Today I Am Suhana

Another Lunar Year

2012-02-07T19:23:00.002+08:00

Another year, another week off to celebrate the frantically noisy celebration.
It was just a month back perhaps we made some resolution and reflection on how life was treating on the past year, and now.. we have to sorta make the same pondering again.
Because it is new year again... for the Chinese -_-

Now you see why I have very little emotion / expression towrads celebration? It is like an act for the day which you will have to again act when another celebration comes. The comes Independance Day and then u start pondering. Then comes some whatever dumpling festival, which will again make you ponder if you have been good for the past 6 months or so. Then perhaps you start to feel a bit jibberish during the festival of lights - Deepavali and start to have a lighter moment on your mind to again start pondering... wha... a whole year of pondering and reflecting. When is the real work going to be done?? sheesshhhh....

I started the year feeling exactly what I am - a 33 years old woman. Who finally wants something for herself. And shall do something for herself. This is most probably very cliche, but I am very determined to work something out for myself this year. Perhaps not buying a house, because the price of property in Malaysia is not meant for working Malaysian.. Most probably I would have to marry a head of triad member to be able to afford a decent bungalow of my own with glass walls. And no, dating bankers won't get the dream materialised. Trust me.. I knew of one who refused to pay for a RM16 meal for two!! Mother of all god!!!!

I think I am hot!! =P

This is also the first year for me to be out and away from the claw of this patriarch boss who have been clawing the life out of me for the past 6 to 8 years... *mother of all stones!!* I am happy of course to be able to come out. And I must say, of all the organisation I have worked for, this is most probably the longest but also the one I can't wait to get rid of. I realised there were softcopy of a lot of old documents from previous companies whihc most probably aged 8 years and above since the Ademco period. But come the end of my service in the batik hell office, I immediately gotten rid of all rubbish in my laptop. And also most probably the fastest time for me to get rid of all call cards. I still have call cards from Infotech Accord and Ademco and even Dnonce!! =D

Anyway, that's not the point of the post..

I am looking forward to build something. something. something.

I have kept my working stamina well. After all, I haven't stop working. In a way I have always know what I want and am now working in small steps to making it work.. Work is a pretty boring issue to even blog about, so I shall stop talking about it ;)

But on a brighter note, this new job is liking me! Or shall I say, I like my new job!!!

Damn obese angpau for someone who have been in the organisation for less than 3 months =D =D

And we have a very healthy lifestyle in the office =D

<3 <3

And talk about tying the knot... and no. I am not tying any knot. Nor even starting to create a knot.

I supposed when you are at my age, you start to arrive in a turning point where there are more things that matters besides getting a man by your side for the lifetime free sex consummation (does this word even exist?)

You have been thru the phases of going for movies, getting to know each other and text messaging each other before sleep. That was when you are 26 years old perhaps. But when you are 33, you have no time to get to know another person by going to the movies to study his/ her little gestures / preferences/ habits. I suppose, you either get straight to the point, or you make a direct point that you are not interested. So that you can save more time and get back to work =D

I love Bill Rancic though ;) so random!!

Of course, there are also those that still hope that at 33, they may at the slightest possibility to get a clean shaven banker (who will pay for dinner), a matured businessman (best to be a virgin), a well built (but not gay) and perhaps a definitely good looking than Andy lau or whoever (and not attached) man to start a possible relationship and perhaps in a year time or 6 months go down the aisle ASAP (in a hurry to make babies!)

And then there are those who have not much preferences being attached or not. Because it simply isn't a matter of life and death. A holistic approach, I would like to call this :)
If you get someone to walk the rest of your life with, then it is fated that you won't die alone. But if you get no one to listen to your nag but can afford a dog as a lifetime companion ( hope it doesn't die before you) then it is also fated that you are bound to be foreveralone.

Actually, it is not difficult to get someone / anyone / whoever to be your other half. It is just a matter of how high have did you set your bar.

have you set your bar wide? I think I better save up for a dog instead -_-

By the time I want to wrap up for the post, I am kinda lazy to re-read what have been written. Hence I shall end post here having not much idea what was the initial intention of writing. As usual.

The Day Wont Come

2012-01-29T14:07:00.002+08:00

... for me to be a kilogram lesser than 70kilogrammes.. why!!!

And today I am 71 kgs, exactly 1kg more than before Chinese New Year...

Saving Mode On!

2012-01-08T15:43:00.000+08:00

Kegiatan memasak sememenangnya bukan kemahiran yang saya miliki. Memenatkan, menyusahkan dan mengotorkan saja =P

Tapi, apalah daya, dana untuk hidup semakin kemarau, makak kegiatan yang membolehkan penjimatan haruslah di praktikkan dalam hidup ku sehari-hari. Aduh!!!

1/3 lobak, 1 tomato, 1 bawang

Memasak ni memang suatu kegiatan yang paling tak ku gemari.. Tak ku pasti bagaimana kehidupan di masa kelak kalau dah bersuami (yang mana, kebarangkaliannya amatlah rendah). BUku resepi pun takda yang harganya kurang dari RM10 mak oi! kalau yang ada pun ada ungkapan dalam nya yang memerlukan bahan-bahan yang tak pernah ku dengar - selasih, kumin...

Nak tak nak, terpaksa la juga menambah barangan runcit dari Giant, lebih-lebih lagi perencah untuk masak nasi goreng, sup sayur, tom yam dan sebagainya =P

Hidangan hari Ahad huhuu

Bazaar Oh Bazaar - Rasta TTDI

2012-01-08T02:14:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I had any time to go to the bazaar - without the objective to help out friends at their stall. Sometimes, if you do something way too often, you tend to get bored. Because you will most probably be seeing the same thing, same face and ask the same 'How are you?' to the same person, whom you met at the same venue =_=

Managed to drop by at Rasta TTDI today. A food court (malay food court) that happens to have cool serving of delicious burgers and fried banana with honey as topping yo!!

Organised by B.O.B ~~(Badan Orang Besar)~~ Bazaar Oh Bazaar ( can't even find link, pfft!), it's a pretty cozy event with lots of colourful stuff from cupcakes, to red velvet cakes to shawls to colorblock skirts and so much to drool for - but not enough money to spend =_=

bumble-bee maxi-tube-dress-skirt. spot the orange asymetrical skirt!

accessories again!

the shoes talk ;)

it's been awhile since I have seen handmade accessories and these are pretty! <3

Just Frugalista

rose and peplum and pink!!<3 giler sweet!

Whatever Darls

peplum dress for the skinny peep!

Now u know dy. If you are big UK10 to UK14, don't bother buying peplum online from general blogshop. Fits only skinny peeps ;(
Whatever Darls

racks of colours!

ghost! =D

It's going to be around on 7th and 8th January. Most probably a lil bit too late for you peeps to go over and shop, but do keep an eye for their coming bazaars ;)

INFO here : Rasta@TTDI

Only That?

2012-01-02T22:00:00.001+08:00

A Tesco is just a Tesco.
How different can one Tesco be from another Tesco? They literally carry the same freaking groceries!
And even have the same format of parking!
Fine! And I drove another extra 13 niles to another Tesco with the same parking format, same brands of groceries and most probably the equal amount of screaming kids strolling with ignorant parents who prefer to let their kids loose, running and SCREAMING! *like a dog*

I HATE KIDS!! And I HATE PEOPLE / CROWD / PEOPLE WHO STROLL SLOOOWLY

And I cannot believe it! That I have to drive almost 26 miles inclusive of wrong turning just to get to a similar Tesco to get : tissue paper, a bottle of fabric softener, 2 cheap bras and legging for mum and a tiny pack of rice. WHY!!!!!!!!!!! All the way and that is all!!! (&*&^$##()

Thank you Ma, you did a great job in 9Gag ...

Review : Safi Balqis Perfect 10 Beauty Cream

2012-01-01T23:12:00.002+08:00

Yes, you read correctly - Safi Balqis ;)

I am not sure how many Chinese actualy uses these halal (it should be) produce that caters mostly for the Malays. I have never used any for the past 32 years of my life till of recent. I saw an ex-colleague who dabs a rather thick beige colored cream onto her face before the application of make up. Just a few slap of it and later evened out onto the entire face. She claimed to have used it since her secondary school years and she is now a mother of two and looked like 18. She is not that old anyway, at 24 or 25 I think. But her skin is flawless.

that pot of cream

before I had the magic cream on hand - uneven complexion tone as I have a combination skin type with oiliness reigning it.

I smelled the pot of cream and it smells exactly like this particular cream that the beautician where I get my facial done recommended me. It was the Wangi SP Cream or something. Of the same texture and smell!
But that cost RM35 for a small pot of it, equivalent to a pot of eyeshadow. The one that the ex-colleague used was a mere RM6!! Still got such cheap facial care and works meh!?

I decided to get myself a pot too at RM6! She said I can get it in any Giant, Tesco or anywhere practically. And I did, in Watson. If they do not have a tester for most of the make up and facial care, god knows which is the correct pot! It has most probably the commonest name of all - 'Krim Kecantikan' = beauty cream =_=

I got the Safi Balqis - Krim Kecantikan Perfect 10 retailing at a mere RM7+ and got discount somemore! So it cost a mere RM5++ (good for people with not alot of money!). If it smells the same and it feels the same, it should be the same thing that I have once purchased at RM35 before. Maybe the Safi one would have contain some ginger, or onion extract or whatever, but how can it smell and feels exactly the same!? I am so assuming that they come from the same manufacturer in labis or Kulai or some rural area! and at RM7, you can afford to slather more than to stinge on it!

It is not one of the best texture to rub onto your face if you are not used to it. What I did was to apply it before the toner application got totally dried. At times when I can afford moisturiser (from sample sachets!), I put on the moisturiser first and before the same - apply on the beauty cream before your moisturiser gets all dried up. That way, you can easily blend it in.

Depending on your complexion tone, you would normally looked like a dead corpse after blending in. Unfortunately the beauty cream comes in only one shade and nothing else :)
As my colleague do have a complexion that is nearest to a corpse, she can easily get away by just using the beauty cream and layered with loose powder.

half way through using (night and morning view)

I am a make up junkie and also I am a shade darker than the corpse, hence I normally slather another layer of bb cream - Missha BB cream and then only loose powder ;)

still not finishing the small bottle

The beauty cream regardless of whatever brand it is functions to prevent pimples growth, acnes and blackheads. It is also nomally used as a base before putting on foundation. When I was introduced to the Wangi SP cream, I was told to also use it before sleeping for pimple curing. During daytime application, it is also supposed to be able to provide UV protection.

I have another friend who have been using the Wangi SP cream for more than 8 years and yes.. her complexion is fairer than a corpse and of course flawless! No pimples!

It's been the 3rd month and way to a more even shade of complexion!

My verdict : As it is freaking cheap, am definitely going to continue using it and hoping that I can achieve the almost flawless complexion like my 2 friend, minus the corpse fairness. It is not a moisturiser, hence I suggest you still continue using a moisturiser before slathering on the beauty cream to get other beauty benefits =D
I am not sure if it does provide any whitening effect, but it sure does even out my complexion's shade. But the best thing of all, it is a great primer, concealer or whatever term you call to provide a base before putting on foundation / bb cream.
As for the pimple / acne problem, I am yet to be able to determine if it does ward off any growth since I am hormonally driven to have pimples before the menstruation period -_-
I don't think anything can help when it comes to that eh..

And who says local produce are no good?

Merry New Year..

2011-12-29T01:48:00.001+08:00

Are you looking forward to a new year?

It is in less than a day time drom now. Nah, I don't mean looking forward to fireworks and counting down in a club with 1204 people that you do not know and another 5 person whom you don't really have much in common sitting at the same table.

2011 was just another year. Nothing great to boast. Perhaps, because 10 months of it were spent on work. And that included another 6 years previously which was also spent on doing the same thing in a redundant manner. Over and over and over again...

So glad I escaped!

I grew of course. Besides the horizontal growth which I am trying to curb, I grew alot in character and personal development. After much time spent slaving off my youth in exchange of working experience, I may have lost a lot of personal time, friends and moments, regret was never in the book. I choose to believe I could have learnt something each day in that narcissistic condition of work. Although my friends and colleagues and even clients around me do not agree with my stubborn philosophy and always wonder how I manage to survive.

I learnt to be humble and eat in hurry during busy days - just like any other sales people

As everyone stashes my job, I keep defending it and telling them I am all good doing what I LOVE to do. Pfffttt .. Perhaps I do love what I do if seen from another angle. I have established great clients who are now my friends ( I think my English have degraded recently as I have difficulty determining when to use is,are, was, were..). And despite me being in a different industry, the kind gesture of asking me to submit a corporate profile of what I do now to their organisation was such sweet gesture <3 <3 from people who once gives you money to fund your boss and still try to give you money now to fund whatever...

Now, I seldom reveal what I do. Because it is kinda complicated ( as I want to conquer the world) Time have been hard for the past few months as I am running short of moolah! The frequency of eating in a Chinese foodcourt increases and I think visiting BSC is now considered a luxury thing to do :S
Funny eh? Despite the shortage of moolah and yet the refusal to cook and eat at home - I don't know how to cook, hence even more wastage when attempting ler....

Now.. I have more time. A great boss who listens and let me wave my wand anywhere, anyhow, as long as I wave towards all the goodness and do not drain his pocket. I also have a group of very nice boys and foreign labours included.. who do not mind to vacuum the office when they are back from site after 6pm. Who also collect rubbish from all bins to dispose. Who mops the staircase to the office. And in return, I offer to wash the toilet =D sometimes...
I should be thankful and shaddap.. and guess what? Next month I am going to control their salaries =P So sorry for being a bitch! :S

Ulat no more!!

wardrobe too gone happier!

In 2011, I have also got exposed into the amazing realms of the yoga zone, continued Odissi and later to stop yoga session.. It has always been a dream of mine to master my Indian classical dance and be the real Suetha ~~Ram Gopal~~ since I was in Form Three. I credit the vision to my addiction in watching Tamil and Hindi movies at a very tender age. Did I tell you Amir Khan is to-die-for?

I am not sure how am I going to excel in it to be like the likes of January Low or Tan Mei Mei, especially at my age. I suppose I will know when I am there. And January is already married and here I am still struggling with my footwork doing Mangalacharan! I shall bang head!!

I have always enjoy the fun of writing. I must say Suhana isn't a very healthy platform for me personally as it is filthered with negativity. How I despise celebration - Chinese New Year top the list btw, how I seriously do not like kids, children, babies and 'things' that poo and expect others to clean their shit. Rants on how I hope to have kill people who block my way, rants on the miserable work and people I have to see and endure on a 'working' daily basis. Yes, it is full of negative / hate / misery, or whatever-you-call-it kind of content.

I have channeled my passion for writing elsewhere.

This is the year where I actively camwhored till the cows come home and had my product review done in YourShoppingKaki and of recent Keep In Vogue. These are a great platform for me. Over time, I get young girls who bump into me and recognise me form my YSK writing ! (famous awhile!)

pretty or not? ;)

super ridiculous camwhore for a 32 years old, i know!

For the coming year, I am looking into channelling back my writing to Suhana. I think Suhana deserve something better than negative statements ;)

I may not necessarily leave a legacy when I die, but at least I should leave an interesting blog rite? ;)

Wishing for a new car by working hard and earning commission from what I do now may not be a very good idea. Everyone have been saying that 2012 will be a bad time as the economy is not going to make most of us smile. I hope it will just hit the very very rich one and leave me and those not so rich people alone.

New Year, Merry X'mas, Chinese New Year and all other years that we humankind creates doesn't really leave much impact on me. To me, these are merely event in a day that humankind create to cheer themself up. But the best thing is they never failed to repeat the same thing after and after and after all the years..

Everyone floods the facebook wall, your sms-es, whatsapp and whatever mode of communication they can get and talk about the joy of the coming new year with lots of exclamation mark!!! yada yada yada..

And then they start talking to themself or 2011 or 2012, I think, because I see a lot of these "Goodbye to you 2011, all have been well, I cant wait to hug you 2012!"

Who are you all talking to!?

As much as I try to positive (which I don't think I am negative), I cannot resume myself to such emotion in ushering another new calendar year. Because life goes on after a day of public holiday. Still got to get to work. Still got to live next to a noisy neighbouring family. Still seeing the same politician on TV talking about hudud and other shit. The road is still congested as usual. Bangsar Shopping Centre parking rate is still the same.

EVERYTHING REMAINS AS THE DAY BEFORE NEW YEAR!

So why the necessary hassle to cheer yourself up for a day of public holiday only to go back to the same work place the day after? I am not saying you can't cheer yourself up, but why choose that day? Why can't all of you be looking forward to the next day of any day?

Oh wait.. I think if one does so then the Facebook wall is going to be filled wit scary happy people who talk to the day after Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and all those shit.... -_-

Happy New Year whatever......yada yada....

TwoFaced version 1.2 perhaps

2011-12-23T16:06:00.002+08:00

I have finally issued a warning letter to the lady at work and she made a statement that it was her first warning letter in her 15 years of work. Duh!! So you think after working for 15 years you are exempted from getting a notice due to your inefficiency at work and caused much problem to the company?

Many times when I do a certain execution at work, I always ponder and analyse long if I am behaving like this ex-boss, #TwoFaced which I have adapted to work with for the past 7 years. It haunts me. I am worried if am following the wrong path and be #Twofaced version1.2 . I seriously do not wish to be hated for the super-annoying nagging with quotes from the labour law and long preach on why everyone is always wrong and I am always right.

