Yesterday I was someone. But I always thought that I am Suetha the Indian Classical Dancer. Then today I am Suhana. Day before I was Suet Mun. Welcome to my alter ego page..

Yours truly,
Suhana Suetha

Thursday, June 28, 2012

No, I don't Play Games At Work

I filled in their names then followed by subject matter : Contract Worker Salary - June '12. Then I progress to the date of me issuing the payment voucher and later on proceed to indicate their hours of work. As I progress towards the fourth person I missed writing in the date as per the initial order. So was the sixth worker. I missed the date and have to re-write it again.

How could I have missed it? After month of doing it, these glitches are so random. Could it be that these actions have become so mundane that I may have been doing it without much thinking required? And that these certain inconsistent are signs that I cannot accept  a  stagnant routine that doesn't require much challenge? I am feeling like a clerk for the first time! Well not that I am a clerk literally, but the routine make me feel like a person who cannot and doesn't have much goal at work except to wait for the pretty good salary to come in at the end of the month. And issued by my goodself some more -__-

There is only one main reason people have to find a job - to sustain a life by getting money out of the services and skills that they contributed to the company. But have everyone actually found a calling or at least a purpose in their life at the course of doing their job?

There are those I know who spend most of her time browsing online shops or playing stupid commercial online game during office hour and yet have never ask ownself if this is what they want for the rest of their life? Being in a position called 'work' and telling people they have a 'job' but in real, they do have a 'job' and they get paid every month end without evaluating the essence of the job? They are proud. Because given the same amount of time grounded in an office, you could have most probably having heart attack to finish writing an entire article for the coming World up for next day publication. Someone else somewhere could be sitting in the toilet crying out quietly because there is no way the Production Manager can accept their proposal to extend the production dateline. And I am most probably at my current position now, issuing salary chits to a bunch of midget Indonesian labours and wonder what great challenges have  faced at work today that I will be proud to acknowledge.

I seriously do not know what does young people now see in the job that they have undertake. I value the responsibilities given to me and more often than not, I know I give more than I take back in rewards. Ironic perhaps. because I am never a generous person in life! =D
But I have a strong working sentiment that I have failed to lower. When boss decides to be lazy today and leave early to join his village friends  for booze and maybe suckling pigs complimented by some hand jobs from the China girls, I am pissed!

I am pissed that he failed to lead an example. I am pissed that he failed to be meticulous and take inconsideration of alot of things without analysing. I am pissed that he feels a sudden urge to have a nap in the midst of understanding a 7 kilometer span Perimeter Intrusion Detection System technical layout. I am pissed that the technical people do not tuck in their shirts. I am pissed why almost all of them, inclusive of the throne -master failed to use a lil bit of common sense at work and be able to perform logic thinking when confronted with a situation. 

Perhaps I shouldn't be feeling pissed. After all, despite having the say to do a lot of things, I have no losses in a lot of things too. I too, could have joined the mule and do online gaming during office hour and look at distasteful clothes and hope that one day I can be slim.  But I am not contented!! That is not how a salaried person should behave! 

A job is not just a job to me. Accepting a job is like accepting part of a new circuit board to be integrated into your bodily system. That you need to get the entire system rebooted and perform! And show the rest of other cisrcuit boards that you are one heck of a good mother board of excellent performance.

And yet, day in day out below-the-par staff never do learn. I am actually not that worried about them. because them failing means the world will have lesser competition. I am worried about myself. I am seeing a distance. Between sanity and civilization. I think I am being pulled towards the common people section, where you don't need to care much but to facebook and wait till you get an assignment and get paid. 

I am very afraid of losing my corporate sense. I have adjusted to shouting at foolish staff, nagging at throne-master and being aggressive to vendors. I simply do not want to be one who stays in the office and play Super Mario Brothers until someone come knocking on the door to deliver parcel..

Help me....

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