jalan di pagi esok.

Things To Do During Chinese New Year

1- Pretend invisible ang ignore glances from bypassing relatives
2- Pretend dumb  so that people find it a hassle to chat you up
3- Pretend busy so people are afraid they may disturb u from making a major decision
4- Pretend you are suffering from high cholesterol and blood pressure and have symptoms of diabetes so you can be excused from eating butter cookies


 And some reasons why I hate Chinese New Year;


1- it's just the moment of the year when people vow to have a better year. The moment they are wayy to excited celebrating the new year with liquor and some mahjongs, the have already forgotten their vow.
2- it's also the time of the year when people turn hypocrites. all flaws are hidden. everyone try to portray the best of what they can offer, from household interior to their first day clothing U_U
3- people have a sudden mood to be competitive. housewife walk around the neighbourhood comparing new year adornment, aunties go around passing cookies for all to try trying to make sure they have wide acclaimation that their cookies is the best!
4- people turn into activities deemed addictive ; buy Toto, gamble like there's no tomorrow, drink , drink and more drink, buy more lottery.
5- people do not practise the need to be thrifty. after all its the time to splurge and show off the wealthy side of the family. wallet may be thinning, bank account may be depleting but no one cares. there is an instant and simultaneous need to show off.
6- it's also time where sugar consumption are high, cholesterols too accumulating, carbs too are getting a place in the abs. ya, this is the time to be unhealthy. 
7- host turn into darn hostile people, practically forcing guest to try out the food and junks spread they purposely get ready when they see u coming and hoping to hear a word of compliment on the junks.
8- the concept of giving money make ppl frustrated and the concept of receiving money excite some in. my case, i hate both. 


I find it lame.
In fact as years passess, it has become so mundane and lame that this year, we had Maggi mee for reunion dinner. Me and Ma. Very illogical to slaughter a chicken for 2 women's meal. And I adjourned to The Paradise, in Sheraton KL for that once in a blue moon clubbing. Yeah, I am not as cool as perceived. I have a lump of boring, nerdy, workaholic and staunchly religious group of friends.
If I did not see wrongly, I seem to be the only Chinese in the club =D Surrounded by skinny Malay mois clad in the tightest cheongsam. Pretty tacky as it may sound as the deejay kept yelling Gong Xi Fa Cai amidst the R&B line ups.

Oohh... did I tell you I love my new MNG tiered toga, X'mas pressie from boss ;)
Ahem... in XS-S size and I can fit!! I think it's the African sizing they are labelling there =P

Earrings from Vincci Accessories, MNG tiered dress 

 In auspicious red tiered jersey material
 T-Bar heels from Fashion Barrage

(sorry for the last drunk look. minum memburukkan mekap)

damn short, but I loike!!

I so prefer gulping down Vodka and raising hand at no reason everytime the DJ asked to do so than going house to house to eat pineapple tarts ;(
I hate waking up to the day when the neighbours' lobby are overflowing with many  pairs of visitors' shoes that remind me of the festivity...
I think in general, I hate happy events O.o  like X'mas, Chinese New Year, Labour Day, or any other days when people are happy...because I ain't happy. When was I ever happy?

last last minute baru nak beli limau!!

On the first day of the Chinese, I wore a thrifted maxi from OldScoolBoutique, paired with my quilted working bag and slipper from Bangkok. Nothing smells new!
Ma was disgusted with me as she spotted me coming out of the shower with my hair all wet on this aupicious first day. Now she would hate me for ruining her slight chances of striking Toto for the year as I have just washed away not only the vodka and ciggie smell, but also all the possible 'ong-ness' that I may have on my head O.o

Kegiatan di tahun baru of my relatives..

Little cousin getting married. Read : Little

 flat chested whatever!!!.. can you spot the criss cross waist structure? The criss cross works wonder in forcing a slimmer sillhoutte though I think the lack of a well endowed bust really did screwed me up. I think I may have flashed my nip sticker... ;(
Dress from Le Ann Maxima

New Year Resolution : to wear more short dresses for the year and ditch the 'dickhead' style ;)

How was your new year?

That Blazer

This is a gruelling week .... =( Never in my life had I been thru anything as painful as what I am feeling now.. Now not the broken heart part.. but the back ache and souring shoulder blade yelling to be chopped off from the body.. According to a  doctor friend, there could be a possibility I sprained my neck or I may have 'spondylosis' OMG! Whatever sponge is that, please leave me alone!! I hate the smell of hospitals and the quietness in it.. though hospitals nowadays are fully equipped with Dome and Starbucks further siphon more money from the sick bats...