I believe I can do my job well, but it is definitely going to take me some time to wash off those traces of other people's traits which could have inhibited in me for so long.. Bear with me...

My Karma Lessening..

2011-12-20T21:44:00.002+08:00

How can I not be pissed? I think no amount of breathing-in and breath out can help to regulate my pissed-up level. The damn woman did not show up for work and no one was informed. I have to take over answering calls and typing. Typing! Not that I disgress typing, but I don't hire staff to later do their work.

Perhaps I should have listened to boss and keep the prejudice and bias-ness of not hiring certain category of people because they are known to boast alot and not be able to perform later. Staffing is a very irritating issue to deal with. Because one who hire and later fire risk having his or her tyres being punctured or parts of the car paint being scratched off.

I have been hiring for so long that more or less, I have achieved the skills of getting the right person for the right kind of job. And this time, perhaps I made a wrong move. I practised 70% of approach that a stupid ex boss would have used - to trust people of different skills to do another skills and tap on their family background (in this case, poor people are always desperate for jobs) to ensure that they are dedicated to their work. And obviously this stupid strategy failed me. Not terribly yet, but enough to tarnish my image as a person with sharp judgment. What am I thnking!?

A woman with lots of cuts and scars on her wrist and arm. She could only be of these 2 types - the one who got fucking abused by the spouse or the one who is merely a psychomaniac who have a liking to self torture for personal satisfaction.

I have decided to issue a warning letter. A first one. As part of my attempt to sack the woman voluntarily or involuntarily. I don't give a shit no more.

Being absent at work from fever that does not take away one's life does not spare one from a warning letter. Unless one is dead from sickness, I see no reason why a person / staff absense cannot be informed. And having to send scan copy of company's document to a random stranger is a big crime. Re-sending some more, after the actual recipient complained he has yet to get any emails. ~~Matherfucking~~ stupid donkey. And the random stranger's email appeared to be an applicant who once wrote in to apply for her same position..

Stupid woman....

Like

2011-12-18T12:25:00.001+08:00

The song that I loathe very much and the kind of sports I always wanted to do if I can shed off 10kg off my beer belly .....

From The Side View

2011-12-18T03:28:00.000+08:00

Tsskk....
It was in English.
I totally forgot that this particular restaurant have menus in English and nothing translated to Chinese.
It doesn't help when I have no idea how to translate Phad Thai or Lad Naa to chinese.
I have no freaking idea.
I smattered some unknown or perhaps hard-to-relate definition of some of the dishes.
We got the Tom Yam Noodle Soup eventually. The squid were asked to be removed.
Again!
I forgot. That hard, solid food were unacceptable.
I never ask why. But now I know why.
I had a look at her as she sat in front of me today.

It's been a while.
A long while despite the fact that I drives her around on daily basis.
I just realised she had 2 of her lower case of tooth taken out.
God knows when. And I just got to know it today. When I lifted my head to look at her.

Time passes so fast. The glow was no longer there. It was all so wrinkly.
I wished that she did use the placenta cream I gave her on her face and not her arms.
It's been so long since I had a proper look of her.

She is old. Tired too perhaps.
And having to look at an English menu withhout asking what was in it and made a random selection based on picture. She did not enquire. And I did not bother to ask too.
That was how things were going. For as long as I can remember.

That was how I have been brought up. To live, march pass it and not ask.
And that was how she too lived hers. To live, marching pass it and not requesting for anything.
There were times of course. She started being wicked. Putting benchmark. No, not benchmark. That is too smart an act for her to do.

The benchmarks were still here. Just that it is in the mind perhaps.
Never muttered out.

I don't know what to do.
Or if I should be doing anything.
I think I should.
I should start to pick up the bits and pieces now..

Mess

2011-12-17T02:52:00.003+08:00

This is not a post...

This is merely a self reminder to PLEASE CLEAN UP THE ROOM!
I have not been doing any sort of cleaning since I left the previous stupid job.
But I have kept away all the baju kurung for now and pushes out all dresses <3

I slept in the pantry today -_-
Because it rains, because the office was cold and because I am lazy...
Of late, I seriously think I went off the path that I wanted to take.

There are bits and pieces lying here and there, that I am to pick up..
but, oh so lazyyy....

I need a slap. Quick!

Save My Tyre

2011-12-06T01:36:00.001+08:00

I think I should be working towards the preparation for this week's management meeting.
My first official meeting to introduce my presence and the amount of changes that I will introduce to the organisation.
As much as I am well versed with what I wanted to implement and ipose and also at the same time improve, I am not sure if my method of corporatising the human culture would work.
They are after all a bunch of men who wears slippers to site and never tuck in their shirt for most of the time in their life. And most probably the most documentation work that they could have ever been exposed to would have been to do their expenses claims.
It is pretty taxing to attempt preaching to people who are so used to doing things with no guidance. As much as I would like to corporatize the organisation, I have this major fear that I will become that of the ex-boss whom I used to work for. Major Hitler with high PR skills, but 1001 doubts about others.
Each time I talk to the boys, I try to remind myself not to be the person who have haunted me for the past 6 years on proving how powerful she is in what she does. I want to be good in what I preach and keep aside the ego of being the best. Every steps that I take, I make extra analysing to ensure I do not use those negative tactics that have been taught to me indirectly previously.

I am not sure if I should, but today I have taken note on how many times a day does the admin lady make a call to the boss, how many times an hour the boss have made a call back to the office to leave instruction, and how many times the engineers have called back to the office to talk to the admin. And I don't like that.
The self-assigned Project Manager too seems to be very bossy unreasonably and have 1200 dB of voice when giving instruction. Typical construction worker manner -_-
And I don't like it. I don't like the fact that there are shouting and commotion of people who have not thin through what is the purpose of the commotion.

And I want to change all these this coming management meeting. I just hope my tyre doesn't get punctured.

can i be your Director in charge and not get my tyre punctured please :)

V neck dress from The PopLook

Long flowy Cardi from Ladiesfash

Hot Sunday Morning

2011-11-27T10:45:00.001+08:00

It's been less than a month I am in a new environment but it feels like I have done so much for the past few weeks! Slept a lot. Wrote alot of business proposal, be if for others or for own pet projects. And one of the thing that I wanted to do much would be to be on the writing / blogging mode again. Just so, in case my command of English deteriorates unknowingly :S

Now that YourShoppingKaki is almost ~~defunct~~ on total hiatus, I have been itching itching and itching to write like crazy! Not to mention camwhoring neh =P

And it's rather pointless for me to vent in Suhana here cus there are after all so limited readers and only 6 followers so far. That's almost to the point of being pointless for me to even camwhore or review products to share with those shopaholics out there. Hence, would you all please support abit and keep my readership going up eh?

If all things goes as smooth as the white tofu, I will be back on the blog-wagon, blogging about fashion(pfttt... I have a bland taste btw) in Keep In Vogue , a rather new review site.

I must say to have a site requires much dedication.. I have been pestered by lots of my friends to actually do a site of my own to do my own review and such since I yearn for fame so much =D

Don' think I will be doing that for now. Not at all. Not until I find a webmaster who will be able to manage the dotcom fashion magazine I envision, and roping in a panel of editorial team that comprises of 4 blog writers, 2 fashionista camwhorer to fill the fashion spread on daily basis, an independant photographer who have a love for sultry and almost near naked pictures and a marketing personnel to man the advertising and promotion section and a continuous stream of reviewers from few age categories.

Oh welll... too much fantasies in a Sunday morning! ;)

To kickstart my new platform in Keep In Vogue, I had a few online sellers that have given so much support and have sponsored me their products for review in KIV =)

I am glad that the very least that my irritating camwhore and loosely written review is much appreciated hence the continuous support from them :)

Melody Love Fashion will be one of those that I will be reviewing on. If you are familiar with MLF, they are like a one stop centre for fashion needs. From Korean and Taiwan clothing to little purses to hair extension and of course their famous hair curling iron that is going cheap!

as seen on Nicole Richie - Grecian Bib necklace

Vintage Lace Collar Add-On Piece (great camwhore piece!)

Candy Coloured Slim and Sleek Purse <3

And of course, I love their set of 4 pc hair extension!! <3 <3 <3

Because, it transform this kinda hair ;

to this!!!

I twisted all the straight hair to blend into the curls ;)

volumising not!?

Stay tuned for the actual review in KIV ;)

I have no idea of the feel of the post as I have never worked with KIV before and not knowing them personally enough to know if they can accept my writing. Let's see...

Names, names..

2011-11-23T01:39:00.001+08:00

SecuriTeam, TeamTech
AdvanTech Security, Surveon Security
CyberTeam,
Nexus Security
InnoTech
InnoTeam
even DreamTeam is taken! FML

And these are some of the names that I reluctantly have came up with.
I am in the midst of dropping the company name of this place which I am currently working and attempting to replace it with a better-sounding intonation.

I googled and googled and even googled more articles to read and learn on how people name their techy gadgets like iPod, BlackBerry and so I decided on a different approach in naming..
BlueBus
Pink Guava
RedLine
Red Cable, Blue Cable
BlueDome, BlueStone
Safe Box Security
RedCuff

Darn...and there goes 2 days of 'penultimate idylic' mode with nothing much being done.
I hsd the corporate profile semi completed, name cards done, and pending to register the company into certain governmental bodies so we can share the cake in doing governmental stuff =D
And now am stuck in determining a brand!! Which leads to the designer having to put on hold of the designing job of the main brand logo and the company leaflet and also the t shirt design.

What could possibly be wrong with Blue Dome Security? If a tooth can be blue and a berry can be black and a dome camera cannot be blue? I can almost envision the entire aerodynamic logo of a dome camera facade with those ergonomic line details along it!!

It's almost a month that I am here in this humble and almost remote working space and I am not liking it!! Because.... there is too much freedom!! TEEHEE!! =D =D

I should really find more work scope to torture myself with. Perhaps I am too used to be nagged and monitored too close and indirectly bugged to devote myself in body and soul that I am so not used to this now!

So, yeah, I washed the toilet once because I can't stand the sight of mud stain they left on the tiles.

The boys offered to vacuum the floor and throw the rubbish and wash the vacuum dirt! <3 <3

Things are pretty fine over here, though I hope they can work in a speedier mode and get things done in a more cost-effective, high productivity and time-saving mode. Which I believe is the essence in conserving funds and increasing KPI in an organisation ;)

Lots of stuff that I am looking forward to change and implement. And my main priority now is to kill all bad debtors and squish them to pay the office every single cents that they owe us and squeeze them dry from pee and sweat =D

And I have so much things I wanted to implement and make this the best system integrator organisation possible!!

But in the meantime I guess I need to yawn and keep myself updated with HDMI, TVLine, Video Analytics and such.. yawnnn

zzzzzz...........

Enterprising Online Entrepreneuers

2011-11-19T15:29:00.001+08:00

To which I think is simply a gimmick..

Nevertheless still an effort to come up with an event, so that me, you and everyone else in the online comunity will have an avenue to again spend money without listening to the Prime Minister Budget 2012 speech.

I am not sure if it was me suffering from the symptom of avoiding people, but there seems to be a lesser crowd this year. Last year was sickeningly crowded with people and vendors. Despite a boast of 170 vendors this year, I am not sure where did the other 70 vendors were =D

Agape Boutique were there, all the way from Penang, Emcee Couture with their paddle pop hued maxi collection, Like Igloo making sales like nobody's business, Survival Blogshop hogging bazaars as usual, Sachi Mieko was there with every accesories under the sky, and Peep was there too. To WIN! =D
There were many more familiar names of the online community that gathers in the Mid Valley Exhibition Centre, with the sole purpose to make more profit. And customers were familiar faces too as mmost of those who came were regular online buyers =D

Being a marketeer myself and my day job as a Business Development Manager (yes, I started work already!), I can't help but to have lots of thoughts here and there.. Can't help it, it's programmed in the mind!

Paypal is probably the biggest sponsor for this year Mofew, with the intention to introduce a convenient way of shopping without cash. I had registered for a paypal account previously, which was under-utilised ;)
There are more and more online blogshops adopting the Paypal method of payment, especially those blogshop that do really well in business and have further expanded to taking international orders.

The thing about our local online community is that a majority of these buyers and sellers are students both in colleges and in university. I woud say at least a 50% of these shoppers are sudents of higher education, while the other portion of the population are shared by both secondary school students and young working executives (like me!).

Paypal transaction requires one to own a credit card and somehow these are the group of people who most probably do not own any and have been relying solely on the comfort of maybank2u transaction or ATM transfer =D

It is a good effort though, but it is going to take some time for the local shoppers to have the awareness and the capacity to be able to adopt to the system.

the new mode of payment - QR Code that most probably won't function unless your wireless / mobile broadband works ;)

stalls!!

Like Igloo's booth

If it wasn't because I had promised Michelle to help her with her booth, I don't think I would have make any effort to come over to the bazaar. I am still in the saving-mode now, and learning that the ex-company most probably not going to reimburse my claims for the past few months (a typical act by small companies), I am not left with much choice but to stinge abit to pay up for expenses used on the stupid ex-company previously.. Sigh..

I always love selling and I think I did a great job! =D

But this is most probably the most unlucky time I have encountered while selling. I think I got too immersed into chatitng with a particular customer purchased RM170 worth of products. And guess what... I actually could have misplaced the money she gave or I could have handed it all back to her not knowingly. All because I may have been over-friendly and chatting non stop to persuade her to buy more =(

If she really did take the money back (knowingly and unknowingly), and a butt, a wizzit and few more other stuff, then she is just one lucky bitch! Urggghh!!!

Supermodels' Secrets booth!

Then, there were the Mofew Entrepreneurs search yada yada thing. A good concept to help to promote the OFE (online fashion entrepreneurs) but too many loophole in between and I think most of the OFE don't get the overall concept of how it works but they still manage to go through all the tasks ;)

Ila during her presentation. I personally think she did well in presenting a business concept, though she ought to be a bit more expressive ;)

Wei Ni! who keep saying she gonna die die die cus she did no no no preparation. And guess who who who won for the day?... >.<

So, I vowed not to buy anything during the 3 days I am there since I am semi-jobless at the time.

But I couldn't help it. These 3 bitches were calling for me!

Leona the leopard pumps, Seline the sude black pumps, Rose the dusty rose open toe heels

all from Agape Boutique. Bought 2 handmade bow-ribbon for God-knows-for-what, and a top from Peep

See how I am now 171cm tall with Seline over here? =D

A New Suhana Perhaps?

2011-11-07T18:33:00.002+08:00

Heh, I am still not over this new point of my life yet and can't stop thinking of what I can do now that I have the room (I mean space here) to do things on my own.
On another thought, perhaps, I am too free and have no one to talk to at home, hence the almost constant lame post you can see here.. OMG!! -_-

But now that I have the liberty to be expressive without having to confront a corporate management team on why I like to blog and deciding on the level of boldness that I can express, perhaps it's time for Suhana to have a better life than lamenting on the misery of life. And blog contents should be have less of "OMG!! my work is like shit and I'm in hell" and have more of "Awww!!! I love what I see and I am gonna share with the world, regardless of you like it or not!"

I am currently working on some t-shirt design for my favourite yoga studio :) Well, I have only been to one yoga studio anyway =P
I am thinking along the line to have a pretty extensive collection : from dri-fit yoga fitted sleeveless top to basic round necked after-yoga-tee to couple yoga tee =P Yeah, greedy... I know!

some asanas that I want to use in shadow form on the t-shirt besides the reverse namaste form :)

I miss yoga ;(

I am hoping to recoup soon financially and maybe emotionally for me to embrace on a better chapter in life. And I want to make up lots of time losses. It's time that I contribute more to the home I have. To create a better living to ma in this small hut that we reside in. I must admit all this while I have neglected the home.

We leave the house at 9am and comes back after 9pm. Clothes are mostly left to hang on dryer and only to be taken down when we need to wear it. Water are boiled only if we ran out of drinking water. Curtain are only changed only if it is dirty. Yeah, we live like bachelors O.o

It is time now that I should start making life a better environment for Ma if not for me. I must admit I have neglected her much for the past years. I fetch her everyday in a hurry after work. And I sorta get fed-up having to do the routine. Because I am tired. from work. From worrying not to be able to get enough sales. I bring her to the same restaurant almost 3 times a week and was so ignorant that she had weak teeth at her age now. And yet she did not once made a comment that she had difficulty in eating those meat and veggies that requires lots of chewing.

She never ever ask me to drive her to shop. Because she knows I am busy to the brim at work. And in my heart, I always pretend not to hear if she have any request. Because I am running short of time and my only priority is my work.

She spend as little as she can. Perhaps because I have never given her enough. Yet she never complains. And I try not to think about it. Because I am busy at work.

Now that I have a little time... to reach her workplace earlier and with some space in my mind.. I just noticed all the little things I have ignored previously. Simply because I am too busy at work chasing dreams which were not mine..

We are not as lucky as alot of people out there as we were not born rich. We were not born too poor either. Otherwise I would not be the 70kg woman I am now :)

As much as I used to be bothered by my lack of tertiary education compared to cousins and friends who have so much to boast about uni times and all, it never dampen my spirit to excel. And perhaps this attitude in me have brought out the worst in me - to only look into excelling in work and neglected life and people around me. And I think Ma was seriously neglected. Because nothing really matters most to me than work before this..

I hope it is not too late now for me to make back the losses. To her, to life and to those around me.

I must say despite being a non-religious person who sometimes have doubts if my prayers are answered, I have met lots of nice people in life that given me much strength, directy or indirectly :) I think those prayers do work!!

Now that I have drown myself in much sorrow, I look forward to what's in front!!

Thank you all!! <3

Job-free Week 1

2011-11-07T01:56:00.000+08:00

I went stationery shopping and got myself a ledger book and some pencils and a stack of sketch book.

Mini Project 1 have started and I am pretty happy so far ;)

A small start but definitely the first step. After almost 7 years of doing stuff for other people.

I am now glad to be out on my own doing things that I enjoy doing without the constant monitoring and preaching that I am of no good -_-

It's pretty sick when you are under the mechanical control of something / someone and it constraint your freedom to explore. Now I do understand why there are so many freeloaders out there who rather eat less, spend less and do less for the live that they yearn for. I am not sure if I want to spend less, eat less, but it is a habit I am emulating now since I am one third 'job-free'. I am not gonna call myself job-less, because I do have a job. A job that I have recently embarked on with those little perks that I never used to be able to have : great incentive for every effort translated into sales, car servicing!! (hell yeah!), and flexible working office hour =) =) =)

The above leave me time for some mini project which I have kickstarted TODAY! =) =) =)

Mini project Sketch =P

I had all my raw materials and have started working on it. It is most probably not going to make me a rich fat woman, but I would be pretty happy to be able to have people who loves my work, hopefully.

This is the first week being off from that permanently dead job. And what have I done... let's see
-Slept a lot
-Angry bird-ed alot
-Been going out rekindling moments with supplier friends, friends from school, friends from bazaars
-Completed a corporate profile for a friend, almost!
- Finished up at least 30 sketches for Mini Project
-Attended my Odissi class as usual
-Driven to Nilai by some bazaar friends =D

Jalan-jalan di Nilai3 with Rena and Peep

And I had the bestest surprise today during Odissi class! My guruji have decided to give me a set of the Odissi accessories!!!!! OMG!!!! As much as I do not have much excitement in my expression, but I am excited!! Having a set of the accessories from a teacher is like having Amir Khan patting you on the shoulder and telling you that you are one step closer to an opportunity to act alongside him *doe-eyed*

my first Odissi accessories from guruji

Initially I had wanted to get a set for myself. Somehow some thoughts stopped me. I wanted to conserve some funds since I am semi-job-less and should seriously spend less. As at now I have also temporarily stopped yoga session for the sake of funds conservation. The least of choice that I wanted to opt for, but I guess I have to at this point, till I get things sorted out.

But overall, I guess I had made the best option to move on and explore the world according to me ;)
Hello world! My name is Cynthia and yes! I am now free to blog according to me!

The First

2011-11-01T01:55:00.002+08:00

This is the first weekday I am without a permanent job and third day since I left a 'comfort zone' - pfftt..
Perhaps, you won't be amazed as there are so many people who opt to lead life without a permanent income and still survive and be able to afford IT gadgets that I have always stinge myself from :)

I am always amazed and respects those who are bold enough to make such choices in life. I have no guts to do so. As I seriously enjoy nice Spanish meal in Cava, fanciful lunches in 21 Tables and Terrace and the comfort of all things air-conditioned. But I am not rich. Neither am I poor though. Merely a working citizen who have a little expectation in life and do not mind working towards in. But along the way sometimes we get demotivated due to much external factors that we cannot control. And we later tun to useless parasites. Or are forced to be robotic in taking instructions and allegations and implementation. It is a part of life, of course. And how you react after these act of events will determine where you get yourself landed. I somehow landed back on my bed with a newly bought tab and ~~almost got debt-ridden bed-ridden.~~ A story that requires no further elaboration as I have been attending to so many inquiry about it.

I have not made any drastic choice in life by quitting willingly and leave to rot in home. I get paranoid having to think what will happen after that. I should not be paranoid in the first place as I already had so much vision on what I really wanted to do. But the paranoia feel always manages to never fail to make me feel more paranoid that I started to off the fan and lights and stopped eating to save up some money in case things don't go as expected. But this time, as much as I am equally paranoid, I did not drown myself in alcohol or cigarettes or sleep. it feels.. hmm ... I don't know.. it's feels like a naturla thing to do this time...

I am taking it as a blessing in disguise. And hopefully a GREAT disguise. And it is also through such turbulent journey in life (ok, maybe not THAT turbulent that is life threatening, but a job is very important to me!)
And I seriously hate writing in such a 'disguising' mode because I seriously am deviating from the actual content without me knowing it....

But it is through these waves of life that we be reminded that despite this hectic life that we lead, having sickening yelling and complaints and all this bad vibes around us, there are good souls amongst it that will surface when you are in despair. Whether you need them or not is another concern, but it is great to have this human empathy which is rapidlly diminished in many of us corporate rats.

2 days ago I was offered an empty office willingly at no cost, to operate whatever that I wanted to operate. Today I was again offered by another good souls to also operate in his office at my descretion to do whatever I intended to do. And he has also taken care of the preparing of call cards O.o

It is thru times like this that people who have faith in you, regardless that they may be working acquaintances or common friends, it is a real comfort to see that there are KIND people still existing in this world. Before this, I seriously assume I need to sharpen the blade of protection I kept under my arm, to shield of all ass-kissing, money-blinking, laser-bitching, wicked species who waits eagerly to attack you once they got your wek point.

And I have been receivng whatsapp messages from people I do not expect to get in touch with, via my deb-ridden new Tab and it feels like as if a re-union random gathering of me and the living world is happening! ;)

As much as I plan to keep a lower profile and quench my thirst for my artistic desire, I woke up early enough to reach a freelance location, and meeting up with acquaintances who shares my passion and sentiment in what I do.

By now, I had to have a list of To Do as there are things that requires to be done before I fully embark on a new journey :)

Today is most probably the first time I am able to smile unknowingly with no muscle strain after 5 years.

Welcome to Life. Again.

Late Lame Post

2011-10-31T01:27:00.000+08:00

Officially Day 1 of being without a job. (Twas on Saturday =P )

And the day started early ;)

Conveniently it is also Chic Pop today! :)

had a stroll in Chic Pop before heading to the Mofew briefing session on behalf of Peep and Supermodels.

So many aspiring entrepreneurs so enthusiastic in breaking ground via Mofew ;)

Don't really get the entire concept of Mofew and the existence of Amber Chia with the bunch of underweight girls who aspire to be models but with height lesser than me. But I suppose any exposure is good exposure. And Wei Ni is sure glad that she did not get herself a cow =D

I always love these marketing related event where you need to outdo others in terms of strategising. Perhaps, I have been slaving so long that it seems like a very automatic response to actually wanting to be part of the proposal doing act =D

Yesh!! I love getting myself into such dirt job of thinking how to sell and market stuff. Perhaps my 8 years of being in customer servicing, sales and marketing have shaped my mind to easily be triggered to operate when the word 'marketing' pops in.

So, yeah! Today i was inspired =D

When I was with my friends during the briefing session of MOFEW. Suddenly there are so many stuff storming into my mind on what can be done IF I am the entrepreneur who will be doing a marketing plan to sell some lamp-shade inspired dresses. it sort of gives me hope that this world seriously is round and whatever that you can think of, can be marketed out as long as you know how to market it out. It is like, as long as you are determined to do something to reach out to people, there will be people listening to your idea and perhaps buy the idea. The EVENT itself is an idea. Which is now turned into a platform for technopreneurs to accept the challenge to face the public and show their ability to make create a niche and specialisation for whatever products and services they are offering.

It is a good platform if the contestant knows how to ride on the opportunity and utilise all avenues to maximise on promotion and branding without having to win it first, provided if they know how to go about doing it ;)

But bringing in Exabytes and easy.my is a great start to actually jive in the technology part of the online retailing. Because going online is seriously not all about fashion only! It is also about how a seller is able to use the latest of application to create a convenient platform for buyers with various buying habits. While at the same time having to put in mind that most local buyers have a lack of knowledge in purchasing online and that most of them DO NOT READ INSTRUCTION.

Left Mofew briefing and headed to Chic Pop again. managed to have a bite at the Bees. nothing great after all! Or perhaps there wasn't much appetite available now that I have turned on the moolah saving mode.

I need to write, I need to do something,... I just need to get something done... and the day was full anyway..

Bah-Job!!

2011-10-28T23:21:00.001+08:00

Hello world!!
And today I am freed! :)

This morning, I felt that I just have to go pack a packet of rice to be placed at the altar at work. Which I did. And I cleaned it up and burn some joss stick and some prayer papers and I made my final wish - to leave if things are not meant to be.

And like the rest of others who may have gone thru the same procedure as it did, I would say I am leaving with a heave of relief :)
Perhaps this is a mutual action that I have always wanted to take but never had the guts as I am in a comfort-zone all this while.

I don't really know what have happened as it went on very fast. And it finishes fast too.

I have spent my prime years in the confinement of this space being guided on how to do my work and how to practically be hands-on with all the new trades that I have never seen before. I must say it was a journey that wasn't easy and took me so much of my life and effort.Despite all the hardship, it feels like it is all worth it. Because, despite the constant nagging, mistakes I made, more nagging and continuous monitoring on my acts, I actually still liked my work pretty much. If I don't keep thinking about what happens in the backend.
I have been constantly reminded that I am no good at what I am doing. It's really sad. but I have long accepted the fact that I am not good. Because that is what I have been told :( I seriously hope it is not true. Because I really did try my best with whatever shallow knowledge that I have gotten.

Now I am freed. At my own will. It feels... I don't know.. liberating? Perhaps now I have more time to think further of what I wanted to do and how to achieve what I want. It's been awhile since I have had anytime for my own soul-feeding. It has always been for the confinement where I am attached. Yah, sometimes constantly I laze around, but that's it.

At most time, I seem lost of direction. Perhaps I was lost a ll these while. Because all that is supposed to happen is dictated to me and I can only look as much as where I am allowed. I am always curious. Curious that if I am left to fend for myself and those around me, how will I fare.

I have got to a point that I told myself I don't need to look far as all will be dictated for me. As long as I am in this confinement. perhaps that leads to the comfort zone I was in.. I wasn't actually that comfortable in the zone itself. Because being too comfortable makes one dumb. And I was seriously dumb then.

I have learnt so much. I have gained so much. I have also matured so much in what I do. And I supposed these are what people called working experience. That I am so eagerly wanting to utilise it and see if my pre-dictated wings will know how to operate on its own.

This morning, I prayed. And on the same evening my wishes were granted. Though it happened in a very unpleasant way. But I supposed it is pleasant enough to wake me from this zombified zone.

Perhaps from now onwards, I may have to put a halt on yoga and dance classes as I will be feeding on my whatever balance in the bank and have no more freedom to paying entertainment fees for the soul.

But I am keen to look forward and see what is in front of me :)

Totally unrelated but on my way back from the 'ex-office' I saw an uncle at the side of the road. I cried. It is really sad to see an old man of his age in torn shirt and was hit by a car and nurses from the ambulance are scurrying to try to carry him off the ground. He was strong. Mentally and perhaps physically. Despite all the blood dripping from his forehead and a fractured hand, he still manages to give out instruction on where hurts and where to hold him.
I feel sad. That old people still have to work. And that old people with no education have to do odd jobs. And when such mishap happens, it would cripple them more.

Despite being jobless, I shuld be grateful that I still have a decent life and shall not grumble about how life is so unfair. About how I wish mum won't open her mouth. About how I dreaded living here. I should be grateful. That I have something above the basic needs. And that I have lots of very good friends that I have gained throughout my life.

Mirza, Sha-Lene, Carrie, Sunitha, Maya, Nath, Jaclyn, Nurul, Michelle Chuah! and so many more of those great souls! I LOVE u guys so much!!

I am officially jobless for the first time in my life since the age of 19 years old -_-

Which also means I will have more time to work on Pasar Night, Suhana and perhaps help Sha revives YourShoppingKaki!! :)

So Randomly Blank

2011-10-20T00:59:00.002+08:00

I am back..

From the rush of a financial year end and starting a new financial year

I am back

From closing some meagre sales and need to close more teeny weeny sales to make ends meet and stop nags session

And from a short oversea trade show

The Facebook wall are full of shared pictures of smashed up babies, apes and such.

The local paper no longer worth buying as it is now all about political affinity and hoo-ha which almost leave me with no interest to flip.

As I sit in this corner of the room, hoping to start a blog content, it seems that nothing have happened. Nothing have changed.

My hair keep falling and creating a carpet in the room. The same 30 bottles of some lotion and stuff on the vanity table. The same stack of clothes hung. The same amount of phone calls from clients asking for appointment and increasing complaints that their groins are compressed in their pants. The same shit.

But...

The speaker from the laptop deteriorated quite a fair bit. Now lady Gaga and Marooon 5 sounds a bit like Mick Jagger - all jagged... So was Sade in her rendition of 'what's that song name?'

Yah... life is pretty much the same...

Annual sales reporting...

Vijayadasami this year was a little more proper for me. Well, not that I have celebrated any of it previously. But yeah, I reckon, if i have made up my mind to continue my Odissi class, I might as well do my best and excel and I don't know... perhaps perform? Make money out of it? Be famous? But whatever it is, I am still feeling empty... Why ah??

A humble Vijayadasami celebration for the the classical dancers ;)

I still have yet to have any interesting content to talk about...

Oh!, I have gained 3 kilos for the past few weeks. Yah, I must admit the constant MacDonald while on the go is seriously not helping to curb the random eating habit..

But perhaps the additional 3 kilos could also be due the the fact that I have not been camwhoring for some time, which is a good workout =P

Benign

2011-09-11T02:01:00.000+08:00

And so I wore a dress. From Asos, Dorothy Perkins or from Topshop. Or you may spot me in the Aldo that you would never splurge on. And yes, I write about fashion. And coincidentally, I am in the line of work where I have to be stuck behind stage and limbering in the crowds of live mannequins flashing smiles that does not corellate with the trajectory of what the heart felt.

I hate none. I like none. It was a numbing session. I prefer to be in neutrality. I see no glam in putting on shoes, waiting to zip bustiers and transferring pecks. I do not despise, I do not anticipate. It is just part of life I am passing.

I hate noise. I seriously hate the buzzing of words. From you, you and you over here, there and there. The thousand words war. I surrendered. I had to. I am just not good enough. I thought of ending it. I always wonder what it feels like. To close the eyes and let loose of all limbs and drop. From 30 storey high. It must be cold. It could also be empty. Very blank.

Perhaps I have mutter one too much than I need to And so much noise reverberating back to me. I should have keep it al in the heart and abide. Abide and agree. It was always a better option.

For now, something is stopping me from looking down the 30 storey. Not now. Perhaps one day. But not now. Tomorrow I have to face it all over again. I will stop the benign.. hopefully.

But for now, I need to again sit in the toilet and shed some tears..

Like a Lallang

2011-09-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

Facts of life are sometimes pretty tough to digest.

Which could explain why most of the time we are covered with ego labelled as confidence We are confident much that what have been decided in this mind is correct and shall not undergo any scrutinisation of any other second or third party.

They call this the instruction of the heart.

We do sometimes question ourself if it is right or not because what is in front seems a bit peculiar to digest. But our heart says it is the right path. And those darn self help books always say to 'follow your heart'.

If I were to follow my heart, by now I most probably am jobless and having difficulty to get online. I would have to sell off my car and commute out of this freaking flat via smelly public transportation.

Perhaps I won't be jobless. There should be some RM1200 a month kind of job as a barista in Starbucks if I am ever willing. I don't think I would want to borrow money. Because most probably I won't be able to pay back.

Instead I did not follow my heart. I have to go against it and brave out in this concrete valley. Where what you say and what you wear does matter. It is not that bad after all. Some soreness of putting on fake smile. Aching of back due to extensive girdle wearing. It is all OK. Torturing it is, but is fine. Because I have bow down to the needs of the society. But I can take it so far. Because they reward me with notes that have values that pays for a living.

If I were to follow my heart, by now I could also most probably be having 3 kids by the name of Siu Ling, Siu Ming and Siu Koon or some sort. Living in some under-developed land somewhere North and having difficulty to raise 3 kids because milk ain't free. I am also most probably more fluent in Hokkien than in English. Afterall, who needs English in some old town that is only famous for some stupid savoury mee.

Instead I opted to go my own path without the hassle of a lesser competitive other-half. Because I knew it. I am ~~Beyonce~~ the concrete woman who wants a lil' glory and achievement in life. And not worry about when will Dumex will increase price of milk powder. I want to go far. Because I need a living. And I need to reclaim some dignity in the society. OK la.. I just want to be famous at least.

If I were to follow my heart, I would have un-friend so many people in Facebook that intrudes my freedom to camwhore and to speak my mind in a more bold manner. But that would mean I would most probably have 10 'friends' left. Instead I politely leave the rest of the 399 'friends' around. Just so some of them can make their own life miserable by having grudges on what I display, what I say. But I still get your attention and your visits to my blogs. Thank you.

Sometimes I wish I can be opinionated and have such random debates with much content ;

Unfortunately I don't know how to. It could only means that ;

- I am a simple person who don't think much than I need to in my life

- I am not deep in thought and unable to analyse a lot of things (not surprised because i only want to be famous most of the time, without thinking how)

- I have no clue at all on the direction I want in life (this is scary)

Perhaps this concludes why I always hope that the world will end. And all of us will die at the same time. Because I seriously do not want to die and go to hell with no friends.