I tried all methods to stop the pain

Mei said to plaster my last 2 fingers. With surgical tape.. which I don't have

Still don't have

And nothing works! With an addition to another session of physiotherapy in Pantai where it's all conversation with minimal action

RM5 gold plated ball whatever sticker from Daiso

Mei and I decided to spend the day off from Thaipusam thronging The Curve and Ikea, in hope to get some pussy willow (for her). We ended up forgetting about pussy willow and got loads of stuff to wear =D

Vintage weird top from enspired which I didn't get. Pretty much looked like something I could sew

There wasn't much to see in Enspired, except for a stall that sells Japan vintage apparels! Woot! Vintage is dorky ok. But vintage is Japan is sometimes precious. Japan is one of the more established fashion hub. That we can't deny. Having said that, the Japs too are very particular with quality. Whihc is good! Because whatever that they may want to throw and turn into vintage will normally be good in quality too. Not to mention trendier ;)
Yup, junk is good sometimes!

Vintage houndstooth blazer. Notice the titanium necklace? RM5 from Daiso! =P

Yeah, I am cheap..

With organza trimming wei!

tassled lapel :)

cun! those small lil details ;)

The above were a bit outdated as it happened a week ago =P

As at now, I am still in pain.. To add to it, my blood pressure is also high 163/83 

Can you beat that?

The signs of aging - back pain, hi blood pressure..

Barely a week to Chinese New Year, I think....A celebration that I dreaded more than being stuck in a jam.

The most dreaded mandarin orange exchange season!! And being forced to eat cookies and drink fizzy drinks.. AArghh it scares me just to think that the dreaded period is coming annually to haunt me ;(

Penniless Week

This is most probably one of the weeks where I have to patronise the ATM machine as much as I go to the loo.
I have also stopped the luxury of swiping the sleek credit card for fuel anymore. It's pretty obvious that the only description of transaction I have printed on the monthly statement reads out SHELL - HAB JALAN KEPONG all the way for 2 pages. It is also due to the banning of the credit card usage have I now realised my cash flow diverts to nowhere but to fuel up =(

Now. Now.. I really do wish that this hooha about the world coming to an end will really materialise soon. Because, if it doesn't, that would simply means that I will have to again in debts for another 6 more years trying to pay off credit cards expenses.


And I can resist no temptation to seeing anything with a bare back. Zero To Ten is a brand available in Cats Whiskers. I did not realise that it is a reputable brand until recently went I went for the fashion buyers meeting in conjunction with MIFW and had a browse of The Guide book for the designers who are featured for the year. Little did I realised that Zero To Ten is a designer house based in that little corner of the Jalan Kenanga =D

And I want that bareback dress!!!

Scoop back dress!!!

I don't really have a nice toned back. Neither do I have a bosom-ful frontal melons. But I really would love to show something, but not the crotch!! I guess I am left with the only option of showing my back. But then again, when do you see me in any of these? 
I guess I lived too deep in my own fantasy of being a stage performer....

0-10

Fantastic cuts and use of material by a Jye'Ik

Another great cut to drool!

Some day, I hope to have my own collection to display. Not like the above which clearly requires a lot of funding and passion to compete in the fashion scene. I would be happy just to have a small humble collection under the label of Cyn-ergy =D  =D  =D  I just thought about tha name when I was stuck in the traffic today! I had Cyn-ergy and Cyn-ful, which I think both sounded more like some IT gadgets or sort... 

You can stop wondering if I will be making batik dresses and sort since that's what I am currently doing in my day job. Nope. I am looking at creating pieces for the dickheads with a sense of sex-lut-ism =P  

Go figure....

My working attire is going less and less corporate I am getting worried..

Cardi - Gift from Mei (from Cotton On)

Leopard Tunic top - Eff-Bombs

Skort - Cotton On

Dirty sandals - Bangkok ( cannot see =P)

I Let You Win

Freedom of expression only exist in the confinement of the bathroom. Or perhaps when you are locked in your room under total nakedness. I have lost that kind of freedom, but only realised that now. Like, NOW.

Instead of giving more proactive thoughts, I have learnt that perhaps no talk is better than talk a lot.. Which resulted to me spending additional expenses on more supplements to aid in relieving suppression of angst and opinions.