Dying together should be less painful. Because you just die without much time to regret about what have not been doing. After all you are going to meet the rest of those people you have met while you were alive anyway. So that is just like going down to another level but ina group. I am OK with it.

See how I am so simple in thoughts?

I never question why am I a Buddhist. Perhaps I don't really care and I prefer to just accept it willingly. And perhaps make use of it. To have something, someone, some statues to ask for help when sales target are not met. Yeah, I am just that simple. Again I do not question if the asking for help works. Perhaps I shouldn't even analyse. Because I am still in the same job. Perhaps my cry for help does work. That's all and I shall not further analyse. Because I won't know how to and where do I start to ponder.

Let me swing back my topic to what is intended - the heart and mind. (Darn! By now I have again forgotten what have I wanted to say earlier....)

I would like to believe that I am a heartless person. Or my ability to have some hearty judgement have been simmered with the greed of the world and later pasteurised into parts of my mind to form a lackadaisical output of action. In another word, I am simply not bothered / bland / neutral. While not forgetting I need to sustain a living and will have to go along with what the society have percepted us to be.

Wait... I think I may have sounded like a lallang..... with not much direction despite knowing my origin..

Oh gosh.. when will the world end?

I am like a broken garuda - who sways when the wind comes ;(

tomorrow I will use a toothpick to poke this annoying rashes or sort on my arms.. hmmph

Foodcourt

2011-09-01T23:45:00.001+08:00

I have almost always failed to be excited going to a food court.

It's such boring place with dirty seats.

So many Chinese uncles and ah-boys who do not eat properly.

Food seems always over-oily.

Those disposable cutleries are simply irritating.

Perhaps that could be a reason why people cannot eat properly.

Whatever it is, I hate food court.

It's not cheap. It's not fun.

Sellers keep talking in languages that I can't decipher.

Mee, meehoon or kuay teow in a different language

That made me stood 10 seconds dumbfounded.

I swear I thought she asked me if I wanted pork

And I retorted - 'meehoon'

Shadows are created around you when you attempt to spoon out your food slowly.

The auntie with the entire 7 family members stood still behind you,

Harping on your leisurely attempt to finish up your meal fast fast fast

Oh how I despise foodcourt.

But I will still come again next week..

Do I have a choice?..

Purpose

2011-08-31T23:51:00.000+08:00

All this long holidays are not doing me good.
So much eating and no activities. It's already Wednesday now. And tomorrow is Thursday.
The financial year end just ended. And there is a new year ahead.

Sometimes it is rather irritating to comprehend to this cycle that involves life, work, and everything that's literally, practically comes in a circular motion. There's birthday every year. So are new years. Chinese New Year, the Sikh New Year, malay New Year and all the new years that you can get. Then there is a beginning of a new calendar year. A new financial year for an operating company.

It's totally a big, never ending cycle. Every year, you have 1,23 strangers in Facebook to greet you Happy Birthday while you secretly hopes for a boyfriend / girlfriend. In my case, I hope to have more prosperity =P. And you blow some candles, eat some cakes and the next day is just another day. That you may or may not look forward to. But it is just another day. And the boyfriend / girlfriend is nowhere to be seen. In my case, I am still not prospering.

Then you have all the new years for all the race in the whole wide world. And you lit some lights, or sing some carols and burn some joss sticks and make more resolution for the coming phase of life - which is the new year after. And tomorrow is still the same. You go to work. Use your brain and work your ass off.

At each financial year end, there are targets to meet before it ends. And when it does end, there are more targets to meet for the next financial year end. So when exactly do I get a shit breather? And so now, while the financial year end is due to end tomorrow (1st Sept) I am now working on reports and marketing campaigns in order to attempt to achieve the next year target.

I.am.tired. Perhaps I slept too much. Perhaps I ate too much.

I sometimes wonder.
What is the purpose? The purpose of living. The purpose of life.
Of living a routine life. Going home to a stash of laundry that needs to be washed and folded later on.
Going thru the fridge to find something edible. Only to find nothing.

Having seated and start planning for the day after.
While feeling so bloated from eating stuff that the neighbours passes on. And this adds more issues to think about. Should I drink some laxative and kill the bloating? Would I get fat from constantly eating free passed on food. If I do turn fat, how do I face this cruel working world where looks matter before you can start talking about your big master grand plan in corporatising batik. but of course, there are some not very good looking people selling batik. And they usually do not score the deals as much...

The matter of the point here is not about me feeling fat, mind you. It's just a metaphor to

For the past couple of months, all I could think of is making enough to live a better life. but damn... I just realised, nothing is ever enough. And when is enough actually enough? Because it is still not enough as at now.
I worked till wee hours. I freelance in between meals and conversation and toilet time and sometimes travel time. Then I go home and administer this Pasar Night where I deal with jerks who send me gentle reminders that they need money to pay for room rental and need to sell of their impulse clothes purchases. ( seriously, who ask you to buy clothes when you cant afford room rents?). Occasionally I deal with ~~non-business minded~~
cowards who want to make it but don't want to risk breaking anything and relenting to let me utilise my expertise in reaching their goals and my goals.

I know I can't conquer the world. You may conquer the whatever Himalaya or Everest shit, but that's not considered as conquering world. At least not even with a purpose if you ask me.

I remembered reading somewhere about a Rinpoche in Nepal or Tibet that tells about the story of the King of Bhutan who does not allow any sources of external exposure like television or any form of media to reach it's people. And the people were happy with their current state of life. Most probably eating big fat juicy rats caught in some molehills and still happy. Until the day when Nepal or Tibet (I can't recall) decides to open its door for modernisation and the people gets a feel of the outside world, they start to question and compare their state of life with others out there. I supposed they are like me in my current situation too- what the hell am I doing now, and what is the entire purpose of eating juicy rats when people are eating this juicy Grilled Chicken Burgers from McD.

I was about to continue writing this in much sorrow when I was remembered something. About this person whom I have avoided because of the constant preaching I get from her on how perfect her life is and how me, and perhaps everyone else in the community should follow her steps in attaining nirvana-hood to a perfect life. She never have praises about others, but only to herself. And most probably her IT gadgets. She can go on and on about her greatness. I followed the flow of this murky river till one day I decides that enough is enough. Why would I want to continue bathing myself in a murky river when there is a sea of fresh water out there. And so life goes on for me and the rest of us who felt that it is better off to stay out of this negative stash of Thing. I totally forgotten about this person existence until she made some metaphoric comparison that resembles me in this small lil world of Facebook.

I learnt something despite my grudges today - that I have long learnt to let go of things deem unnecessary and look forward to more things ahead. Meanwhile,some people kept standing at the murky bay splashing water hoping that the fishes would come to the shore ;) We made a conclusion. We (some mutual friends) concluded that this person is seriously not happy about her own life hence she have to distract own self with unimportant things like forever holding grudges to unnecessary humans like me or any other person who have avoided her regal nagging.

I should be grateful I managed to escape from the murky water. And have lots of great friends around me who takes me as it is. I should be grateful that I still have a job that outsiders can see how passionate I am when talking about what I do. I should also be grateful that I at least own a roof and a vehicle unlike the anneh who guards the apartment unit in return of some Rukun Tetangga allowance to make ends meet.

I think I may have an objective in this humble little life of mine - to compliment those that I bump into thru out my journey in life..

great friends for life ;) | the VRNDA album that I finally managed to get hold of

Happy Ganesha Chaturthi!

Namaste

When Your Heads Are In Between The Legs

2011-08-29T02:07:00.001+08:00

I can't recall how many months have I been doing Yoga in Swarupa (nop, not by Miss Swarupa apparently). And I can't possibly write a journal about yoga and me. Because.. standing fat at 70kg, there really isn't much to boast about me (the 70kgs one) and yoga.

But I have been enjoying each session very much. It is a much more productive activity to do than to sit in front of the PC Facebooking and writing blogs.
Which reminds me, The Star paper today had an article that mentions that a study have shown that those who watches TV for more than 2hours aday reduces their life span by 22 minutes per 2 hours of watching TV. I wonder if the same theory applies to stalking Facebook. Because that involves lots of heavy sitting in front of another Idiot Screen..And I could have been shortened off my life for at least 4 hours a day.

A session of workshop conducted in Swarupa Yoga Studio

I can't really judge if I am doing my asanas (poses) correctly as it's pretty subjective.
I mean when you are asked to roll your shoulder back and then drop it down again and lift your neck and look forward and tuck your butt in and push your chest out... just how much do you roll your shoulder back and how droop is a drop shoulder and and how do you correlate a tucked butt and hip while keeping the chest abreast. It is a pretty complicated relationship of all the bodily parts.

But overall, despite a challenge to self correct, it is truly an enjoyable session nevertheless. I have become accustomed to tadasanas with a rolled back and dropped down later shoulder =D
Many people have been asking me where did I go for my yoga and if I managed to slim down after the session. I have no scientific prove to tell you what yoga really does. In fact till now, I do not really know what does it really do except to boast my own ego (in being able to follow instruction and perform asanas correctly) without much hassle. Yes, it is an ego-booster. For me.

vraksana

When you realise that you are able to perform certain stances and hold on to it till guruji finished correcting everyone, how can you not be so proud of yourself!! OK, perhaps by now you would think that I am super Kiasu. But for a person who relies of KPI (key performance index) at work and every action needs to garner results, being able to achieve the asanas really did bring much hope to the sometimes miserable life! Not being able to achieve a constant sales of RM300,000 on a monthly basis sometimes (or most of the time) do kill your confidence ALOT. And it is good to be able to leave the work and sales stress off a bit with some Pranayama and asanas over the weekend.

downward dog

Swarupa Yoga is located in Bangsar, along the main stretch of Telawi. Needless to say it is a must stop destination for yogis who wants a lil bit of the BKS Iyengar mode of yoga teaching. And Iyengar Yoga is Mr BKS Iyengar style of teaching accumulated throughout his practise as a yogi. I wouldn't know what is the difference between one guruji and another guruji because this is my first introduction to the world of yoga and I think I am pretty comfortable with the amount of stretches I am getting here. To know more what it is all about, go HERE

sethu bhandha sarvangasana

If you do know me as a friend personally, I am sure you know I have a lot of mental distress. I am easily stressed about work, what I wear, what I say and literally, practically everything that I can look upon to get stressed at. And having sales target more often than not stress me the most that I normally have nightmares on how I got hit by a mouse while doing sales report. There are also time when I dream of having heart attack while meeting customers. But I am most stressed when I heard rumours about how shirts that I measured and tailored cannot fit nicely. That really is a confidence bummer =(

I am relieved to say that now most of the stress that bugs me still bugs me of course. But with a heave of breath, I am now more tolerable to the amount of pressure thrown to me. I don't know if this is good or bad because there are times when I am able to take things more relaxed and it leads to procrastination =P

As at now I am still 70kgs and still eating. So I can't really tell you that you will be able to achieve a lean and super slender 45kg you. But I can see the rest of the yogis in the advance classes are as lean as a roll of chee cheong fun, if you need to be assured of.

One day, I hope to be able to achieve this without heart attack..

To share this interesting excerpt from a friend's philosophical thought about yoga

Yoga - a kind of witchcraft, yeah I hope I can purge out ringgit note when doing my asanas if it is a kind of withcraft -_-

Don't you hate it when you stumble upon people who loves to pick a topic to stir and does not use the idylic time to ponder what can they do to enhance / improve their life or go help some poor orphans and old uncles in the old folks home. Instead, they sit and home and start bantering about nitty griity issues on how picking a nose is a sin, taekwondo is satanic, or perhaps falling in love is a cultish thing to do.. urgghh

And with a short invocation to Sage Patanjali, you can now start your yoga session ;)

Yogena cittasya

padena vacam

malam sarirasya ca vaidyakena

yopakarottam pravaram muninam

patanjalim pranajaliranato'smi

abahu purusakaram

sankha cakrasi dharinamsahasra

sirasam svetam pranamami patanjalim.

Namaste

When Gadgets Beats the Minyak Angin

2011-08-11T00:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we are so engrossed in wanting to pamper ourself. Wanting to reward ourself. Giving reason that we deserve to get those little luxury in life just because we worked hard non-stop for the past week.

For the past 3 weeks, there have been so many justifiable reason on why I need these.

A Samsung galaxy Tab

which I have no idea what it does. I seriously thought it is a phone. But it seems too big to be one -__-

But I also desperately need a new laptop. Perhaps I don't need one yet. Perhaps it is this juxtaposed impression forcefully created by the idyllic mind that I need some material worthy item to quench the material thirst. My Dell Inspiron is still running good as at now. Despite having many of the keypads out of prints and out of place.

Dell Vostro

I have been thinking that the common appointment to meet new clients would be a better session if I can go with an Ipad instead of a 60 pages photocopied in color profile, which more often than not,I have to risk giving it away as people seemed too impressed with the catalgous not to ask for a copy ;)
An Ipad would save me the trouble from having to comb bind a set each time I have to see potential clients.

Ipad 2

It is at this moment I am looking at all avenues to earn the extra stash of moolah to get these splurge. I don't know. I really do think that I deserve to reward myself with at least one of it. And I made a self promise to make good of it. Like, write more review post, do more quotes to increase sales, camwhore better so people can come to a pretty blog with nice pictures ;)

Well, yeah.. I have a stash of cash in the bank. And I don't think I will die if I spend it on one. Or two item for the fact.

But when I look at Ma, with a Counterpain tube in her hand, reading at instructions, my impulse to self-reward vanishes.

I forgot. I really have forgotten.

To always be grateful. And to be contented.

With whatever that I already have.

I almost lost myself again. And again. And yet again.. to temptations.

Yes, I do deserve a lot of things that I do not posses. And I think Ma deserves a lot of things too.

And so does everyone else. Who deserves a better life. But life is never that smooth sailing for everyone.

While it doesn't hurt my ass to fork a couple of thousand on gadgets that most probably will not affect my current state of life, it's hurting to know that I actually have a lurking mind to have a toy when I have neglected Ma's need. OK, maybe I have not neglected (it sounds really bad), but I can't justify anymore reason to splurge on personal needs.

It is sad to see Ma only uses the basic stuff in life. Basic spectacles, dentist only when it's gotten too serious a tooth pain, basic traditional ointment and such.

And it is equally sad when the anneh have to wash cars for RM5 per car from 9.30pm onwards till midnite. Where most probably his stupid son is somewhere in Jinjang area planning fights.

And it is a pain to see illegal car washer from India who have to share a RM8 wages from a car washed among 4 people. And they seem to wear the same clothing everyday.

And more often than not, I lost appetitie when in queue to buy mix rice, where the lowly paid lorry driver had a big mountain of rice with lots of gravy and and a single dish.

And here I am wishing for this electronic gadget which most probably can feed the lorry driver 3 months worth of nasi briyani, the car washer some decent attire, and proper meal too perhaps.

I feel bad. Really bad.

I will not wish further and more than what I have..

For now that is..

Sticking Worms Into the Ass

2011-08-07T17:09:00.000+08:00

Opps yes, we did it again!!
Like Britney Spears, we never learn.
We have again made a headline in the world (if others are even keen to see how we ridicule ourselves)
Sometimes I seriously do not know where we stand. Or in fact, how we fare in the eye of the world. I am sure the Singaporeans are LOL-ling at us while watching how we manage ourself here. And I believe the Fedex delivery boy speaks better English than the blue uniformed body we have recruited to protect the nation.

I was wondering why does everyone in my Facebook keep updating status on their hatred towards these blue uniformed men. Till I saw this. And it reminded myself of how much I hated them too.
It could be because of the fact that just so they earn lesser than me, they have to ask me to sponsor their 'coffee-drinking' habit. And also because they are casually born to be rude. Or they could have been taught to be rude or potentially think their rudeness is the best way to show their force.

I supposed, if they manage to find better jobs, they would not have resort to being a blue uniformed body ;)
Seriously! If you look at their face, most of them looked like aborigines of some Kampung Salak or Kuala Kotor or some place where there is too much sun and it tan your skin till it look like overburnt without the glow.

And I am not sure if you can visualise their respond to the question : What is your reason in joining the blue force? Can you imagine a dirty looking, rudely behaving, and sometime smelly, with stomach that looked like it has been filled with 3 years of Nescafe Tarik consumption telling you 'Because I want to safeguard my country and protect every citizen in the country and make tomorrow a better day for all' Peeh!!!

But of course, underneath the blue uniform body, they are just normal human like us. Hence they are not spared from doing things that normal people like us may commit to. Like rape lorr.. they have needs too ;) And like us human who hungers for more comfort in life, they too tend to take away other people possession wihtout permission. I think it's called robbing :)

And I don't want to continue this post anymore, because it no longer seem interesting...

At this time of posting, the draft for this post is already 3 weeks old I assume... Anyway, let's not waste my content mah...

I Am Officially ..