It's really tiring sometimes to try to contribute parts of your effort into something that you thought have been a part of you, only later to be given a one-liner 'potong stim' statement like FOR WHAT?

People say Calcium and magnesium is good for depressed people

I have also realised most women wants to win in a discussion. Those who do not consider themselves winning or losing are those who just do not find a point to compete with you. ASP Ming and PC is really good in playing this part of the role. I hate losing. But now, I gave way. It's really tiring to even try to provide feedback, only to be bombarded with a one liner. I let you win. Now I know that what I say doesn't really matter. Because you need to win. Fine. I go yawn..

For the longest time ever, I have not been stepping into KLCC. Perhaps 6 months? Since I no longer have any appointment around. Till today. It hasn't changed much. Except that most shops have rotated their position. Stepping into malls sort of reminded me again of how much I dread window shopping. But that did not stop me from buying. I just need to get something to make sure its worth the trip :D

The ring for Sha-Lene!

I am keeping =P

That Last Week

This is just how freaking hot the afternoon soon was for the whole of the past week. Those damn heat have gotten into me that I felt sick like how one would feel sick when being pestered by direct selling companies' agents to join their prestigious agency. peerghhh!!

It was a hectic week running away from those persuasive, invasive, agressive beings from that multi level marketing agency who have almost liquidate RM5500 of my savings in attempt to lure me into getting a pile of anti aging products and some prospects of retiring by 35 years of age. 

They are so convincing in acts. And I wasn't that bad either in my own act of convincing =D. So I flee and had to later endure to a couple of days of calls and text messages asking me to drop by to sign over some documents and be ripped of my RM5500. brrrr!!!!  Nah! I give you this =P

I have nothing against people who dream of making money out of other by by teaching them to make more money for the superior in order to make money for their ownself. And I must say it takes a lot of guts to be the person who tries to make money from another person by preaching to the other person they can make more money from few more other person just by helping them to make money. 

But I have also long realised that this won't be my path to make  money or a living. I can't explain why. I just know it's not my cup of tea in life. 

Sales and marketing is a very interesting topic and in fact a very challenging kind of job to be in. I have so far sold security integration system, alarm system and now batik. I have attended job interviews to sell tiles and toilet bowls (which I was kinda excited to pursue initiallly!) That's not too many stuff that I have experienced. Now, I sometimes resort to helping to stand in for friends in selling in bazaars. 

I personally got into this wonderful world of sales by chance. It was never a job option for me. It never occured to me that sales and marketing is something that I can handle. I always thought that I will end up in some office, looking at documents ( but not finance, law or scientific research documents!) and be able to go up the corporate ladder and helm some high position in some MNC. 

And I shall stop talking about 'sales and marketing' because by now I have got bored of the  contents that I wanted to blog....!

2 apples a days - I just found out that apples are not that bad to eat 

For the second time, I had to drive to KLIA again for appointment. Took me 1 hour and half to go and another hour to drive back. I always feel jittery and stressed when having to plan for an appointment far from my radar of road knowledge. I seriously do not know the actual way to reach Concorde KLIA. Not the first time. And not the second time also. But an appointment is an appointment and for the sake of securing some contracts, it didn't leave me with much choice.

Most probably you don't get it why do I feel the jitters despite being a driver for the past decade. Because until today, while I do not know all the roads in Klang Valley and ouside of Klang Valley and despite that my job requires me to drive around a lot, I refused to succumb to technology in order to find my way. 
I am just going to stick to referring to those old school sign board and drive around the same place for 3 times before I attempt on another route. Only to repeat the same mistake. Eventually I will arrive. It may just take some extra time..

This is how it looked like at 120kmph 

Next Best Man After a Boyfriend

..Would be the male hairstylist whom you have turned to once every 2 months to get a trim =)
Something which I just realised when I went over to him for a cut today.
How many men would want to take the effort to soap your hair, give it a good scrub, neck massage for 20 mins or so and not complain (let's not remind about the stylist getting paod for the services).
How many men would get to know you schedule in life and ensure he finishes work on your head on time for you to be able to leave for the next event.
How many men would be at a close proximity - face-to-face to stare at your fringe and carefully snips off stray hair strand by strand just to make sure you have the best cut fringe ;)
How many men would be sensitive enough to run and get you an extra towel and help you rub off the foam he left on your face from his strong stroke of shampooing acts.
And exactly how many men are keen to get you extra cover to cover your legs and another towel to cover you boobs so that he will not be accused of peeping while washing your hair?
I love my shairstylist ;)