2011-07-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

tired..
.
.
.
what were you thinking? ;)

The entire week was so full to the brim with loads of sorting and ironing and more sorting and in between pondering of what to do with fucking lazy staff who went absent with no notice.. I hope they vanish and save me the hassle of issuing show cause letters and confronting their issues with their inner self..

so scary to find the office in such un-neat situation!!

yes, the week was so scary shit busy that I am home after 2am most of the time. And I think it is taking a toll on my face with the droopy eyes syndrome attacking and the ga-zits-lion intruding the already-not-so-flawless complexion. And this permanent body ache...due to lack of sleep is scary! I walked like an old woman now ;(
(u know, with legs wide apart and strutting slowly while holding hips in case of any skeletal dislocation that may occur). Oh what pain! All for the sake of some sales...

There are currently 4 blisters in my mouth and seriously it's not due to constant swearing and bad-mouthing..

It's 9.30pm and still in client's office.. ;(

Hours and hours of sorting and stock checking in my Aldo heels please...

So freaking busy with so much activities and appointments and more ironing and packing, yet still not losing and pounds.. wtf...

So not my style to have spastic pictures with no ooze of hotness, but yeah this is a freaking spastic week for me..

How's yours?

Of Pranayama And Kiasu

2011-07-18T00:09:00.001+08:00

When I was in Primary school I really wanted to join the gymrama class when we are forced to pick a club to do an activity. Instead I joined the Hobby Club -__- Sewing patches to make into quilt and talk about boring, dirty stamps collected via all sorts of way.

Perhaps gymrama isn't the appropriate thing for a 38kgs primary school student. Michelle Chuah only weighs 39kgs now, at age 26 O.o
But I always have these inclination towards activities that requires super duper bending and flexing of muscle. I get fidgety very much if I am required to sit still and watch a movie. I felt numb. I felt dead having to remain in a dead composure.

Yoga too requires one to remain in an almost 'dead' stances sometimes. Being kiasu, I insist I can. And I think I can most of the time. But I can't be doing it in an all-time kiasu mode. Because it is tiring! To have to hold my breath and hold my stance and hold the sense of kiasuism, all at one time.

I am not so sure what do people look for when they go for yoga classes. In fact, I am not sure what do I have in mind when i joined one too. But it is amazing that I can wake up and be half an hour early for class diligently every Sunday. And for the rest of the days where I am required to go to work, I am normally 45 minutes late to work =D

I did Salsa for 2 years. Because I can envision myself doing hot moves!! =P And those glittery dresses oh my!
I did Odissi too for a year plus. Because I have always wanted to do it and I seriously think I was Suetha in past life. Just that Suetha was born with some bad hand and foot cordination, hence the inability to perform a full Mangalacharan =P But I am deadly determined to eventually finish it and have my own set of foot bells ;) I just need to find time and some solace from work and finish it.
I signed up for Pole Classes too. Yeah, the steel pole where skimpy dancers with long legs and mountainous boos climbs on. But NO! I have no intention of being Club dancers. Or freelancing as a bunny girl that appears in a big birthday cake during some old men's 67th birthday. I am simply doing it to see if I can do it. Like any of the 38kgs girls with long legs.

And so in between all these visions I have, I am now doing yoga. Which I believe is the missing chain to all sorts of dance I have envisioned. Salsa need co-ordination and fast moves and more co-ordination! Odissi needs stamina and more co-ordination. Pole needs obviously strength of hands and calf muscles.

And I believe I can derive all these from yoga. Which to me I would assume as a sets of slow exercise to allow me to think and breathe and perform the required acts without music and beats that requires me to bend left knees, raise right heels and make a half turn to grab a partner's hand. Until today... when we are required to do repetition of trikona again and again!! I realised I am out of hand and foot co-ordination again
;(
Yes, I cannot repeat my moves. I get confused over repetition of acts. But because it is a slow act, and with a bit of kiasuism, I think I will be able to do it better the week after! =P

There were many of us in the class and most are struggling. I supposed I would too, if not because I am slightly flexible. And to add to it, kiasu in being able to do it =P

It's been a while that I have not been practising Pranayama. The last was during Odissi classes, almost a year back. We always forget to breathe when we try to perform stances that requires stability. I am not sure about others, but yes, most of the time, I remain corpse dead and hope the guruji will say FINISH before I turn blue black from not breathing. And the most ironic part is that at the time of doing a stance, I remind myself to breathe and while reminding myself to breathe, I did not breathe! (wow! I am so complex!)

Pranayama did help me alot when I go for marathon and hill trekking. The 2 types of activity which i stopped doing and hence obviously stopped utilising the breathing skills. I guess I really need to sync my mind, breathing, hand and feet. And that's a lot to sync.

Note to self : Do not attempt to practise Anuloma Viloma while driving to reduce risk of not being able to breathe forever.

kiasu act from home O.o

The Next One After Cava

2011-07-11T01:07:00.001+08:00

Is 21 Terrace and Tables ~~and Chairs.~~ Yeah this could most probably be my next favourite hang out location after Cava in Jalan Bangkung. In fact, I have slowed down in frequenting Cava after they have a batch of new waitresses who couldn't be specific on what is being served on my table...

I am not a clubber. Nor any serious freeloader who seriously hang out at night in clubs and lounge and pubs. but I do use up my lucnh hour very productively in places that serves good food. Yeah, I entertain for lunch mah...

And when this Dimanche thingy is held in 21 Terrace ( let's just keep the name short =P ), I have no reason not to go! Nice food. Cheap drinks promo and complimented with some not-so-serious-shopping act. Yeah, they have bazaars' vendors to entertain your shopping need ;)

Spotted Moonstruck Closet with her Eyeko range of make-up and some other stuff.

Peep Boutique with her loyal attendance to almost every Dimanche session

my staple : mojito

my fave : prawn risotto

bored people - Sha Lene and Wei Ni

prawn risotto - first attempt yang kurang sedap di masak

fries that seems so healthy!! ;)

fries and friend

isn't it great to be able to shop, eat and drink under one roof? air-conditioned some more!

Mechell <3 the 'twenty.one' menu

my bunch of under-aged friends

prawn risotto which was re-cooked in perfection! best!

Hand-made ring sponsored by Bijoux Vanity.

food!

no one else seem to be keen in food but me?

ignore the bored specimen and look beyond the background.. full glass window for superior sunshine!! but of course with air condition ;)

bila nak kahwin?

I demanded u cook my risotto again!

This could most probably be the second Blogger meet up, but the first with the YSK boss.

*picking fight*

Here I practise dictatorship

*fight settled*

what are we to do if we do not fight? *ponder*

'cut the crap mehh!!'

*berbaik-baik semula*

one happy floral gang

ANTM pose phailed

too sweet to snap the ANTM pose

florals and bar tables do not match...

Wei Ni got bored of my camwhoring... ;(

pretending to have spent so much on drinks ;)

minum dan makan!

Lunch promo too starts from RM12 to RM24. My prawn risotto is RM17 ;)

people who do not socialise are always caught being busy with their battery operated gadgets

makan sate!!!

itu Motte caught watching Korean soap!!!

camwhore with DSLR phailed...

wedges!

we emptied the table..

omak datang memeluk... assalamualaikum...

got good news ke?

Nakalicious taklah senakal mana pun..

sembang-sembang datin

Soak Republic conquering a big corner to make her own Republic of rings ;)

value for money burger set going for RM8 only!! no joke!

In real, it looked bigger than this ok ;)

Get more info about Dimanche HERE

It is held once every 2 weeks on a Sunday. Drinks promo currently running are the Buy 1 Free One promo which I couldn't resist! RM24 for 2 glasses of mojito wei!

and to get to twenty.one tables and terrace and book yourself one of the tables, go HERE

Bila Minda Ku Mula Berbicara

2011-07-09T00:47:00.001+08:00

Kalau nak di banding, sememangnya saya bukanlah antara yang rakyat yang ada semangat patriotik. Sebolehnya, impian ku hendak bertapak di Negara Laos dan tidak pulang ke tanah tumpah darah dan peluh ku ini.

Benci aku tengok jalan yang sesak sentiasa.. Benci aku tengok kerani lembab di kaunter-kaunter pendaftaran. Benci aku bila terpaksa berhadapan dengan mereka mereka yang kurang kompeten dan mengucap serta melaungkan keluhan bila hujah yang mereka cuba sampaikan tidak kesampaian. Benci lagi aku bila terpaksa berhadapan dengan mereka yang tidak sewawasan semasa bekerja. Kalau boleh, hendak aku kisar mereka dan tuangkan saja jus kisaran ke dalam longkang.

Benci aku bila membaca bahasa kebangsaan yang di tercemar dengan penggunaan tatabahasa yang salah dan kata singkatan yang terlampau tidak dapat di fahami. Bukanlah hendak di katakan pemahaman bahasa ku yang begitu jitu dan persis ini tiada tandingannya...

Bahasa ke html yang tak terproses?

Benci lagi bila aku kekadang terpaksa berhentikan kereta untuk pemeriksaan polis dan di beri sebab-sebab yang tidak dapat aku fahami yang berkisar tentang bagaimana isu-isu yang mungkin telah aku timbulkan itu dapat di tangani dengan sedikit duit kopi.. Tahulah aku cantik.. tapi itu bukan sebab yang munasabah tahu! =P

Menuduh aku racist memang bukan suatu tuduhan yang munasabah sekiranya anda terasa bagai di perli bila membaca luahan ku. Kenapa aku bukan racist? Tengok saja kepetahan ku berbicara!! Boleh mengalahkan bonda di kampung! Koleksi baju kurung ku bukan main hebat. Koleksi sari ku sememangnya mengalahkan Jalan Masjid India. Sekejap! Mungkin aku racist... Aku benci tarian naga Cina yang bergolek-golek atas lantai O.o

Mungkin aku seorang insan yang INDIVIDUALISTIK. Kalau boleh jangan di ganggu hidup aku. Berperang lah kamu. Saling bunuh membunuhlah kamu. Saya tidak kisah. Asalkan jangan kacau hidup aku. Aku sememangnya tak kisah. Janji aku tak rugi.

Mungkin itu suatu persepsi yang salah. Walaupun aku taklah semuda mana lagi, tapi rasanya masih lagi mampu bergelar belia yang bakal melapisi negara dan menyumbang keada anjakan paradigma negara.
Maaflah kerna aku tidak mampu dan tidak ada wawasan untuk berbuat demikian. Kemungkinan besar jasaku takkan di kenang pun. Tapi tidak apa. kerana sememangnya falsafah hidupku hanyalah satu : jauhkan emosi dari hidup. Janji hujung bulan, profesion ku memberikan pulangan gaji dan hidupku di teruskan.

Isunya sekarangnya... falsafahku sentiasa tergendala. Di sebabkan kegusaran yang timbul setiap kali berita berkenaan perjuangan antara mereka yang cintakan negara dengan mereka yang meng-komersialkan negara untuk tujuan masing-masing yang tidak aku peduli sangat pun.
Bukannya aku gusarkan apa.. Hidup di kota metropolis ni, dua isu sahaja yang sentiasa berlegar di minda : bilalah jalan tak sesak ni. Dan satu lagi : takunya beg ku kena sambar / anak ku kena rogol.

Buat masa ini, saya pilih isu pertama : macam mana aku nak pergi appointment kalau ada road-block macam marathon ni!? Ni mesti jalan sesak lagi.... ;(

Disclaimer :
Luahan di atas hanyalah luahan semata-mata yang tidak berbaurkan politik, agama mahupun budaya.
Kemungkinan besar penulis menghadapi sindrom kemurungan dan tahap Satu dan sindrom syok sendiri tahap kronik bila memikirkan bagaimana keadaan jalan di pagi esok.

Om Shanti..

2011-07-03T22:08:00.000+08:00

If you do not know by now, I am a big fan of Indian Classical Dance. I am scared of the Chinese Lion Dance however..

I have started watching Tamil movie since Standard One and the first movie that I could remember was Anjali. And after that there were many session of Kamal Hassan and Rajnikanth to follow each week. I still remember that my primary school bus driver look like a plumper version of Rajnikanth ;)

And so I have kept this desire to learn Indian classical dance since I was in Form 3. before that I do have the vision too, just that I am too confined in a Chinese community that I don't think I have a sane mind when I have vision of doing the dance from the neighbouring culture ;)

And so after much hassle, I finally started realising dream when I was about 28 years old or so. When I met up with some random stranger (who is now friend - Malathy!)in facebook via some random friend and was introduced to the beautiful world of Indian Classical Dance. And so I pursued the dance from Orissa, the Odissi :)

I must admit my hand and feet coordination isn't one of the best, hence i am pretty slow in catching up. I had the same jittery issue when I started salsa and was doing it for almost 2 years and still jittery.

But then salsa is merely a fun thing to do. Things that I wanted to do for the sake of doing. But it's different with the Indian Classical Dance. I am sure there is a reason why my vision of doing it did not die down after I have been nestling it since Form 3. Hence I pursued till my work killed my time...

As at now, I must have stopped for a year. And every time I attended any Indian Classical Dance Show, it's like an almost crying session because I would always imagine if I were to pursue when I was way younger, today I could have been out of the corporate world and dance into the artistic world =D Or perhaps, I could one day perform!!! Which dancers wouldn't want to perform? But oh well, I still suspect I am suffering from some hand and foot mis-co-ordinated syndrome ;(

After much hesitation on what to do next, and after another failed attempt to register in Sutra, I think I may want to continue my dream of ~~being Aishwarya Rai~~ in doing the classical dance again. Because it hasn't really died down on me. Only that I have way too much thing to do in between life which leads to the neglecting of it.. Now I am giving another attempt to it :)

If you too are inquisitive about what is it and are always curious to explore this beautiful, artistic world of Indian Classical dance..look no further and give it a try with the Madhura Academy.. yeah, that's wher I used to go.. And I am going again soon ;)

What I See

2011-06-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

Tumblr is great! t's like a platform for people who have been traumatised and suddenly they get creative with loads of inspiring statements that really is interesting.

yea, you give me shit, i give you pee

and just so you know, my willingness to go out for dinner with you does not mean I wanna be your girlfriend =P

and you can also tell I'm bored with you when you no longer hear from me ;)

In Chinese, I think we call it 'thu-lan'

No work, no commision lor... as easy as that..

and most of the time I don't behave like a cow -I don't regurgitate

because I always take away my food.. sigh... ;(

Why? What Why?

2011-06-22T00:09:00.000+08:00

I desperately need to make more sales while the iron is hot
Because the financial year end is coming..
And I remember the reminder to work the ass off before the financial year ends.
I need the sales
Because I felt like the rest of the 12 people down there harps on me for better wages
And I have the burden to be able to provide
I need sales
Because I heard if one do well in sales, they get their additional incentives
And momma looks like she needs a new juicer.
It aint easy to juice 12 orange manually ;(
My make up are sponsored, my accessories are sponsored, and sometimes my meals too are sponsored.
I need sales if i want to be able to afford things un-sponsored
I simply need sales
Because that is my job designation
And I need no more counselling
To be reminded that I need more sales
Because it makes me sad to know I can't do justice to what have been rewarded to me
It makes me feel like dying
Hence I need the sales...

I hate sales
But I know I need sales
Its a complicated love-hate relationship that I have developed
I pursued with no hatred, just grudges sometimes
But I know it is a joy when sales are achieved
I know I am of no good
Neither here nor there, this or that

I don't know
Maybe I am good
But I think I am no good
I wish I was good
I wish I can see how good I am
But maybe I am just not that good after all
I don't know
Because I follow suit all that is given
That I no longer know if I am good or of no good
But in general I assume you deduce I am of no good

I broke down
Not because I a tired of facing slugs in the cubicles where I am seated
I broke down
Not because I cannot cope with things that are going on
I broke down
Not because I am not able to handle situation
I broke down
Because I am not able to learn from a situation
But on another note,
I could have broken down
Simply because I am just not as good

My words do not correlate with my heart
I know
My mind do not correlate with my hands
I know too
I no longer find correlation in me
Perhaps that explains why it took me so long to get acquainted with my classical dance steps
perhaps I am just fickle
Or perhaps I should just keep it shut

Whatever sorrow that comes
When the cow comes mooing
and when the cowboys come home
I know
That tomorrow is a another day
To face, to live while hoping I can drown my sorrow
By being a better person ;(

On a lighter note, I hope the people from Gardenia do google and notice that I have been ~~junking~~ eating healthily on all sorts of Gardenia buns in the Shell petrol station everywhere around town. As of today, I've had the whole Gardenia range for breakfast, lunch and almost-dinner to curb my hunger pangs and to put a control in the financial strain I've been having.
It would be great if Gardenia Incorporated would consider in sponsoring me a year intake of all sorts of Gardenia buns. That would ease my fodd funding pretty much. In return, I could do you a review in this humble little blog? Yes, I need sponsored meals. Pretty please... ;(

I AM THAT GIRL

2011-06-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

I've been ooozing with the need to type, type, type of late. It's like I need to do a lot of things to get myself busy. not to say I am not busy, because work was like hell busy, but I felt like I need to do more to feed the soul after the weeping scenario ;)

And I have V-tjen to thank for making me her guinea pig for her Uni assignment in creating an Audience Dossier thing (which I have no idea what is it till now). But I got this from her ;)

Ahhh, if only this is real and is part of the feature in The Star =P

Nevertheless, love it much despite just being an assignment! <3

Miss Pung is back on the blogging mode and thinks that I should follow suit to talk about - I Am That Girl.

Yes, that particular girl whom you know very well and have grown accustomed to since the day you know how to nibble on your own fingers while drooling.

I am that girl who have ego 12 times the size of the bra cup, simply because I sometimes think I am better than you.

I am also the girl who always lost in the battle of perfection at work, in relationship, in life, because I think too much

I am that girl who vow not to pay my credit card debts in full.. because I am still hoping that the world will end soon.

I am that girl whom you think you have known and can grow find of. Till the day when I no longer want to be with you. Simply because my benchmark grew..

I am that girl who can talk if initiated, makes faces if need to, but not sing, even if provoked.

I am that girl who have so much hate in mind, because I could have chosen a wrong path..

But I am also that girl who will walk on the same path despite a wrong one, as long as I can withstand

Because I know the path doesnt' just belong to me..

I am that girl who learn to let go, let pass and let off

If I felt that you feel is best to let go, let off, let past..

I am that girl with short attention span, long constant nag..

I can't help it, I am fickle, undecisive hence insecure

I am that girl who may bring you joy, tho most time it will be misery, if you make me felt like shit...

I am that girl, who loves her friends first, then job.. and the rest follow

I am that girl, who needs only self declaration that I AM HOT. What you think doesn't matter. Because you are just envious. That you are not that girl =P

I am that girl who need more than attention. Yes, I need to be fed. With emotion, love and food..

I am that girl who have no shame to tell you my boobs are flat, my feet smells and there is a dead lizard under the sheet. I couldn't care less of what you think. Unless you are the Prince of Zibai-land who will marry me off, throw me daisies on the floor and feed me a daily serving of mojito..

It is also obvious that I am that girl who have no qualms to tell you that you in Crocs make you look like a defnite shit-arse, that I am too good for you and that you are of no good for anything

I am that girl who cannot stand the sight of not being able to be in control

But I am also that girl who cant control the emotion when I see elderly having to serve the balance of their life staring at the sky, waiting for the public transport, to go to the city, to try and still earn a living.. I felt like shit :(

I am also that girl who is blessed to have great friends, great boss though sometimes...lazy staff, control-freak freinds comes into the scene.

But whatever it is.. I am that girl - who never fail to hope for a better tomorrow despite failure after failure.

Simply because I am just a girl who wants to have fun. I think O.o

I am that girl who can sleep on it, only to wake up in sorrow and life still goes on

Yes, I hope so too ;)

And soon, I will sing. When I know how to make some acoustic sounds..

Rolling in the Tears

2011-06-16T02:01:00.000+08:00

I am sad.
Uhm... I think I am sad. Finally I have vented out what I felt to this person whom I have been wanting to tell off. No, it's not a love story vent.
I would like to end the vent of frustration with a tearful cry.
A good cry is not easy to achieve. I could have been working on some reports at this hour. But I am not in the mood. Because a jerk have deleted me from Facebook. Well, it is ok if he deleted me from Facebook when I have 402 friends. But just for the last 2 days I achieved 400 friends and he had deleted me off the list (though he claimed he discontinue his own account... or whatever fuck reason nia), he made it impossible for me to reach the 400 friends!

Shit yeah, I am kiasu. And it's not the reason of why he deleted me that angers me. But at least wait till I get 401 friends first? Jerk....

Well, I could have simply and randomly adds in anyone back to fill in the gaps. But where is the thrill!? -_-

Back to the crying topic. Yeah, I was sad due to some other problems. Then I don't really know if I am really sad. because I suspect that I may be creating this moment of sadness. because I may be bored now. Here, now, in the room, looking at more reports. Yeah, I suspect I have this lame syndrome of creating a scene for myself and people around me, because as I was expressing my sadness to Sha-Lene I am LOL-ling out loud... O.o

She said it's self defense mechanism. I said it's fickle and a contagious syndrome I have derived from being too bored I think.

Once in a while I do go berserk wanting to find place to cry out in full. Yeah, if you still do not know, despite this cheerful, ego looking face of yours truly here, I do have a lot of sorrow which I seldom share. Unless I want you to go into misery too :)

Last week I resorted to the toilet in the office. I tried that a few times actually. It wasn't sensational. It's not easy too, considering that the loo is pretty near to where the rest of the staff are sitting, hence no loud huuuhahhhh possible. I had it a few times while driving. I had to cry it out. Because I am simply too tired. Of life and everything that revolves around me. Today I did the same. Not because I am tired.

Because I have made up my mind into doing something with no return of investment. Sometimes we tend to sit on things and hope that there will be a better outcome. There is no exact theorem to calculate if this is a risk worth taking. But a woman got to do what a woman got to do :)

And so I did. It's true of what have been heard few days ago. Sometimes we are pushed to a corner to face things that we really do not want to deal with. It's hard to face the rotten part of a meat. It's smelly, it's yucky, but it has got to be dealt with. As much as a wagyu can cost you a bomb, it is of not much use to keep it if it doesn't allow you to savour it with much heartfelt love.

Wishing that things could have taken a different path is now just a wish. And is best not to keep wishing, because the road in front is rather pleasant to walk :)

me time!

when camwhoring, remove those darn old clothes hanger away from sight...

drape dress from Robotripping

my ultimate camwhore gadget - wig!! wee!!!

no way can I achieve this with real hair. too much time required!

bustier dress bought online

UPDATE : I achieved 400 friends again now in Facebook. Yeah, I added Anna Chieng =D =D

The Case of Being Insensitive

2011-06-15T18:55:00.002+08:00

Girl : Sigh, can I know how much is the price of a car battery? I gotta change it and the mechanic is charging me a whooping RM400. I didn't know it cost that much.

Boy : Wah! U got cheated leh!! Normally RM180 can get already. U go to this zombie-fied place in Ulu Whatever in some God-Freaking High Traffic place. They sell the batteries at RM150 also yada yada...

And he soon went offline

Boy : Hello. How are you.
Girl : Good. :)

3 days after

Boy : Hello. how are you.
Girl : Hi. I'm good..

3 weeks later

Boy : Hello. How are you?
Girl : Hi. Good? Erm, ya what is it you need?
Boy : Huh? I am just saying hi.. :(
Girl : Uh.. ok. HI. Is that all you can say? After 3 weeks of missing?
Boy : I was busy and was out of town.
Girl : *yah.. for 3 weeks with a Blackberry and a backpack of laptop and P1 modem?*
Boy : How's your blog?
Girl : Well, a blog is to be read, not to be asked of it's health condition. But if you must know, the blog is still a blog. Doing OK :)
Boy : Why are you doing this to me? I am just trying to make a conversation.
Girl : Well, instead of trying to make a conversation with redundant question, why don't you try ' Hi, read your blog. Wow, interesting story this time and nice pictures!'
Boy : I don't understand why are you doing this to me every time i try to be nice.
Girl : I don't understand why aren't there anything else you can say besides Hi, how are you, how's your blog. It's a blog!! It's ot even a dog for heaven sake. Aren't you in front of the pc? Dammit, go to the blog and see for yourself!! Why ask me! But oh well, since you insist to ask and it's a very nice gesture of you, ok, let me answer u..
Girl : My blog is fantastic. I have just blogged about different ways I can use to commit suicide.
Boy : Huh? Why u write that?
Girl : -_____- Goodbye.. I need to think of better ways to die now..And I think i wrote that because I am thinking of ways to commit suicide??

Being a friend, a special friend or simply a new acquaintance, this is seriously a case of you guys being so insensitive, that nothing can be done to cure this disease of not being aware of your surrounding and your role as a person with an armour in your pants...

If you have a uni mate who happen to behave like this, bang a book on his head and make sure his spectacles drop.
If you have a casual friend who behaves like this, attempt to make him buy you food every time you meet up, say Bye and leave.
If you have a boyfriend like this, I am sorry...you could have been voodo-ed =D

I have a very good college mate who helped me get this settled :)

What are friends for! <3
hmm.. did he scribbled 'fat ass' on the battery?

I Am A Phailed Manager

2011-06-14T00:14:00.000+08:00

:(
Yes, I think I am.
Those people couldn't stop facebooking during office hour and I am seriously considering blocking the application.
I do not know how else do I handle slugs who refused to budge from the sinking cushion of the office chair. And keep Facebooking. I think I am beginning to hate Facebook.
I do not know how to to make people understand that they need to make sales and not make friends online with no return of investment.
I do not know how else to look eye to eye with those who just do not get why do I seldom talk about work and nothing else when I am in the office. Because I need sales.
I cannot concentrate talking to slugs while trying not to think how else and where else do I get my sales.
I am a sinking manager. I need sales. I need to manage. And I think I need a breather or so.
I think I will bring some liquour to work and drench myself with a cup of Milo mixed with Vodka.

Where do I start?
Where do I rectify myself from?
I need sales.
I need to get the jackets done.
I need to study the god damn measurement..
I need sales
I need to think of ways to pacify slugs in hope they can get their own sales.
I need sales myself too.
I need to think of ways to draft contracts so that no one else benefits but us.
I need to plan what to sell, what to bring, what to display..
And I desperately need sales.
Oh wait... I got sales,
But I need more sales
And I need to manage only ONE slug
But I failed..

Now...
and Now..
Here I am sitting here
In this dirty room with a thousand strands of my hair
And utility bills stacked under the leg rest of my chair
And 8 more items pending review in YourShoppingKaki
Another 159 emails to post items in Pasar Night
With dirty linen hung on the old chair where I laid my ass
I am writing a Handbook of Managing Retail Services and measuring KPI

It felt good to have to shed some tears
In this dirty room
While d riving
In the office washroom
But..
But I realised...
Things are the same once crying is complete..
I still need sales
Slugs are still as heavy as they are
And I still need to deal with life..
And no money in pocket...

Life...
As positive as I try to be..
Kill me the moment you have the time ..
Because I am a phailed manager...

To Die Or Not To Die

2011-06-12T01:12:00.001+08:00

And this is just how I felt like this evening.
I wanted THAT corner of space.
To get away from the buzzing phone, streaming text, angry people, yelling superior, wronlgy stitched pants, demanding clientèle, waiting mum, pestering friends.. and anything that requires me being in the presence of a space with beings around.

I am full. To the brim.
I am tired. That no Voltaren can help my back.

I am in the cross road.
Do I lit a cigarette? Do I chant the Hare Aum?
Would it even help?
Because the mind is lingering with resonance of a thousand people talking, shouting, and more talking with minimal full stop.

In this corner, under the dim lit of the moonlight, I would like to cry.
For a while please.

Perhaps I am never at the junction of excellence.
Perhaps it really is my fault most of the time.
Perhaps it's true.
I am of no good with my work.
Maybe I should die.

But before I proceed to the little corner
There are reports to read, reasons to ponder.
Designs to flip, notes to write..

For awhile, I thought I can braze through it.
I thought maybe it's the right pah by now.
Maybe not.
I fear.
I fear failing.
I fear mistakes
I fear confrontation.
Maybe I should bury myself in denial.
Maybe I should just die.

And while I type
I dozed off..
I wonder sometimes
How does it feel to die?
Is it painful if you jump building?
Is it ugly to have a kerosene shower to go ablaze later
Because I needed something calming, less people staring and unnoticeable.

Now
Can I please go to my corner and cry a lil bit?
Please...

Random Post

2011-06-06T22:09:00.001+08:00

I missed the joy to camwhore 'kau-kau' and do product review. There seems to be too much to handle lately, both work and life. With the Bah-Bee Gang - a group set up by some friends t plan for food outings, with events, with yoga and in-between bazaars and catching up with friends. And running errands!!!! Yeaks!

I am practically left with this much time ( ----) for myself. And it's not doing good, because I have again started to doze off while driving -__- There was once that I even managed to dream fighting with a customer to get payment O.o

Anyway, keep reading YourShoppingKaki for more upcoming review! I am excited with my current products to review and am slowly trying to get one review up a week :)

LUS V-Line and S-Line - Sponsored by Supermodels Secrets

SANA Face Slimming Gel. Yeah! I need this much! Sponsored by Supermodels Secrets

Seamless kawaii bangs - Sponsored by Supermodels Secrets

Gorgeous hair extension - Sponsored by Melody Love Fashion

Playful Lingerie - Sponsored by Sexy Saucy Spicy ( i am not sure how to even review this yet!)

On a random note, I am pondering hard if I should get this sheer mesh loose top? Oooh so airy and so me!! But I wonder how many people would hate seeing me always in semi sheer apparels =D

Wei Ni of Peep is getting more and more creative with ehr fabulous product shots nowadays! And don't you love those Nicki Minaj white wig? =D :<3 <3 <3

Inequality in My Eye

2011-05-31T01:35:00.000+08:00

And this is how I felt about the world.
Not realising that we are indeed very lucky to be able to get something without much consideration, there are just people out there who simply cannot afford those little pleasures in life.

I really do not like these kind of moments. Where the reality of life stuck me and hit me on the head but I think once in a while we need the reality check to ground us back into being humble and not over the board with our hectic lifestyle of always pursuing more than what have been offered to us..

And with a single chant of Namaste, I hope tomorrow would be a better day to us all. The lorry driver, the clerk, the petrol attendant, the managing director and to everyone...

Namaste

Namaste

2011-05-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

Namaste allows two individuals to come together energetically to a place of connection & timelessness, free from d bonds of ego-connection. If it is done with deep feeling in the heart and with d mind surrendered, a deep union of spirits can blossom.
Namaste to All from me … placing hands together at d heart chakra, close d eyes, & bow the head.

Never did I know the beauty of the gesture that we have to perform before and after our yoga session. The bow (Nama) and Namaste as a whole means I Bow to You, symbolises humility and respects. The thumbs pressed and locked to the chest which is the chakra of the soul symbolises a one's desire to let go off their ego.

Saying Namaste in the proper gesture is basically to acknowledge and accepting the other person, without any ego or grudge for what they are.

And today I learn the power of Namaste. Hate mails and angry statement hurled over my head have very little effect on my nerve. Yes! It did not get into my nerve. Unless before, where I will be boiling in rage and waging war with words, seeing or hearing these angry 1200dB statement just did nothing to alter my mood.

I have also began to see that one becomes angry because of them self. Their inability to adhere and adjust to
their surrounding. It isn't really anybody's fault.

Have you ever felt angry when you reach the bank and the queue was extremely long? You become restless and murmur words of anger. It isn't the fault of the 30 people in front of you. It's your own fault for failing to acknowledge that if you want to avoid waiting, you need to be there early and beat the queue.

Have you ever felt angry just because you felt that the character / behaviour of the girl next door agitates you and that you hate looking at her face for no particular reason except that she may have complexion better than yours? It isn't her fault. It is really you who is not able to accept the flaw in you and the perfection in others and you pick a target to be angry at. Yes, any target but yourself.

Because you think you are god. And you refused to accept that sometimes there are people better than you. You eventually get trapped in your own complexity and you refused to accept any shortfalls. From yourself or from others. For instance, a blind man takes forever to cross the road and hold you back from driving further. And so you may not blame him, but you blame the passerby who did not help him cross the road. Or you blae the government for not building pavement for these people who will not block your way. OK, maybe this is not a very good example.
What about you blaming your hair dresser for not doing a good job? Despite you paying peanuts or your hair itself is already in the wheatgrass mode.

I was once almost falling into that trap. No staff can make me happy. I complain when they walk so slow. I complain when the lines drawn are not neat. I complain when they take long naps. Basically I thought I am god with a capital GOD.

My perspective have changed. Perhaps due to the fact that I am now mixing with people of very positive vibes. And not homo-GOD :) Or perhaps I have just realised life is such a great experience to live for and not to be wasted on thinking hard of the worst name calling one can come up with. Instead, enjoy the company of those who remembers your presence.

Being angry is such a tiring process and totally low in Return of Investment. Do you know what a waste it will be when you keep boiling with rage and call names when the other end is happily laughing out loud enjoying a series of Mr Bean. That's what they call in Malay - 'menyalak ke arah langit' . And end up having sleepless night trying to strategise plans according to the Sun Tzu Art of War in order to wage more verbal war which again increases blood pressure and still no ROI...

Now, I accept each of the individual I have to deal with no grudges and expectation ;) Regardless of skills, mentality, personal character and defects. We may not be on good terms with every beings in the world, but each one have their own lives and it's really up to them to dictate if they want to be a prostitute, a bugger, Prime Minister, loser or beauty pageant. Whatever and whoever they are, we only wish them the best for any path taken, and bring ourself to sleep with no dreams of having to kill anyone in silence or in public ;)

Namaste...

Fun in the Tumblr

2011-05-07T02:53:00.000+08:00

It's so fun to pen down small notes and single picture post once in a while and stop rambling in long fictional posts in a blog =D

I love my Tumblr!

Phailed Angelina Jolie Inspired Make Up

2011-05-02T16:54:00.000+08:00

Perhaps the make up didn't fail as much, but my constant happy smirk and vain smile could have be the major FAIL factor =D
Had a brief watch of Promise Phan's Angelina Jolie make over while slathering on the BB cream. I have less tolerance in learning days ahead and prefer to watch and do nowadays.

Angie doesn't smile away happily like this! ;)

I no longer uses found-du-teint since I have discovered BB cream and Missha of Korea is my favourite =D Oh well, not that I have taken much initiative to try other brands. Yet.

Slap on BB cream evenly and set it with loose powder. As I am merely doing it for camwhore purpose, hence slap thick thick also OK since I am going to sweat and melt my own make up.

Slathered on BB cream and set it on the lips too =P

I love nude lips!

Fill in those brows of yours. I normally dig my Etude brow filler pen which work wonders and gives really natural strokes. On lazy days, black / dark brown eye shadow normally does the job faster =P

Arch those brows like how Promise does it ;)

I think I arched the wrong brow...

Cus Promise arched it on the left and mine is on the right... =_=

Anyway....

Swipe on the white shade to highlight the brows. Oh! Before I did that, I have dabbed on Body Shop Highlighting Concealer on the arches of the brow. As what Promise taught ;D

Swipe the white shades thoroughly overall (according to me)

Then use a shade of brown to start shading. Promise uses a relatively dark shade. But I chose a lighter shade of brown compared to hers as she had slightly tanned complexion and I am definitely not tanned. Hence too dark a shade may appear too edgy and hard. Stroke on to the middle of the lid and blend, blend, blend.

I followed the nose contouring too.. which appear kinda scary on me =P She have got prominent nose and I have got Jackie Chan nose.. =0= Anyway, since I do not know how to shade a Jackie Chan nose, I followed how Promise shade lor....

Seriously a wrong approach on the nose =P

Then, as seen in the video, I am to line my center of eyelid with liquid liner. Which I did and it didn't turn out pretty. Which I later demolish by rubbing some Bio-Oil and re-draw the second time. Which also is as screwed as the first time. I don't know why! So I decided to smudge it with the brush to soften the edges. Though that was not what was told in the video ;)

Line the centre of the lids and finally line the edge of the eyes as usual and create the cat eyes' lines as usual.

The lined centre-lid to create a sort of double lid

Cheek contouring is fun! But I must admit much skills is required and will only work when paired with good skills in angling your face when camwhoring. I have yet to perfect the skills ;(

tranny in the making =P

So yeah, and the basic application applies.. line the lower edges with white eye pencil to create bigger eyes, then line with black shadow for the sunken effect and a stroke of brown acroos the whole of the lower lid (for don't know what reason) and later finish off with white glitter or sort at the corner of the eyes..

The cheek contour didn't work well, I have to suck in ;)

All in all, I still have some decent look for weekend camwhore session =D
But not in resemblance in Angelina Jolie's. Not her mom. Or her aunt -__-

Maxi dress from Lollysta

Learn the real thing here : Promise Phan

Am I Complicated?

2011-05-01T22:40:00.000+08:00

The past couple of weeks have been insanely full of activities. Work basically.
Pasar Night too is taking too much of my time with heaps of post to bump up. This month prediction as per what I read in Lilian Too's forecast of the month wasn't that promising, hence my chicken-feet instinct prompt me to work harder than usual to make ends meet. I really am hoping that all things shall go well, and all proposal gets approved. I desperately need to make it before fire comes down my neck again.
Oh yes, it ain't easy. Ain't easy at all to be in this crate of work. The amount of stress re-gurgitating within your mind, body and soul can sometimes kill. As at now, I suspect the amount of stress have converted itself into lards stored in my body. A freaking 70kgs I am :) Thank you very much. Call me fat, but still HOT!

This is the second month of yoga which I find didn't really did much in relaxing, destressing or soothing out my mind of thoughts. I can't blame the yoga session. Maybe it's just me. And the amount of bewildered thoughs in me have been contained in my rusty mind for so long i doubt a 2 month yoga stint would even do any miracle. But of course, I do look forward to it, because that is most probably the only ME activity that I could do each week. And the fact that I can't wait to see how much I can flex my organs =D

It has also been awhile since I let my creative juice flow. I have literally, practically, realistically stopped designing, drawing, sketching. If scribbling phone numbers on the note pad cold be counted as creative doodle, perhaps that's the only artsy thing I have done of late.

I can draw wei!!

I also found some scan copy of design concept for a show (MOFEW to be exact) which I conceptualised for a friend but didn't take on. Nay, design isn't what I loathe doing. Merely a vent of creative juice when minds are empty. But it is indeed a therapy at times when one really need a break from the hectic figurative reporting.

But most of the people who draw seldom make a lot of money. They keep drawing and drawing and still do not make a lot of money. I can't think of anyone who drew and made a lot of money and ca afford to stop drawing. But of course, there are people who draw and draw and have gallery exhibitions. Which again, I don't know if they make any money. Because most of them do not charge entrance fees. So, do they actually make any money? I don't know...

By now you would have realised my blog actually doesn't have much content. It is all baseless statement based on my lingering mind..

I guess I am tired from trying to be normal.

Yesterday, I just realised I am not as normal. I am actually rather complicated that I am unable to justify how normal am I, as it just doesn't seem like a normal character for me to react in a manner which I reacted anyway. Perhaps, it isn't the complication of character in me.

Perhaps, it's clouds of ego that surrounds me that I find it very hard to break.

years of cementing alot of thoughts have really complexify me ;(

I need to break free..

Yoga on heels ain't the solution to break free. See I told ya I'm not normal!!

Missing

2011-04-15T23:56:00.000+08:00

I have missed so much in the pats few weeks
I missed yoga session
Missed hill walking session
Missed going to work on time (well, that's a very constant act)
Missed doing pleasant review
Missed camwhore session
The only thing I failed in missing is going to work ;) ;(

I've slept with hair still bundled with a wet towel and moisturiser in hand
I've slept with floss string tied to fingers and work clothes strewn on table
And I have woken up to not being able to find the god-dammit bra, which I later realised fell under the study table
I even lost a working skirt
In the confinement of my own room
I occasionaly find some badges from Mei's bags of pin badges strewn everywhere
And some dead bugs on the floor next to my bed
And massive collection of my own hair under the study table

Two days before I slept with floss in hand and SK2 on pillow and I had a dream of fighting demons with kung fu stance
I suspect
Because I woke up with a sore back
As if kicked by a demon pheonix

I seriously need to iron my batik shirt
But I can't
Iron board is now converted to a desk
With newspapers for the past few months
With classified section which I kept
Cus I need a job

And that was how life is for the past few weekends...

In Kutu Market with our atrocious Abu Dhabi head scarf

Starker for 3!

Going Green

2011-03-29T02:25:00.001+08:00

Lillian Too says GREEN is the color for the year.

That tinge of green eye shadow

While I was doing an idylic browse in Parkson Mega Mendung, found this top from South China Sea for RM15! No joke! Why bother to tailor when you can get it for a fraction of the price? Don't like the part where I got to stand there for more than half hour scavenging like a hungry eagle, piling up all cheap stuff on the swhoulder before heading to the fitting room. The next time you want to attempt this, make sure go at dinner time where everyone is busy having dinner. Less degrading to scavenge =P

OOhhh... cantiks! The finer prints <3 <3

Hair curling session is a torture! Not doing it anymore. Maybe I should get the Instyler from Supermodels Secrets...

Waves created by Instyler. Nice kan. And super fast compared to my RM19 tong curler ...

Random Sunday

2011-03-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

Mei, I bought this on a lazy Sunday after yoga class...

It better work..

Jailbreak Camwhore

2011-03-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

Stripes are lovely, ain't it?

You're In Love - Wilson Phillips

2011-02-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

This is an emo week.. Week after period :)
I do not usually watch MTV on Youtube but it is such a refreshing act to be immersed in music that lifts your mood. Music that speaks so much about how you are feeling now. Music that most probably doesn't mean anything much but merely soothes your soul and makes you feel that there is hope after all the misery.

I think I saw the light today. Or I may have force myself to shed some lights. I don't know. But I want to put a stop to something. To make some changes and nuances which I deem necessary. I hope it wasn't wrong. I hope there is a better turning. It's really confusing that I do not know what is best to be used to describe this.

Perhaps, it is the act of letting go freely without a wilting heart :)
And so.. I am letting go of some stuff and accepting more to come with an open heart..

And I am seriously considering pole classes soon.. urrghhhh

hand beaded necklace bought from crafter in Craft Bazaar

Do you have a Le Ann Maxima (LAM) dress? It's every girls' essential item I tell you..

to pole? to Odissi? to golf? How??

tube dress from LAM worn wiht fringed vest from Beautiful Disaster

conveniently had some fashion accesories from the workplace stashed in my car.

who is not tempted to try out this piece of hand drawn boots? =P

Happy Monday!

Ganga - as the river flows

2011-02-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

White base saree that I wore for first day of Ganga

Color cordinated toe nails colors :)

All the blings that I could carry

(Snake with fake crystal encrusted - Curve Flea Market)

Not a very good location to camwhore, but everyone was so busy to even camwhore!

(Silver clutch - ALDO)

I am seriously considering an eye surgery to shed off the excess fat on the upper and lower eyelid

Hare Ganga <3

The beautiful kohlam

Temple of Fine Arts also houses Annalakhsmi, the restaurant that serves decent Indian vegetarian food that is on a buffet spread. You can dig as much as you want and later pay at your own descretion. Yes, you rate your own price. I don't suppose people will be that wicked to pay RM1 for a plate of Puval rice with another 5 different dishes. And papadam included. ;) The mango lassi was great! I also managed to try the buttermilk drink or better known as Moori - a spiced yoghurt drink blended with green chillis and cumin seed and spices that is normally used in Indian cooking, served cold! Yes, it taste kinda weird having to drink a cold spicy, hot and salty drink.

Did not go and help out the next day as I am down with fever. Mal said I could have drank one too many Moori which brings to my fever.. ;(

I am an obsessed fan of sarees. Till date, I have now 8 pcs of saree I think =D Some bought and some gifts from friend. It's such a versatile costum for every girl. But of course, not all know how to wear a sarees in 10 minutes. I wore it for wedding dinners, for Indian classical dance concert and once to a drinking session! LOL! OK, that's a bit over... But I LOVE SAREE =)

How?

2011-02-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought about what will happen when you are left alone?

When your family dies. One by one and you are the last one standing.

When your pet dies and you need to cremate on your own.

When a lizard died in the hall and you need to sweep it off.

When your grandpa collapse during your turn of taking care of him.

What do you do?

What do you feel?

How do you go about in resolving matters arising?

Do you have suffucient numbers of your relatives number to call for consultation?

In case your mom pass out.

In case your dad was bitten by a snake.

In case the earthquake comes.

How do you tackle the situation?

If you are only 12 and are alone.

If you are 21 and are alone.

If you are 30 and you are alone.

Do you let emotion to sink in before proceeding to the next course of act?

When will the panic subside?

Do you even need to feel panic?

Will anyone come to your rescue shall you ask for help?

But in the mean time that you are all by yourself

In the situation that leaves you riddling with emotion and worrisome shivers

How?

Google

2011-02-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

Words that people google that got them directed to my site ... -__-

How to pee wearing saree.. Seriously?

New Year Resolution -1

2011-02-10T01:52:00.000+08:00

To be pretty

So must do something with my hair, perhaps start investing in a comb.

Yup, I do not in any way posses a comb. I think.

Next, to emulate / copy / replicate Racheal's hair ;)

cannot enlarge big big, later she screw me =P

I think I fail sial
Doing it in the morning is way impossible, considering that I wake up half an hour before office hour commence. I am seriously game to go to work immediately after the Chinese New Year hols!
It's like an escapades from the butter cookies tragedy!

Good thing about office - we have vanity mirror in the isle of the office space for catwalk purpose =P

Yup, new year attempt started - to have super gorgeous Racheal's hair =P

And so I attempt....

to curl my hair in the office...

Melon Feast

2011-02-06T10:42:00.000+08:00

photoshop credit to Behr

Yeah, if only Vanity can be easily achieved like this...

Kicked Out of the Bed

2011-02-06T01:54:00.001+08:00

An article by a friend;

It’s amazing how something quite mundane can turn into a deeper lesson. This is what I experienced just last weekend.

The Media Team in my church and I went to Malaysian Bible Seminary in Rawang, Selangor. We were divided into the male dorm and female dorm. For both dorms, there were double-decker beds, placed side by side.

When it came to the time to check in our bags into the room, I was one of the first to be queeing up. I didn’t have much of a game plan or idea which bed I wanted to choose, just that it would be the one on the bottom and not one on the top, as I was afraid of heights and would have difficulty sleeping at the top.

The benefits of being one the early birds is that I can choose which bed to sleep in. When I was in the dorm, I also considered the temperature, which is related to where the air con is situated, as I don’t want to be frozen during the night. Therefore, I chose a place that was sorta a distance away from the nearby air-con. Additionally it was quite close to the door, as I thought it would be more convenient.

However, I realized my mistake a short while later on that night. After our sessions, we came back to the dorm, bathed and as I switched off the lights and prepared to sleep, I saw that since my bed was sorta beside the door, and the door did not have curtain covering it, there were quite a lot of white light from the outside that fell on my bed.

Oh no!! What can I do now? Most of the other girls was already in their beds, and have fallen asleep. I looked around and saw that all the bottom beds were occupied. So I decided to change to another bed, but sleep where I was. Even though I brought blinkers to cover my eyes, the light was very disturbing to me, and made it difficult for me to fall asleep, even when I turn to face the opposite side.

After twisting and turning for a while, I finally fell asleep. But unfortunately I did not get a very good rest, as i had interrupted sleep. I was awakened a couple of times during the night, changed my body position, went back to sleep. This cycle was repeated a few times. When the alarm rang in the morning, it wasn’t that difficult for me to get up, since I wasn’t in deep sleep. So I got up, washed my face, had a super quick cold shower to help me wake up and got ready for the activities for that day.

As I was sharing this experience to some of my other friends there, it came to me that it was like an allegory. Like the phrase, “You have made your bed, so you have to lie on it”. In my case it’s more of “You have chosen your bed, so you have to lie on it.” I have no one to blame but myself. This can be applied torelationships, specifically choosing a partner, in my case choosing a husband.

If I choose foolishly, like in my earlier case with choosing the bed without considering an important factor which is LIGHT, then I would have to pay the price for it. Similarly if I choose a husband foolishly, I would have to bear the negative consequences of it. The difference would be I would not only suffer one night, but for a long time.

Conversely, if I choose wisely, then I would have a comfortable bed and good sleep. In the context of relationships, there would be positive consequences such as less conflict, higher satisfaction in the marriage.

Later as I thought about it, this question came to mind, “As a photographer (serving in this area in Media ministry in church), how can I forget such a important aspect such as LIGHT?” Very likely because I was thinking of taking photos at that time, but focusing on choosing a bed. Plus, this was the first time for me to sleep in a dorm. Okay, so I do have some excuse / reasons...

In choosing to step into a relationship, I must say the theory that applies to the above revelation, most of the time are hard to adhere by. Simply because the 'item' that we deal with in a relationship have more substance than a bed covered in Freeman quilt made of 100% cotton.

If I can choose correctly, I would not be at where I am now. And so are those of you who are most probably sobering over some emotional bruises over relationship.

There could be many factors in determining your favoured partner..

Yah, so everyone wants a good looking until you can't stop wetting yourself over him, owns 3 Continental cars, our of which you get to choose one to drive, own a property in the prime land of Bangsar, must be filial to your parents so that your burden are eased off in taking care of your own parents, a good husband to satisfy your sexual need and a good father in case your kids come out cuckoo and hyperactive.

And a guy would most probably steer towards a petite lass who loves wearing floral and not a pixie cut hairstyle girl, a girl who can smooch and have long hair, with melodious voice and enjoy eating salad and sandwiches.

There are so much preference in every individual. So much so that even the advancement of Facebook sometimes can't help you much if you refuse to budge from your list of criteria.

How do we define if it is a right choice or a wrong step taken? The problem with a PC is that after some time, it grow old and slow. The problem with a calendar is that at the end of the year, it expires and you require a new one. The problem with human that comes with a barrel of feeling and emotions are that they are easily altered under many circumstances, situations and conditions.

You can re-format a PC, and it will never ditch you if you can manage it properly. As in you gotta do your own back up la before you re-format. You can opt to throw away the calendar of cut the nice pictures for scrapbooking and dispose the rest. But you can never re-format a person. Or send a bomoh to do the job. Or cut into pieces and keep those that you want.

When you walk into a relationship, if you have your list of 10 Commandments then congrats, because you know what you wanted and the probability of getting what you want is almost NIL and only YOU yourself know better. But relationship is not a strategy game. If only it is as easy as marking on a Gantt chart on how you can fare well, there won't be losers out there sulking for god sake. In an instance when you want to have a pretty faced guy / girl to be the other half, because you think your pimpled-zone face cannot stand the other half not being too good for you.. then you could most probably be masturbating for a while before it materialise. To be fair, there are some lucky ones of course, but not ALL.

In the event of a relationship, early bird entry, coupons and such doesn't count much. You may give in early sex. Still don't count. yeah, that's how the world goes. Go jump if you can't accept it. There simply is no guarantee. You just need to banyak doa. Which is again no guarantee..

(to be continued....)

Things To Do During Chinese New Year

2011-02-05T12:45:00.002+08:00

1- Pretend invisible ang ignore glances from bypassing relatives
2- Pretend dumb so that people find it a hassle to chat you up
3- Pretend busy so people are afraid they may disturb u from making a major decision
4- Pretend you are suffering from high cholesterol and blood pressure and have symptoms of diabetes so you can be excused from eating butter cookies

And some reasons why I hate Chinese New Year;

1- it's just the moment of the year when people vow to have a better year. The moment they are wayy to excited celebrating the new year with liquor and some mahjongs, the have already forgotten their vow.
2- it's also the time of the year when people turn hypocrites. all flaws are hidden. everyone try to portray the best of what they can offer, from household interior to their first day clothing U_U
3- people have a sudden mood to be competitive. housewife walk around the neighbourhood comparing new year adornment, aunties go around passing cookies for all to try trying to make sure they have wide acclaimation that their cookies is the best!
4- people turn into activities deemed addictive ; buy Toto, gamble like there's no tomorrow, drink , drink and more drink, buy more lottery.
5- people do not practise the need to be thrifty. after all its the time to splurge and show off the wealthy side of the family. wallet may be thinning, bank account may be depleting but no one cares. there is an instant and simultaneous need to show off.
6- it's also time where sugar consumption are high, cholesterols too accumulating, carbs too are getting a place in the abs. ya, this is the time to be unhealthy.
7- host turn into darn hostile people, practically forcing guest to try out the food and junks spread they purposely get ready when they see u coming and hoping to hear a word of compliment on the junks.
8- the concept of giving money make ppl frustrated and the concept of receiving money excite some in. my case, i hate both.

I find it lame.
In fact as years passess, it has become so mundane and lame that this year, we had Maggi mee for reunion dinner. Me and Ma. Very illogical to slaughter a chicken for 2 women's meal. And I adjourned to The Paradise, in Sheraton KL for that once in a blue moon clubbing. Yeah, I am not as cool as perceived. I have a lump of boring, nerdy, workaholic and staunchly religious group of friends.
If I did not see wrongly, I seem to be the only Chinese in the club =D Surrounded by skinny Malay mois clad in the tightest cheongsam. Pretty tacky as it may sound as the deejay kept yelling Gong Xi Fa Cai amidst the R&B line ups.

Oohh... did I tell you I love my new MNG tiered toga, X'mas pressie from boss ;)
Ahem... in XS-S size and I can fit!! I think it's the African sizing they are labelling there =P

Earrings from Vincci Accessories, MNG tiered dress

In auspicious red tiered jersey material
T-Bar heels from Fashion Barrage

(sorry for the last drunk look. minum memburukkan mekap)

damn short, but I loike!!

I so prefer gulping down Vodka and raising hand at no reason everytime the DJ asked to do so than going house to house to eat pineapple tarts ;(
I hate waking up to the day when the neighbours' lobby are overflowing with many pairs of visitors' shoes that remind me of the festivity...
I think in general, I hate happy events O.o like X'mas, Chinese New Year, Labour Day, or any other days when people are happy...because I ain't happy. When was I ever happy?

last last minute baru nak beli limau!!

On the first day of the Chinese, I wore a thrifted maxi from OldScoolBoutique, paired with my quilted working bag and slipper from Bangkok. Nothing smells new!
Ma was disgusted with me as she spotted me coming out of the shower with my hair all wet on this aupicious first day. Now she would hate me for ruining her slight chances of striking Toto for the year as I have just washed away not only the vodka and ciggie smell, but also all the possible 'ong-ness' that I may have on my head O.o

Kegiatan di tahun baru of my relatives..

Little cousin getting married. Read : Little

flat chested whatever!!!.. can you spot the criss cross waist structure? The criss cross works wonder in forcing a slimmer sillhoutte though I think the lack of a well endowed bust really did screwed me up. I think I may have flashed my nip sticker... ;(
Dress from Le Ann Maxima

New Year Resolution : to wear more short dresses for the year and ditch the 'dickhead' style ;)

How was your new year?

That Blazer

2011-01-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

This is a gruelling week .... =( Never in my life had I been thru anything as painful as what I am feeling now.. Now not the broken heart part.. but the back ache and souring shoulder blade yelling to be chopped off from the body.. According to a doctor friend, there could be a possibility I sprained my neck or I may have 'spondylosis' OMG! Whatever sponge is that, please leave me alone!! I hate the smell of hospitals and the quietness in it.. though hospitals nowadays are fully equipped with Dome and Starbucks further siphon more money from the sick bats...

I tried all methods to stop the pain

Mei said to plaster my last 2 fingers. With surgical tape.. which I don't have

Still don't have

And nothing works! With an addition to another session of physiotherapy in Pantai where it's all conversation with minimal action

RM5 gold plated ball whatever sticker from Daiso

Mei and I decided to spend the day off from Thaipusam thronging The Curve and Ikea, in hope to get some pussy willow (for her). We ended up forgetting about pussy willow and got loads of stuff to wear =D

Vintage weird top from enspired which I didn't get. Pretty much looked like something I could sew

There wasn't much to see in Enspired, except for a stall that sells Japan vintage apparels! Woot! Vintage is dorky ok. But vintage is Japan is sometimes precious. Japan is one of the more established fashion hub. That we can't deny. Having said that, the Japs too are very particular with quality. Whihc is good! Because whatever that they may want to throw and turn into vintage will normally be good in quality too. Not to mention trendier ;)
Yup, junk is good sometimes!

Vintage houndstooth blazer. Notice the titanium necklace? RM5 from Daiso! =P

Yeah, I am cheap..

With organza trimming wei!

tassled lapel :)

cun! those small lil details ;)

The above were a bit outdated as it happened a week ago =P

As at now, I am still in pain.. To add to it, my blood pressure is also high 163/83

Can you beat that?

The signs of aging - back pain, hi blood pressure..

Barely a week to Chinese New Year, I think....A celebration that I dreaded more than being stuck in a jam.

The most dreaded mandarin orange exchange season!! And being forced to eat cookies and drink fizzy drinks.. AArghh it scares me just to think that the dreaded period is coming annually to haunt me ;(

Saturday Lame-ness

2011-01-23T18:40:00.000+08:00

These are the only pictures I managed to snap in Chic Pop - 6th installation =D
It's been a while that I have been going to any bazaar for a free and easy stroll and need not help Mei in selling her badges =P

And I managed to come home spending only RM2 for parking and bought nothing ;)
It was another great session of bazaar organised, with a big mouthful of vintagey people and stuff in granny floral dress and polaroid cameras on their neck and not to miss mentioning those fedora hats!

It wasn't a plan trip to drop by to the bazaar. After spending more than an hour waiting for an emblem in Pertama Complex (with lots of weird smelly men and handphone stalls) and spent a lil bit of moolah in Reject Shop ( and still can't get anything for mum.I don't know what to get her!) and later having to head back to office with an aching hand only to see the box is still under construction at 2.00pm, trying to beat the jam to get to PJ and get myself into a crowded massacre of vintagey people just doesn't seem to be a relaxing after-work Saturday..

I guess to be out somewhere is way better to be rotting at home with an idle mind which may lead me to further depression and body ache from extreme Facebooking -__-
And I have been eyeing this pair of shoes from peep for some time and it would be great for me to hop into the bazaar and see if they have it there today.. And they DO!! Somehow I wasn't thrilled despite having a good fit of the shoes. Because I read the newspaper before I went to the bazaar.. And under the Cancer horoscope reading, it clearly stated ' You need to look into your finances' WTF... -__-" gilababi.....

skanky! I like!!

And so I made 3 rounds in that small lil bazaar and Mei asked me 3 times to help her out and for all 3 times I thought she was joking and I left uninformed =P Sorry! I thought it is a JOKE mah....

My usual Saturday are spent in Starbucks Pearl Point Hotel, as I need to wait for mum -__-

And the lady barrista asked if I was the guest Blogger for YSK <3 <3 ahahahahaha, I felt so famous suddenly! Of course she didn't give me discount or free whip cream onto my blended green tea..... that's not the point anyway!

I love the online community a lot! People sort of know each other without really having to know each other. If you get what I mean. It's not really about being famous or what.. But it's about knowing someone you do not know but you actually knew them virtually and when you see them it's like you actually know them!! It's a complicated theory. But for sure it won't apply when you see a celebrity who do not know you r your whereabout and have no common issues with you except for the fact that you are enriching their life by condoning to whatever that they are promoting, be it skills, arts or self.

But in this fabulous world of girls being online, we are all connected to ONE big issue - FASHION. There are those that you are bound to hate their sense of dressing, and there are those who you simply adore (from far only lah..like how I love Shantee's style of dressing! =P ) And I would so recognise her if I were to see her stranded in the middle of the road amongst a row of makciks attempting to cross the road. ;)

Again, I do not know what is the whole point of this post. Serious. I just feel like writing something.
I guess it's the start of a year and I am still searching everywhere and try to settle my attention on things I wanted to do - that is to write hence the 'seems-like-I-typed-a-lot-but-not-much-meaning' need to bump a post =P

Some of the loots on Saturday!

Chiffon Triangular Kaftan from Reject Shop - below RM20 wei!

was deciding between this..

and this

Chose this finally, in any case if t here is a need for some tangerine feel for Chinese New Year

Reject Shop for RM8 wei!

Dato! Where are you?

2011-01-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

I am tired, stresses, shortchanged in many areas of life... ;(

And it's confirmed my shoulder is not balanced after all ;(

Too many things happened in such a short time and I am not taking it as well as I have expected. Perhaps I should refrain from buying that Lilian Too mini handbok and got so engrossed in it. Perhaps the change of a star sign too could have affected my mood swing and inefficiency..

There is too much emotion in me waiting to let go I don't know what to do!

I want to get many many dresses! See!? I am emotional! I am stressed not being able to buy what I wanted to buy ;(

I want to get rid of the zit on my cheek! Why my cheek!? I am stressed!

I need to get more sales! Where else can I hit on? I am dead stressed!

I need a breather..Please leave me alone.... :(

Sunday Hate

2011-01-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

I hate Sundays

God damn Sundays

Family day for some

Hate day for me

I hate Sunday

I hate you too

Because you started to hate me first

And when I hate someone

You are bound to be hated for life

But now..

I am tired of hating you

I hate myself

I hate men

Simply because you are a man

Men have dicks

Of various sizes that they sometimes hate

The love-hate just never stop

I hate afternoon sun

Which is breathing fire down my neck

Purging heat down my scalp

Yelping for me to wake up from dreams

Only to lie helplessly watching Melodi

I hate sickness

I hate pain

Both are cousins

That the slightest hint of them

Makes me feels like the world is waiting to end on me

No one but one me

Why...

I hate melodramatic musics

That makes me weep

In total misery

Reminding me of my current state of life

That I wasn't expecting

I wish I can have an androgynous emotion

That I can turn off like a radio whenever I need to

I hate to be left alone

But I am always left alone

Perhaps I choose to be left alone

And let the soul drift away from much thoughts

I love myself

Not because I am self centred

Because no one else deserve my love

I might as well showr no one but myself the love of my life...

I love myself

Bodysuit with mesh details from Asos

T-Bar heels from The Fashion Barrage

The Late Nite Discovery Channel

2011-01-05T01:01:00.003+08:00

Suet Mun says:
me and felix wants to plan a trip to gay club
Sailormoon says:
i wanna go!!!!
Suet Mun says:
and do wat
Sailormoon says:
ive always wanted to see the inside of a gay club!!
Suet Mun says:
haha
later ur mom kill me
Nimrod says:
hello wat r u talkin about
Suet Mun says:
i heard it smells of sperms
tho i duno how sperms smells like
Sailormoon says:
i wouldnt know what sperm smells like

Suet Mun says:
yah!
Sailormoon says:
if its like fish
maybe it smell like ikan bilis?
ikan bilis that is wet?
LOL
Suet Mun says:
ahhahahaha
u mean like salty?
Sailormoon says:
u mean like salted fish?
i dunno

hmmm
maybe depends on the food the guy eats
hahahaha

Nimrod says:
yes
its
v much dependant on what they eat
Sailormoon says:
hehehehe
so before doing anything
make him eat flowers
or stuff that smells nice
Nimrod says:
haaha
Sailormoon says:
like cookies and pastries

Sailormoon says:
all sperm is white
Suet Mun says:
green toad
Sailormoon says:
or transparent maybe
lets google
^^
Nimrod says:
not necessarily
depends on how concentrated it is

Suet Mun says:
u think it has got eyes?
Sailormoon says:
nope
its not exactly like ikan bilis
its just a cell
with a tail to swim

How can you not have friends of all diveristy and inquisitiveness?

I Am Simply Not That Kind

2011-01-04T22:02:00.003+08:00

I
Am one person who is never too ashamed or too worried on talking about the story of my life.
Simply because, I take it as a story seen in TV.
And who knows when I do become famous, I will have a written history of what I have gone through in life.
A chapter closed in life is the door to another chapter soon to be opened ;)
(now I feel like crooning some Taylor Swift's songs!)
And after every chapter closes, I realises that I become bolder, stronger and look at life at a hotter level! =D

Today, 2 hours before I started writing my this particular chapter, I had a relationship ended! hehehhe
I try to be sad, but I find it funny and definitely a story to share to all u male and female out there.
Life isn't that bad after all when your road came to a halt, or you hit into a bump. Or.. some silly people cross path with you =D

So a cuckoo came into sight on the eve of X'mas which I assume was a gift from Santa.
He Came, He Saw and He Conquered.
I Saw, I Smiled, and I Went With the Flow.
So there were 12,3645 of text messages which jammed up my hand phone with stories of love and devotion more than Taylor Swift can take up, elated dinner with not much current issues but more on love and devotion again, I was pressed for an answer into committing!
Disguising as a bankrupt cuckoo with screwed up life and 5 days later to claim that he is one succesful cuckoo businessman is just way too much for me to accept in a normal manner. I did not LOL.. nor did I weep as I may have missed a chance in being a Datin!

And at the end of the revelation, I was deemed a person with dry jokes ( I thought my post were funny!) and too strong in character ( well, I have a career, and I manages) and immature ( I didn;t order Happy Meal ok!!)

I have not much sensation and thought about losing a succesful businessman (but slightly cuckoo) who may ask my hand for marriage. What I can't understand is how do I project myself as immature when I have a strong independant character?
It took me a while to put in a few examples to ponder. I can't figure or give any example of any successful people who is strong in character while being immature. I am wondering if he meant bed room immaturity!!! =D

End of the pondering session, I would like to officially end this cuckoo episode by mourning in sadness and perhaps shed some tears, pretending that I have broken up, but all that I could tell myself is that I am very lucky to be saved from getting into further cuckoo session with a cuckoo who claims to be successful but disguising as a bankrupt and not able to handle a hot, independant woman like me. That must be some kind of easy business he is dealing with.. Even grocery owner ( u call that a business man too rite?) have to deal with sickly irritating aunties ok!?

Yeah, till now I can't decipher which part of the story is true. But it doesn't matter..
As I always believe, people meet for a reason. We cross each other path to learn and to grow.
And I always grow.. HOTTER than before =P
And each of these stupid episode only make me a stronger person who will wake up the next day with more energy to work, flirt and live life.. Because I managed to have another episode! ;)

Did I tell you I just grew hotter? =D

Perhaps it sounds like I am self consoling, but I also do not see the reason to weep.
I believe in fate and that everything that happen must be for a reason. In this instance, I supposed the Lord up there too felt that it is hilarious and it's about time to end it for me before I get too immersed in this insanity.

I must admit though it is never easy to understand me. After all, I am one 31 years old fiesty 'girl' who have a wonderful but stressful job, and at the same time have the time and energy to mingle with a bunch of uni girls and online acquaintances going ga-ga over dresses and jumpsuits and loiter in flea market and bazaars on weekends in weird clothing.

Those who don;t know me, most probably will never know me.
And those who know me, you simply adore my guts rite!? =D

Dear sir,
I can't do much if you insist on a soft spoken, devoted, loving and caring wife who does nothing but to bake u scones..
Perhaps as suggested, you can import one from the village of Labis or Batu Pahat.
My momma ain't wealthy enough to make me sit at home and learn to talk in soft spoken voice only to wait for you to ask for my hand.
And I am deeply sympathised you are traumatised with how strong in emotion I am in handling fickle, emotionally weakling like you ;)
I think.... perhaps you should look for a drug addict.
Because they are normally fragile and soft spoken (high mah!)

No wonder today I felt so good about myself that I have to show u to prove it!

damn! I sure do not look devastated! O.o

I was inspired to write about this so immediate when I heard taylor Swift crooning and I had my own lyrics too!! =D

I
Am not the kind of girl
Who will dug my head lower than your shoulder height
But you
Am not the kind of guy
Who should be giving lectures
Cus u simply are cuckoo

I
Am not the kind of girl
Who will serve you tea and cupcakes
In an altered voice
Depicting Nobita and Sizuka
Cus I am not as snotty
and not as dodgy as you

Yes,
I do have a lot of dreams,
Cus I am young, hot and living life
But
Youuuuu
Are simply old, mad and fickle minded piece of log
that you scared the shit out of me and most probably my neighbour

Don't say that Im immature,
when your master grand plan was easy to decipher
and ended as a laughter
to me, my friend and all online readers :P
wooooooo, oh wooooo

aihh,
my cuckoo acquaintance..
take some time to retire
and decide if u gone bankrupt or went succesfull
either way, u're really joker of the year,
thank you for the entertainment provided in my post!

------

The moral of the story is, be yourself at all times, because not everyone is good at making up stories and live thru it
And when you have a silly scripted story like the above, for all you know, you have screwed up your very crucial opportunity. Be it in relationship, work or live.

I am one transparent person who finds it hard to keep myself to myself :)
Of course, when I felt lazy and decided to skip an hour off work, that I will need to make a good script =D
But I simply do not condone to silly idea as the cuckoo above who went by the reason that he was trying to test the other end her sincerity..in this case, MINE

Well, my cuckoo..
Read my ~~lips~~ lyrics
I am that sincere about you wacko!

pfffttttt